I had The Talk with my boss. My palms still sweat when I think about it. I posted a while back on how scared I was about the discussion and the risk it could pose to my job.
I toyed with trying to keep everything secret while doing IVF, but after yesterday’s appointment, thought better. I believe things happening for a reason. I very much believe that the IVF clinic not being open for another few months is the universe providing an opportunity to get all my ducks in a row, not just with the PCOS diet, but with my work load.
Today at 4:45 I emailed my boss asking if she had a minute at 5 to talk. Much to my dismay she said yes and so I went in, armed with a binder clip to fidget with (I’m extremely fidgety when nervous and if I don’t have a fidgety thing in my hand I will start to fidget with my hair, my glasses, or, worse, my shirt).
I explained to my boss the situation with the eyes and the urgency behind reproducing. I explained to her that I have PCOS and cannot have a baby on my own. I explained that IVF is mostly likely my only hope. I explained that we will be doing several medicated rounds before then just to see if we get lucky. And I explained my desire to work through it all and my determination to stay on-top of my assignments.
Much to my amazement, she supported me fully. She even said that there is extra grant money right now so if I feel we need to bring a temporary person on-board while I’m going through IVF, to let her know.
I was floored. I expected to work extra hours, not to have the option to hire extra help. I’m still in shock, I think. and my armpits are still sweaty.
The entire discussion was surprisingly painless and left me feeling in control of this situation. The last nine months have been a rollercoaster of secret keeping, of stress and of tears. Maybe by being a little more open, I will be able to manage the next cycles with a little more grace and a little less anger.
Thank you SO much for all your feedback the past few days on my stresses. I don’t think I would have had The Talk today had it not been for all your kind words and encouragement. I only hope I can give the same support back to you.