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One-Two Punch

07/23/2012

Belle

I woke up in a good mood today, ready to write a summary on the detox and explain my weekend disappearance (our Internet has died. Y’all, life with out the Interwebs is tough!) but first I had to visit the opthamologist for a routine 6 month check on my uveitis. I have a lot of new readers so I will summarize my uveitis history with one poorly written paragraph:

In November 2010 I was diagnosed with acute (bad) bi-lateral (both eyes) reoccurring (it is a constant dealio) uveitis (the swelling of the inside of your eye) for which they can find no underlying problem but have determined it is “most likely” lupus (I hate the medical field). Since then, uveitis has been a constant thorn in my side, threatening to leave me blind and causing mild to severe pain and visual disturbances. It sucks tremendously and is making our entire “let’s make a baby with science” journey that much more complicated.  You can read all about what uveitis is and it’s bucket-list of causes here.

Back to today.

I have been feeling pretty good and honestly thought the eyes were quiet. Aside from a few headaches that didn’t respond to Advil and my pretty consistently crappy vision, life was fine. Then Dr. Eyes looked in and announced that my left eye is flaring. *PUNCH ONE* This is the first time that only one eye has flared, normally it is both, and that I was not hit with an onslaught of symptoms. I was so caught off guard that I didn’t even ask any questions and just sort of stared at him. Then I had to give the update on my history. Our conversation went like this:

Belle: I have been doing IVF. I had a miscarriage at the end of May. It was Trisomy 15 and the lupus panel came back negative so there was no autoimmune factor.

Dr. Eyes: Ok. {scribbling in his folder} Well I bet you are glad that miscarriage happened!

Belle: {staring at him with mouth open}

Dr. Eyes: I mean with a Trisomy 15 and all. *PUNCH TWO*

Belle: Oh, yeah, I guess better it took care of itself at 7.5 weeks than I find out my baby has no head at 20 weeks. {can this guy feel my sarcasm cause it is thick}

Dr. Eyes: {chuckling} Yep! {scribbling some more} So do you have kids?

Belle: No. Just cats.

Dr. Eyes: Oh, kids are way better than cats. They are so much fun. Your life changes when they come but it is absolutely worth it. I have three. *BONUS PUNCH THREE!*

Belle: That’s wonderful. You are very lucky.

Dr. Eyes: Yeah, they are great. They are all paying la cross. Blah blah blah blah blah my kids are wonderful and play la cross nad did you know how HUGE la cross is in Lexington? blah blah blah

Belle: {puts on big girl panties} Really? I had no idea! {continues to chat about this guys beautiful, athletic family while choking back tears that all I have to return home to are four lousy cats who play feather chase, not la cross}

I am now 100% back in square one: unpregnant, uveitis flare and my appointment with the rheumatologist last week (which I still have not written about) brought more head scratching and a new concern over some red spots on my neck and chest which promoted another more terrifying “potential diagnosis” of scleroderma.

I’m in such a sad state right now that I’m not even going to bother proofing this, something that I usually love doing. Instead I’m going to go eat my carb-free, sugar-free lunch and have a good pity cry.

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36 Comments

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  1. MaLa #
    July 23, 2012

    *PUNCH FOUR* My fist hitting Dr. Eyes’ face. How awful! >:-(

  2. meggola #
    July 23, 2012

    What. A. Jerk. I would have put on my big girl panties and told him where he could stuff it! At least, that’s what I like to think I would have done. I just hate when people swallow their foot like that and you feel like there’s nothing you can say. All you want to do is point out to them what jerks they’re being and how hurtful and insensitive they are, but your good manners hold you back. I’m so sorry. Hugs.

  3. Mo #
    July 23, 2012

    OMG what a complete Douchenozzle. I’m so incredibly sorry you had to sit through that. :-(
    I suggest all commenters come up with a way in the comments to thoroughly abuse him. I’ll start: May he be made to march in a parade while completely nekkid and holding a sign that mocks his tiny package.

  4. Shelley #
    July 23, 2012

    Oh no way, kids are better than cats?! Gee, you don’t say. Let me just go trade in these felines for some kids then!

  5. July 23, 2012

    What’s wrong with people?! This guy sucked. I’m sorry you had to endure such a painful encounter. Also, I hope your flare-up improves.

  6. July 23, 2012

    WOW! I hope you can break-up with that doctor.

    • July 23, 2012

      I really wish I could, however, he is the only retina specialist in the area. :( with all my issues I need to live in a bit city.

  7. July 23, 2012

    May Dr. Eyes’ dreams be haunted for a month by lacrosse-playing cats meowing that loud, in heat brand of meow/shrieking.

  8. Jay #
    July 23, 2012

    This guy is a moron. Really. You should totally write him up for my ‘Ugly’ category of doctor reviews (check out my good/bad/ugly post)

  9. 35life #
    July 23, 2012

    Oh, I could just scream for you right now! How completely oblivious and insensitive he is! You not only told him you went through IVF, but that you miscarried. Why on earth would he go on about his kids and how they are better than cats?!? As if you chose cats over children? I’d take one of those lacrosse sticks and smash him over the head with it!!

  10. July 23, 2012

    Omg Belle! How horrible! I agree with MaLa! Daaaaaamn. This is what Izzy and I were talking about yesterday. Yes, it is ultimately better but why is it so hard for people to be even a little bit sensitive!!! I really am so sorry you had to go through that convo. :(

  11. July 23, 2012

    I can’t believe after you said you were doing IVF that he not only talks about his kids but how you should have them because they are great. OBVIOUSLY YOU WANT KIDS AND ARE TRYING TO HAVE THEM. :( :( :( Do they make sugar-free, carb-free chocolate?

  12. July 23, 2012

    I want to punch your doctor. Serious, did he suffer a head injury from playing la crosse?because that is the most insensitive BS I’ve heard to date. Who the fuck asks a someone if they’re happy that they had a miscarriage?

    My vote: find a new doctor. And call the clinic to report what this asshole did. Because he is an asshole. Unfortunately one that can reproduce, but an asshole none the less

  13. July 23, 2012

    I have nothing to add that hasn’t already been said about this steaming pile of shit doctor. I’m so angry for you, Belle. And I’m so, so sorry that you went through this. :(

  14. July 23, 2012

    Oh, Belle…that appointment sounds like a effing NIGHTMARE. What the hell is wrong with people??? Seriously. Screw punching him in the face, I’ll go straight for the nuts to ensure he doesn’t procreate any further.

  15. July 23, 2012

    OMG, Belle. I’m so sorry. Kids better than cats…as if!

    I’m amazed at the lack of tact that some people have nowadays. I’ve now come to the point in my life and my infertility journey that I’m blantantly honest for the sole purpose of shocking people when they ask or make inappropriate statements about my infertile state. Is that right? Probably not, but it shuts them up, educates them, and makes me feel better.

    (((HUGS)))

  16. KelBel #
    July 23, 2012

    Hi…I am new from ICLW and wow I wish there was a Punch #4 for Dr. Eye’s! I am so sorry you had to go through this.

  17. July 23, 2012

    Ugh…I am so sorry. This guy deserves three punches right back at him! Thinking of you!!

  18. July 23, 2012

    What an A**hole! Seriously. I can’t believe the things people say and the pure lack of THINKING before they speak. I vividly remember a store clerk at a baby store (where I was buying a gift for a friends’ new baby and in year 2 of trying to conceive myself) going along the same lines- asking if I had kids and then saying I absolutely SHOULD b/c it is so WONDERFUL, etc etc etc. It was all I could do not to punch her in the face and run out with the baby outfit unpaid. So sorry you had to endure that- it is truly the last thing you need right now! Sending virtual hugs.

  19. July 23, 2012

    Ha! I just read Mo’s comment and would like to contribute… my line, when I am REALLY really peeved at someone, can easily be adapted for the doc: I would rip out his hair, set it on fire, pee on it, and stuff it up his a**. Terrible, but it always makes me giggle to say even in the midst of some really crappy people & situations. : )

  20. July 23, 2012

    So I get that Dr. Eyes doesn’t deal with infertile women all of the times, but WTF was he thinking??? I’m shocked you didn’t punch him out!

  21. July 23, 2012

    Fuck Dr. Eyes! TO add to Mo’s comment: May his children all fail as athletes. Aw wait, that sounds mean. And I’m a HS counselor so I don’t want to take it out on his kids. I hope their Lacrosse teams all lose so he has less to brag about.

  22. marwil #
    July 23, 2012

    How clueless and insensitive! That appointment should be about you damnit, not about him bragging about his kids. So sorry you had to go through that. Hope you don’t need to go back for a long while!

  23. July 23, 2012

    Seriously want to punch that Dr. in the nuts! How RUDE and insensitive can someone be! AGH I’m fuming for you :(

  24. July 23, 2012

    Sounds like one of those idiots who talks himself into corners when hungry/sleepy/in-need-of-cigarette. Lets hope that whenever he got his fix of choice he suddenly remembered your conversation, saw the light, and has been consumed by guilt ever since.

    And lets just hope he’s not like that all the time with no regard to the effect on others….or one of those kids will eventually wack him with a la cross stick. Happy thoughts for us either way! :)

  25. July 23, 2012

    Ugh! That is horrible. I’m sorry you had to go through that. I don’t have any really good ones like Mo and your other commenters, I just hope that one of his amazing athlete kids hits him in the balls with a lacrosse stick or ball.

  26. July 24, 2012

    UGH, what an uber douche. I suggest some kind of torture device that feeds his genitals up inside himself and then eventually comes out of his own eyeballs. And then we all get together and throttle him in the nuts (which are now also in his face). Double win.

  27. July 24, 2012

    I’d like to introduce that Lacrosse-loving douchelord poser to Prince Harry’s polo mallet. Dude doesn’t look like he misses. Plus he’s hot. We all win!!

    Seriously, that’s a lot of stuff on your plate. Sending detoxifying hugs…

  28. EmHart #
    July 24, 2012

    Ugggh. Unbelievable. You would think the IVF clue would be enough to suggest you thought having kids was not an entirely bad idea and that maybe it was a sensitive issue. What an insensitive prick.

  29. July 24, 2012

    Belle, this reads like a black comedy, except when black comedies are real life then they aren’t funny. How did you not say something to him? That must have been awful.

    I will keep my fingers crossed that they find the source of the uveitis. I also hope that you did actually have a good cry, because you deserve one. And, of course, I hope that today is a little bit brighter. Take care!

  30. July 24, 2012

    Oh, man, I hate that doctor. I’m so sorry, Belle. Autoimmune stuff sucks so much. A good diet is supposed to really helpful, so I’m glad you stuck with that. You definitely deserve that pity cry.

  31. July 24, 2012

    So sorry for your suffering…Just a thought: Since you went out of town to find a loving, nurturing IVF specialist perhaps you should look for a retina specialist, too. As your research has proved, the right kind of positive, supporting environment, Dr’s and staff has the power to heal. I don’t know if you will ever be comfortable with this guy again. What a lesson in empathy..one that he didn’t learn..but we all did. ((Hugs))

    • July 24, 2012

      I considered finding a new doctor out of town, but this clinic has my extremely exhaustive history and is located one floor up from my rheumatologist, who I adore. I can deal with a little ass-holery for convenience in this case :)

  32. July 24, 2012

    What an asshole!! It never ceases to amaze me how insensitive Drs can be!! I am sorry he said all that crap!

  33. Rachel #
    July 24, 2012

    WOW! What an ass!
    Wellllllll, I bet his kids are stupid like him and his cats ran away! Take that, Dr. Douche!

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