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The Talk



I feel like I can finally relax after having had "the talk." (This is not one of my cats. It is a cat-friend I made one afternoon while visiting Shaker Village)

I had The Talk with my boss. My palms still sweat when I think about it. I posted a while back on how scared I was about the discussion and the risk it could pose to my job.

I toyed with trying to keep everything secret while doing IVF, but after yesterday’s appointment, thought better. I believe things happening for a reason. I very much believe that the IVF clinic not being open for another few months is the universe providing an opportunity to get all my ducks in a row, not just with the PCOS diet, but with my work load.

Today at 4:45 I emailed my boss asking if she had a minute at 5 to talk. Much to my dismay she said yes and so I went in, armed with a binder clip to fidget with (I’m extremely fidgety when nervous and if I don’t have a fidgety thing in my hand I will start to fidget with my hair, my glasses, or, worse, my shirt).

I explained to my boss the situation with the eyes and the urgency behind reproducing. I explained to her that I have PCOS and cannot have a baby on my own. I explained that IVF is mostly likely my only hope. I explained that we will be doing several medicated rounds before then just to see if we get lucky. And I explained my desire to work through it all and my determination to stay on-top of my assignments.

Much to my amazement, she supported me fully. She even said that there is extra grant money right now so if I feel we need to bring a temporary person on-board while I’m going through IVF, to let her know.

I was floored. I expected to work extra hours, not to have the option to hire extra help. I’m still in shock, I think. and my armpits are still sweaty.

The entire discussion was surprisingly painless and left me feeling in control of this situation. The last nine months have been a rollercoaster of secret keeping, of stress and of tears. Maybe by being a little more open, I will be able to manage the next cycles with a little more grace and a little less anger.

Thank you SO much for all your feedback the past few days on my stresses. I don’t think I would have had The Talk today had it not been for all your kind words and encouragement. I only hope I can give the same support back to you.



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  1. September 22, 2011

    YAY! I’m so glad you talked! That is great! What a relief for you and thank goodness for an amazingly compassionate boss!

  2. September 22, 2011

    What a relief!!! Glad you decided to have the talk, and so so so glad it turned out so well!

  3. September 22, 2011

    I’m SO happy this went so well for you Belle. In my personal world infertility and IVF are no secret.. and I can honestly say that being open about it makes life a lot easier and takes off one thick layer of stress. It’s a really personal decision, but when I read posts like this- where talking about it out in the open really seems to help- I feel a bit lighter myself. What a world it would be if everyone had a better understanding and appreciation of the plight of infertiles. I can dream right…

  4. Mo #
    September 22, 2011

    Yay! I’m not surprised either. These things always go better than expected. Your boss sounds like an awesome lady. I’m so happy for you!

  5. September 22, 2011

    I’m so happy too! It has me thinking about telling my parents… that is a HUGE mess of an admission, though, so time will tell 🙂

  6. September 26, 2011

    that’s wonderful news, so happy for you!

  7. MJ #
    September 26, 2011

    YAY!!! Supportive bosses really make things easier. I’m so happy that it went well! CHEERS!

    • September 26, 2011

      Hey! I am so glad you commented! I need to follow your new blog. I’m doing it right now….

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