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panty checker

09/29/2011

Belle

So huge. So scary. So pink...

There are five reasons I hate birth control pills.

ONE: It makes me crave carbs, Carbs, CARBS! Which is not a good thing when you are desperately trying to maintain a PCOS diet. God help the poor soul that passes my office with a warm Subway sandwich.

TWO: Totally obnoxious mood swings that are not so much a swing but a gradual acceleration towards crazy followed by a painfully slow crawl back down to sane all while I am completely aware of my irrationality but unable to stop.

THREE: In case I didn’t have enough before, more acne.

FOUR: TOTAL loss of libido. Poor Mr. Husband.

FIVE: Spotting. Dr. Hope put me on a low estrogen pill this cycle so that I can avoid the “I want to kill myself or someone else” violent swings I get when on high estrogen pills. The side effect of a low-dose pill is ridiculous spotting and obsessive panty checking.

My lady parts could be fine and dandy and happy as a clam for HOURS and then WOOSH, a massive surge that has me calling Mr. Husband requesting that he please, for the love of god, bring me a fresh pair of pants.

I’m heading out of town for the next three weekends and would really like to relax and not worry about the spotting monster. I’m considering trying Instead Soft Cups tonight. I have read they are good for menopausal women who are having problems with spotting and breakthrough bleeding but am hesitant to try because Oh My Freaking God they are yuuuuge!

Any of y’all have some input on this? I would really like to enjoy my weekend trips while not rushing to check my panties every 30 minutes. All those panty checks are taking up valuable time when I could be acting irrationally or day dreaming about eating my way through a bakery.

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7 Comments

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  1. September 29, 2011

    OMG, I am on my way to the doctor this afternoon to discuss EVERY SINGLE ONE of these issues. I am CRAZY. I can’t stop eating. I have worse acne than I did as a teen or ant any other point in my life. I am BLOATED. I spot at random times…all I want is to feel NORMAL again! I don’t remember the pill ever having these effects a lifetime ago when I was trying NOT to get pregnant!

    • September 29, 2011

      It is bloody terrible isn’t it? (pun intended). The bloat… I forgot about the bloat. I’m so bloated even my thighs are swelling. Good luck with your doctors appointment. I hope you get some good answers!

  2. September 29, 2011

    Thank you! Oh, and BTW, I use the instead cup sometimes. For whatever reason, it doesn’t bother me as much *internally* as a tampon does. It took me some time to get used to putting them in so I definately would recommend a liner at first. But beside the “learning” to use them part, I actually like them.

  3. September 29, 2011

    I’ve used softcups for almost two years now. I will NEVER go back to tampons. Can’t say enough good things about softcups.. and PS they are so much better for your body. I promise you that they feel like NOTHING! You pinch them in half to insert them and the shape become exactly like that of a tampon. They open in place when they are inserted and you will not feel a thing.. promise!

    • September 30, 2011

      Thank you for the input! I have one “in there” right now and it is shockingly not bad! The fun will come when I try to fish the bugger out this evening…

  4. Mo #
    September 29, 2011

    LOL. I’m sorry, no tips, but I found this post absolutely charming.
    You are so funny Belle.
    Much love to you! Hang in there!

    • September 30, 2011

      Always happy to entertain!

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