I can’t focus today. I feel lost, hopeless and alone. Not a nice way to feel during my favorite time of year (Christmas).
I called Dr. Hope yesterday to ask if he wants me on birth control during December until his IVF clinic opens in January. The nurse called back and said yes, she would call a prescription in. When I asked that she confirm his clinic WILL open at the beginning of January she dodged my question again saying, “Well, you know how things are. We hope it opens but we are waiting on contractors and paper work.”
I have been waiting for this clinic since its original open date in October. Then they pushed it till November, then January, and now I can’t get a clear answer if it will be open in January.
I feel so overwhelmed and hopeless about this entire situation right now. I’m mentally and financially ready to do this in January. Mr. Husband is preparing to graduate in May and is actively job hunting. This is the perfect time for us to have a child. Unfortunately, it’s not the right time for my doctor and that is upsetting me tremendously.
There is one other RE in town, but he is known to be very conservative in his treatment approach. His web site also states that most couples do not have eggs left after a cycle to freeze and does not tout success rates. The clinic in Louisville that has high success rates and a shared risk program is 90 minutes away, making it even more difficult to juggle with my work schedule.
I feel so stuck right now. Dr. Hope wants me to wait and work with him, but of course he does – he needs someone to pay his rent. The other Lexington doctor might not see the urgency behind getting me pregnant and does not tout any success rates. The Louisville doctor is so far away.
I have a consultation with the other Lexington doctor next Tuesday. Until then, I worry I will be stuck in this downward spiral of sad. It’s Christmas and everyone around me has babies. Where is my baby? Waiting on paper work and bureaucracy.