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“Wise” advice from late-night nurses



1. Your time will come.
This is bull. You have no way of knowing my “time will come.” I don’t care how “accurate your gut is.” If you could really predict that someone will and won’t have a healthy baby than you would be the richest person in the world.

2. Just relax and it will happen!
REALLY???? All I have to do is relax? I sure wish someone would have told me that before I spent all this money, got fat and threw my relationship into a mudslide.

3. You have to have faith.
Sorry, I just don’t believe you. I had faith and this is where I landed – having someone measure my pee.

4. You can always adopt.
I HATE hearing this. If adoption meant we would be just as happy as having created our own baby in our bodies with our DNA then don’t you think we would have done this already?

5. Now now, this is not the end of the world. There is so much more to life.
Actually, in my little world there isn’t much else a the moment. Don’t tell me this. Especially when I’m already crying.

I’m not doing very well this morning. I’m hungry, lonely, tired and sore. I have a belly that looks pregnant but it is not. I spent all night answering nurses questions and having them tell me some combination of the above five points. One nurse decided that I should read the Twilight series as this would give me hope. Sorry. I don’t think my hope lies in mainstream fiction. Thanks, though.

I feel like I am disappointing everyone. My husband’s mother paid for the IUIs. Now I get to send her an email saying that her efforts at a grandchild failed again. OH, but according to the nurse that does not know me, “my time will come.”



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  1. Mo #
    August 8, 2011

    Urgh. I always get the most miffed by people in the medical profession spewing this BS. My last OB/Gyn made the mistake of telling me to relax. Needless to say, he is no longer my doctor. I’ve had worse than that actually. When I was diagnosed with a suspected ectopic, the nurse who gave me the Metho shot told me to just relax and this will “kill it.” Mind you, this is 5 minutes after I had had a screaming panic attack in front of her upon hearing that I was getting this shot. Ahh, bedside manner. You gotta love it. Hang in there! xoxo

  2. August 8, 2011

    Holy shit girl– you need to tell those fucktards to shove it. Seriously. I could run a whole list of shit that stupid people said to me in the days, weeks and months after my son died.. it never ceases to amaze me.
    At the same time, there are so many people out there– many who are strangers- who have said just the right things when I needed it. Again with the amazement.. only different ;o)
    Try to go easy on yourself.. I promise you that you are NOT a failure.
    I wish I could walk into your room and post a sign by your bed telling people what NOT to say- and explain to them how ridiculous their ‘sentiments’ are to you (and others in your position). I have learned that in life sometimes (with few exceptions though they are out there and I Iove them to bits) the only people who can truly understand what all of this feels like are those who have experienced it first hand.
    I’m thinking of you… and I am going to link your last post from my blog because I think that bringing attention to this (emotions) is so very important. LMK if that’s ok…

  3. August 8, 2011

    Mo I can’t BELIEVE that nurse said that! I would have let loose on his ass. I’m so sorry you had to deal with that guy. He is also an ass hat.

    Leslie thank you for your kind words. I am so surprised by this little fertility challenged blogging world I have found. You guys give me hope – while I am sad that you also have to deal with this I find comfort knowing I’m not alone. Most of my friends get knocked up if they sneeze while having sex. Feel free to link back to my post, too.

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