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Why Scrambled Eggs?

In February I paid my general physician a visit to discuss having a baby. In November 2010 I had been diagnosed with what medical experts suspect is mild lupus. My doctors advice once I was in remission was make babies now. “Do not wait,” they said. “You are already 30 and we don’t know what turn this potential lupus will take in the future.” Mr. Husband and I took this warning to heart and decided to proceed. Adios birth control!

So I talked to my general physician about making sure my body was in fighting shape for baby making. We talked about my healthy lifestyle, my worries and my desires.

I am a:

  1. Pescetarian : I eat fish once or twice a week.
  2. I do not eat anything with legs (including shellfish)
  3. I do not eat dairy (allergic to dairy, nuts, peanuts, and shellfish, actually)
  4. I practice yoga religiously
  5. I walk
  6. I bike
  7. I weight train
  8. My BMI is 20
  9. I do not smoke, I have a beer with dinner
  10. I only eat whole grains
  11. I eat a wide variety of fruits and veggies

The doctor smiled and assured me that aside from the potential lupus, I am one of the healthiest people she has seen. The only thing she would change is that I should eat eggs.

I gagged. Eggs. Yuck.

She explained that eggs are one of the healthiest things I can eat and that by having them about three times a week I can basically bet on a healthy, successful pregnancy.

Really? Eggs can do that?

“You bet!” she cheered.

And so I left with a false sense of security. If eating eggs is all I had to do to achieve optimal health and make a baby then bring on the liquid chicken. I scrambled eggs into rice that night and, as I served it to Mr. Husband, announced that at this rate we’ll be pregnant in no time!

By April I had not had a period since November. “But I’m so healthy!” I pleaded with the reproductive endocrinologist (RE), who we shall refer to as Dr. Who. “Yes,” he said. “But you’re not ovulating. We’ll start you on Clomid. It is the miracle drug.”

Clomid + scrambled eggs. Surely that would make an egg come out of me.

The only thing Clomid produced in my body was an allergic reaction causing me to lose half my hair. A tragic event for a slightly-vain and seemingly infertile 30-year old.

The weeks following Clomid have been a rollercoaster of emotions and doctors. I eventually fired Dr. Who after two potentially fatal events where my food allergies were overlooked (nuts and shellfish allergies are serious business, Dr. Who!)

Today I have a new RE we shall call Dr. Hope. Dr. Hope has a wife with an autoimmune condition whom he successfully knocked up with triplets. While I’m not super keen on having a litter of babies, I do take this success as a glimmer of hope in my bowl of scrambled eggs. On Monday I’ll start Crinone to induce a period and then, hopefully, my first round of Gonal-F.

I find this TTC journey immensely stressful and lonely. I am certain Mr. Husband is tired of hearing about my ovaries, my cervical mucus, my NEED for a family. I know the cats are tired of my spontaneous crying outbursts. I know my coworkers are suspicious. I know I need a release.

In a previous pre-TTC life I would have found that release through intense cardio and weight lifting. The doctors, however, stress that I need to relax, rest and gain some fat in order to prepare for a baby. Instead of beating my body and mind into submission, I have started this blog, Scrambled Eggs, as a way to share my journey anonymously across the blogiverse. Maybe I’ll bring some comfort and inspiration to others. Maybe I’ll make some TTC friends. Maybe I’ll be able to make it a full 24-hours without saying “baby,” “vagina” or “ovaries” to poor Mr. Husband. Maybe.

Will you join me?

15 Comments

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  1. August 15, 2011

    I hear you! I’m at home from work today with bloating and mild abdominal pain… both lovely Clomid side effects. I started a TTC blog for the same reason, if you need a read it’s here:

    http://notsoeasyjournal.wordpress.com/

  2. November 19, 2011

    Clomid was awful for me too. Caused HUGE cysts and I never even ovulated! I hate that stuff.

  3. November 30, 2011

    I’m so glad I stumbled upon your blog! I also have fertility issues – though I’m still at the beginning of my journey (starting clomid in a few weeks). I know how hard this is, and my blog is still new, so I haven’t been able to find the support I really need! Therefore, I really appreciate you sharing your story. I’ll be following you to hear updates!

    Also, your blog is wonderful, and doing so well! I love the scrambled eggs title. Again, as a newbie, I’d love any feedback you have in getting others to hear your story! Thanks!

    futuresupermom.wordpress.com

    • November 30, 2011

      Thanks for the kind words, Future Super Mom! I have skimmed your blog adn promise to give it a solid read through this weekend. Infertility and autoimmune issues are SUCH a double whammy. Check out Stirrup Queens for all kinds of links to great IF blogs and all sorts of good information, too.

  4. January 31, 2012

    I’ve been lurking and reading your blog on and off for a few months. Today is the first time I’ve read your About Me section… and I appreciate your sense of humor. The laugh you just gave me came at a much needed time. Thanks!

  5. veetamia #
    March 2, 2012

    Just found your blog yesterday through the March photo challenge. I love your writing style! I hope you get your blessings soon enough ;) Are you still on the egg diet? ha,ha I guess I should give it a try, but put the huz on diet as well – this is team work right?!

    • March 2, 2012

      Lol, I actually do still try to eat eggs at least once a week! It certainly could not hurt, although it seems to not be doing me a whole lotta good other than making me a CHAMPION omelet maker :)

  6. November 30, 2012

    I’ve nominated you for a Reality Award, because I find you…

    Real
    Energizing
    Amazing
    Lovely
    Inspiring
    Touching
    Yippee

    http://ivfmale.wordpress.com/2012/11/30/reality-award/

  7. Amanda Levy #
    January 30, 2013

    I feel for you….we tried for four and a half years to have a baby….bounced from doctor to doctor before finally finding one that worked with me, rather than just saying, “Lose weight and you’ll have no problems getting pregnant…” The others had no idea how to help me, or were just refusing to see me as a human, and not just a number. I’m hoping, for the sake of their other patients, it was the first option.
    Anyway, after trying for about two years (trying different medications, different strengths of medications, different combos…you get the idea) with my current doctor, he refered us to a specialist. We finally got a pregnancy to stick (we had a couple of losses….devestated doesn’t even begin to describe it), and gave birth to a beautiful baby girl in May of ’11.
    We are about to start trying again in a couple of weeks, and I’m sure I’m going to go just as crazy as I did the first time, so I’m hoping you ladies will welcome me, and we can all go through this journey together!

    • January 30, 2013

      Oh Amanda, you are absolutely always welcome here! I’m so glad you finally got your miracle baby and hope so much that No. 2 is not far off!

  8. Charlotte NYC #
    March 20, 2013

    Dear Belle,
    I just randomly stumbled upon your blog and I love it! It is beautiful, well-written, and makes me laugh. It also gives me hope as we go through our infertility journey ourselves. It is a lonely journey so finding others going through it is in a way comforting and inspiring. I am surrounded by countless friends and co-workers who seem to get pregnant on the first try and spend their time talking about babies, so I felt compelled to take some distance to keep my sanity. At this point, I have decided not to share our situation and updates with anyone I know, even my parents, mostly to manage the pain of each failure we have gone through. In lieu of sharing our updates with friends and family, I spend most of my free time on the internet looking for statistics on infertility and reading blogs by people like us.
    I love cats too. I adopted my cat from a shelter 12 years ago. She is a beautiful long-haired kitty with one eye (the other one had a melanoma and was removed 2 years ago) so the picture of the grey one-eyed cat on your blog caught my attention :-)
    A little information on our journey: I stopped birth control in January 2012 and started suspecting infertility in July. Both my husband and I are 36 so we went straight to a RE clinic at that point, and found out that my husband’s sperm count and morphology are unusually low. Luckily, everything seems fine on my end. After 3 failed IUIs, we started a frozen IVF in February. We did not have to go the frozen route, but we read a few articles saying it had high success rates and was “the way of the future” so we suggested it to our RE who fully supported our choice. We also opted for PGD on our five 5-day blastocysts, another emerging technique. A number of studies on 3-day embryo PGD indicate that the biopsies can damage the embryos, but that the issue is mostly alleviated with 5-day blastocysts. We lucked out again, and 4 out of the 5 blastocysts were deemed genetically sound. I just had a 5AA transferred on Monday 3/18 (a female according to the PGD, already hatching) and we are now anxiously going through our 9-day wait. We were supposed to transfer a different blastocyst, but it did not survive the thawing, which I find odd. Anyway, I am driving myself crazy trying to pay attention to every little sensation in my body, but it may just be gas :-) If it fails, we have a couple more blastocysts to go, but they are of lesser quality.
    Well, while we are waiting, I think I’ll have a few eggs! Good luck on the rest of your journey, and thank you for your posts!

  9. June 18, 2013

    Just stumbled upon your blog. Am in a reading/researching frenzy. Love your style of writing. Will continue to catch up on your story.

  10. August 4, 2013

    A lot of thanks for all of your work on this web site.
    Gloria enjoys going through research and it’s really simple to grasp why. We all learn all concerning the compelling mode you render very helpful tips and hints on your blog and as well as recommend response from other individuals on that concern then my daughter is really becoming educated a lot. Take pleasure in the remaining portion of the year. You’re the one doing a wonderful job.

  11. October 11, 2013

    Psst…I nominated you for the sunshine award: http://ecutripartdeux.wordpress.com/2013/10/11/sunshine-award/ :)

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