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Goal: No Tears

09/30/2011

Belle

I’m heading to Birmingham this weekend to visit one of my very dearest friends… who just had a baby.

Every time I’m around a baby I feel such hatred towards my body. It’s terrible to feel this way and robs me of the special time I have with my friends’ children. They will only be this small today. Why can’t I just enjoy it?

So this weekend’s goal is to keep my shit together. I will not cry. I will not take my frustration with my own body out on Mr. Husband. I will not lament about my infertility to my friend. I will enjoy the 12 hours of drive time, I will enjoy an early  morning hike with my girlfriend, I will enjoy her delicious vegan chili and, most importantly, I will enjoy meeting her daughter.

What will you be enjoying this weekend?

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7 Comments

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  1. September 30, 2011

    As someone who just did this…I think it’s important to not just hold back the tears. I think, if you can, step away for a minute or two in the bathroom and let it out and then go back and be around her and her daughter. At first it was really hard to be around my friend’s babies, and fortunately they let me cry when I needed to. But the longer I was around them, the more I found myself drawn to them and not effected negatively by their presence, and by the end of the weekend, I was even holding them and wanting to be around them. It was really energizing.

    Good luck!

  2. September 30, 2011

    You will.. and if for some reason you have a hard moment I hope you will be easy on yourself. And hey.. if you don’t mind will you get me that vegan chilli recipe!? ;o)

    • October 1, 2011

      Chili recipe finally posted! And this weekend is going very well. I’ll post more on it when I get home. Thanks for all the kind words!

  3. Rachel @ Eggs In A Row #
    September 30, 2011

    I’ve been here so many times. Seriously. But my new thing is to just relax and look at the child as a baby, not as “this should of been my baby! OMG why is life so unfair!” but as a kid, like I would of when I was 16. At 16, I wanted a baby, but I knew it wasn’t time. It’s just easier that way.

    Oh, and also, I recommend posting, “Emergency! Help me!” on the blog. I did that with my visit at my niece’s and I got fun videos from you all and that helped! Good luck! xoxo

  4. Mo #
    September 30, 2011

    Yes! You will do all of that! Except the crying!
    Have a fabulous time!

  5. October 1, 2011

    I think it is really great that you have this blog to express these issues. I hate to think of the time that you were keeping it all in and suffering around babies when you could have been rejoicing. ie:family reunion:( I like the other bloggers comment about sending out an SOS if you need to. Your blog community (& this member of your family) will be there to help you through.
    Enjoy your girlfriend and her new baby ~ Perhaps your body & mind will feel the love and decide to do something about it 🙂 Positive vibes towards yourself are always better than negative.
    Hugs!

    • October 1, 2011

      This blog has been a god-send for me. Without it I might be stark raving mad by now! Instead, I’m just mad 🙂 The family reunion was hard this year but not unbearable. In time I’ll tell family about this, just not right now. Baby steps. Much love to you, dear cousin!

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