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My Thanksgiving post is a day late so I would not jinx anything

11/25/2011

Belle

It turns out that keeping up with ICLW while surrounded by very chatty in-laws is near impossible! I say near because I WILL still leave the comments, they might just come during one landslide commenting session today and tomorrow!

I spent Thanksgiving 2010 in the emergency room with a terrible flair of lupus/uveitis. As Thanksgiving 2011 approached, I felt myself growing panicky about the anniversary of my sickness. While I know lupus does not keep a calendar, it does tend to strike during stressful times and holidays are about the pinnacle of stress. I have worked REALLY had during the past few weeks to keep my stress in check. I have tried so hard to be nice to myself, to not beat myself up over not being pregnant again, to overlook the fact that all my pants are tight from the 6 pounds I have gained (thanks PCOS), to breathe deeply when talking to annoying family and to let stressful situations at work pass me by.

For the most part, I kept everything in check. Sure I had bad anxiety days, but I also had some really good days. Mixed between the good and bad days were a lot of “meh” days, which after having months of OMGah AWFUL days, a slew of Meh days are pretty damn welcome. Yesterday morning I woke up at 5 a.m. and went to the bathroom to check my body. Does anything hurt? How is my vision? Are my pupils of equal size and responsive to light? Can I breath deeply and easily? Do my legs feel numb? Is my stomach upset?

My checklist goes on, but I won’t bore you. The only thing that was amiss was a slight headache from the super dark beer I had drank the night before. I was going to be ok.*Cue joyous music*

Mr. Husband and I prepared a feast for the in-laws yesterday. Mr. Husband made a turkey, I made my own seitan and a lush onion gravy to serve with both. We prepared vegan whole wheat stuffing, green beans with shallots in a white wine sauce, golden beets and cranberries roasted with savory and a vegan apple pie topped with a scoop of vanilla bean ice cream.

Mr. Husband also insisted on 24 crescent rolls prepared with a coating of honey, egg, butter and poppy-seeds. Realizing that he IS allowed to indulge in grossly over processed food at least once a year I caved and helped him pop open the cans of dough, nearly jumping out of of my skin each time one sprung open in my hands. Over the course of the evening he managed to put 10 of these rolls away in addition to all the other food. What I would not give for his metabolism!

I went to bed last night feeling satisfied. Not only with the meal and my health, but also with life as it stands right now. My life without a child is still really good. I am surrounded by people who love me regardless of my ability to produce an egg. I have an adorable little house with four wonderful cats. I have a husband who adores me even on those OMGah AWFUL days. I have hobbies and abilities that others do not. All in all, my life is pretty rich as it is right this moment. I can’t wait until my baby comes and makes life even more full, but until then I will enjoy every drop of what I have and try to not dwell on what is lacking.

What do you all do to stay focused on the good things that you have now rather than live a life of constant dissatisfaction?

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9 Comments

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  1. November 25, 2011

    Ohhh I wish I had an answer to that! I struggle to stay focused on the positive, which is sad for me sometimes because my life IS pretty great even without a baby. But I just keep focusing on what I don’t have. I really want to change that, I think it would make my life so much less stressful… I am so glad your 2011 Thanksgiving was so different from 2010 🙂

  2. November 25, 2011

    I love this: “I have hobbies and abilities that others do not. All in all, my life is pretty rich as it is right this moment. I can’t wait until my baby comes and makes life even more full, but until then I will enjoy every drop of what I have and try to not dwell on what is lacking.” Amazing post.

    What I do is two fold: I try to schedule something to look forward to. Sometimes this is simple, like a mani/pedi. Right now, it is my first vacation with DH in 6 years!

    The other is to read the new and blogs of others and realize that although each of our journeys is difficult, there are those dealing with much worse issues than I am. Cliche but true.

    Keep your chin up!

  3. November 26, 2011

    Great post! That is wonderful that you were able to enjoy Thanksgiving this year.

    I try to appreciate the little stuff–drinking coffee and wine while I still can, sleeping in, enjoying a leisurely day with my husband. Thanks for making me take a second to reflect on that!

  4. November 26, 2011

    Happy Thanksgiving, and I am so proud of you for finding that your life is rich just as it is. In answser to your question, we continue to do all the things we did before we started TTC- DIY projects, exercise, traveling, spedning precious moments together and with our family/ friends, and taking care of our dogs. Life is really good, a baby will just enhance it!

    hugs,
    Jenna

  5. November 26, 2011

    I’m so there too with the marathon commenting session to catch up!

    I narrow my focus to keep my thoughts on the good things. Sometimes I have to go as small as the page in the book I’m reading, because it’s awesome that I have leisure time to read the books I love so much. Sometimes I can widen it to appreciate that much of the happiness I have now is due to the unhappiness I had before. I just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other, no matter how easy or hard it gets.

  6. November 26, 2011

    Reading your post today came at really good time. I’m struggling today with staying positive and keeping a great outlook while dealing with loss and IF. Your post made me realize that I too have a good life and I need to keep focusing on that. So glad your health is still in tact and you had a good holiday!

    ICLW #105

  7. November 26, 2011

    It’s hard. I would say a combination of all the comments above. Enjoy the time you have now with Mr. Husband because when baby comes it will be harder to have that time alone. Also, enjoy the things we can do because we don’t have a baby yet. Oh and how about an award? Gave you one. Stop by to see the details. 🙂

  8. November 27, 2011

    Glad you had a good Thanksgiving. Our current vacation is helping a ton. just trying to live in the moment.

  9. November 28, 2011

    I’m back again to let you know I gave you a blog award. Check it out.

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