Last night I had a VERY vivid dream about having a baby (pushed it out after only 3 pushes so it was vivid, but unrealistic!) and then breastfeeding it. It was an amazing start to a dream but then it went down hill. In this dream I kept getting distracted by my old life and forgetting about the baby. I would drift off to have a glass of wine with an old girlfriend and then midway through remember, “Oh Shit! I have a baby!” and I’d go back to find the baby somewhere strange like sitting in the living room floor of my old apartment in Birmingham, looking all dejected and skinny. Dream Belle was a bad Mommy.
This dream inspires and scares me. Is the dream a sign that this is the month? Is dream me telling real me that I would be a bad mother? The rational me knows that neither are true while the irrational me wants to run to pee on a stick and then hide from the pregnancy, as surely I will be an unfit mother.
Today is CD40. This mornings’ HPT was negative.
I did some online reading to gauge the probability that I could still be pregnant this cycle. I triggered two weeks ago today, which puts actual ovulation sometime around the 5th or 6th of November. AmericanPregnancy.org says that implantation can take up to 12 days post ovulation, which would mean that implantation could still occur today.
According to Pee On A Stick.com it can take two to four days after implantation to receive a positive HPT. I guess this means that testing on Monday will give me the most accurate information. This seems like it is taking a lot longer than other positive HPTs I have read about. I have seen some women get them as early as 8 days past ovulation. All of this makes me wonder: how great are the chances that I am pregnant this late in the cycle?
As far as symptoms, I don’t have any other than a slew of pimples (boo, hiss) and bloating, and lord have mercy I’m bloated. My pants are tight, my face is a puffy and even the girls, who are normally barely there, are swollen. Nothing hurts, though, and my mind is surprisingly stable considering all the hell the family is going through right now.
So what do you all think? What has your experience been with early testing and early pregnancy symptoms?