First, thank you all for the sweet, supportive comments when I was throwing a completely unnecessary tantrum about my broken lady bits. I try to keep this stuff inside but sometimes it just has to come out and me thinks it is better to cry it out to the interwebs than to start pitching an audible fit from my office.
This week has been crazy at work. I have had conferences across the state, I have a YUUUUGE document to edit and I have to prepare a presentation, or three, for the conferences next week. This is not how I planned to rest up and care for the ovaries. That said, maybe they prefer to be ignored. Maybe they have stage fright with all the doting and cooing of late and just can’t, you know, get the follies up?
On Tuesday at 4:30 I went back to see Dr. Hope to have a WTF meeting. Here I learned that I had actually gotten my E2 levels reversed. My first E2 level last week was 79. Monday’s E2 was 67, meaning I’m growing a big’ole crop of nothing in my belly other than muffin top. After more rummaging through my lady bits than usual Dr. Hope gave me two choices: cancel the cycle and go back on birth control till IVF 1.0 in January, or up the meds and see if these crappy things I call ovaries can muster up an egg.
I am so freaking tired of shooting myself in the belly each night. I’m really tired of over analyzing every twinge, pull and ping in my belly. I’m even more tired of missing out on things I love like copious amounts of Pinot Noir. So you know what crazy Belle said?
“Let’s keep trying. I still have plenty of Gonal-F.”
Lately I’m really questioning my sanity. I go back for another scan on Monday at 4. If nothing is happening I’m done till January and am going to enjoy the finest glass (or three) of red wine my bank account permits (Two Buck Chuck).
Now it is time I turn 100% of my attention to this document. 65 pages of editing goodness. That should keep my mind off the ovaries for at least a few hours!