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Hello, uterus? Are you there? It’s me, Belle.

10/11/2011

Belle

Image snatched from http://www.iheartguts.com.

 

UPDATE AT 12:30 p.m.: Bitch and you shall receive. So I just ventured away from my desk to get a SECOND helping of left over birthday apple crisp from the kitchen at work and what do I feel? Squish! Off to Panty Check No. 5,743 and low-and-behold my period has finally started!

I never thought I would be cheering on my body to hurry up and menstruate. In college I spent copious amounts of time meticulously planning my life around my periods and craftily tweaking Mother Nature’s schedule with a couple extra birth control pills here and there. I hated periods and would have been quite happy if my lady parts just dried up.

Today, it seems they have dried up and rather than rejoicing in a tampon-free life, I am fretting. I am waiting… … waiting…. Waiting……. Panty checking. And still, nothing.

I took my last birth control pill on Saturday. I was supposed to take one more on Sunday but I was so tired of feeling like crap from it that I figured one fewer pills would be ok. Little did I know that days later I would feel like a big steaming pile of poo.

Today I’m tired, constipated, spaced out, grumpy and am so damn bloated that I might actually pass as mild OHSS. My legs hurt. My head hurts. All of this woe and not the slightest quiver from my lady parts. Not the tiniest spot or sign that a period is on the forefront.

I am so afraid that something is bad wrong and a period is never going to happen. I’m afraid that the next cycle will also be canceled before it even starts. If that happens I might as well hang up the TTC hat for the rest of the year, as November and December are out due to holiday travels. And you know what that would mean? That in 12 months of trying to have a baby I only ovulated once.

ONCE!

At this rate I’ll be pregnant when I’m 50.

As you can see, I’m still in a terrible mood. I hope this gets better soon. Mr. Husband might leave me and my grumpy cat soon for happier, more fertile women.* Actually, my cat might beg and plead for him to take her, too.

It’s about time for lunch here. I think I’m going to spend it Google-ing how to make a period happen, eating carbs and feeling sorry for my crappy ovaries and empty ute.

* Mr. Husband would actually never leave me.

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14 Comments

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  1. Mo #
    October 11, 2011

    Urg. I’m so sorry hon.
    Try ginger tea and wearing white panties. It worked for me.
    PS – love the new header!

    • October 12, 2011

      White panties and maybe white pants. 🙂 Thanks on the header, too! I felt the blog needed an update.

  2. Rachel @ Eggs In A Row #
    October 11, 2011

    Love the new design! Did you do it?

    I’m so good at making lists of things I’m worried will and won’t ever happen. Should we start a website about that in the meantime? Hang in there! xoxo

    • October 12, 2011

      Rachel, yes, lets start a worry site. Although, I worry so much that it could take all my time keeping the worry site updated and then I would worry that the rest of my worries were being neglected…

      Thanks on the design! I put the header together using the label I am doing my kitchen labels with. It seemed fitting!

  3. October 11, 2011

    Glad your period came! It’s funny how your perspective of your body changes during this process! I used to be so scared of getting pregnant, so relieved when my period came, used birth control meticulously, etc… now I realize that even if I hadn’t done all of that tracking I probably would not have gotten pregnant, and now I am hoping my periods come because it is a sign of me possibly being able to get pregnant (as opposed to a sign of not being pregnant).

    • October 12, 2011

      Lol, is that not the truth! I woke up this morning and was actually disappointed my flow was not heavier. Ridiculous!

  4. October 11, 2011

    Im sorry you feel so crappy! I hope you feel better soon.

  5. October 12, 2011

    Sorry your uterus is being so difficult. They never seem to work when we want them to regardless of what it is we want.

    I just read through your whole story and I can’t believe how much you have been through already. My heart goes out to you and I hope that this next cycle works out better for you.

    • October 12, 2011

      Trisha, thank you for your kind words. It’s been a pretty crappy ride but HOPEFULLY a baby will come out of it before I’m all dried up!

  6. October 12, 2011

    Love the new blog look!
    Saw your update.. SO glad the bitch is back! WOOHOO!!!!!!!!

    • October 12, 2011

      Leslie, the bitch is back and my new friend Instead is in place for the real test. 🙂

  7. Port of Indecision #
    October 12, 2011

    Mmmm, apple crisp…oh wait, sorry, what was that?

    Ovulating only once in a 12 month period? That is beyond frustrating 😦

    • October 12, 2011

      I can’t tell you how frustrated I am at this point. I want to drown my sadness in red wine and apple crisp. And that uterus pinata sounds pretty damn appealing right now.

  8. October 12, 2011

    I’m so sorry you’re feeling so crappy. I once busted up a piñata of a uterus and ovaries and it felt awesome. An idea?

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