Last night I baked homemade pumpkin bread. Usually this entails three cups of sugar and an alarming cup of oil. Determined to at least make moderately healthy baked goods, I reduced the sugar to two cups and the oil to half a cup. I substituted plain yogurt for the rest of the oil and used 2/3 white wheat flour and 1/3 spelt four. The resulting bread was delicious, moist, delicately sweet and had a delightfully crispy crust. Mr. Husband gave it two forks up and asked for a second piece.
I also finished sewing myself a Christmas stocking. I’m just thrilled about the finished product. I photographed it hanging off my mantle with our little Thanksgiving decor. I love mixing seasons.
My little bro (who I affectionately call Hermano even though we are Scottish) is still in the hospital. His saga is long, drawn out and exhausting for all parties involved. Bottom line is they still don’t know what is wrong with him. The swelling in his colon has gone down and the bleeding stopped. He is able to eat and not vomit, but now his blood is all messed up and his platelets are down to 17 and his hemoglobin is way down. Late last night he got a transfer to the larger hospital in Manhattan where even more specialists can poke him, suck his blood and scan his body. I desperately want to be there, but am having a hard time leaving work and Mr. Husband. I know so many of you are fighting your own battles right now, but if you have a moment and an extra ounce of energy to muster, please send him some healing thoughts. Hermano and I are very close. I can’t bear to think of him in pain.
Today is something like day four post ovulation and I’m sad. I have been debating writing this for a while now, but didn’t out because I don’t want to hurt feelings. But this is my little space where I can come to escape and share the things that run through my mind. This is my safe room. And so I am sad because I am being lapped by my infertiles. The past four weeks have brought a wash of pregnancy announcements from so many of the blogs I follow. I rejoice with these woman and their accomplishments. Some have been through so much and fought for so many years. These positive tests are such a beautiful, inspiring thing to those of us still in the trenches.
These announcements are also reminders that I am lagging behind and that makes me sad. Hopefully when the progesterone fog clears I can muck my way through these emotions a little better and come out happy again. In the meantime, please don’t be offended if I comment a little less than usual. I’m still reading. I’m still incredibly happy for you and sending all kinds of good thoughts for healthy pregnancies. I am just having a hard time finding the words to express this happiness. I hope you understand.
I get occasional pinches and stabby feelings in my lower lady parts, but don’t know if it is a medication side effect, pregnancy sign or the fact that I have been massively constipated the past three days. (TMI again, I know) I have remedied the poo problems with a couple of shots of Milk of Magnesia last night *gag* but know it is only a temporary fix until this cycle ends. Otherwise, my bo.obies are a little sore and my nips are still angry. The shower damn near killed them today.