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I’m having an Exercism



Similar to an exorcism but with exercise.

Yesterdays bout of hopelessness and stress has led me down an all too familiar path – the exercism. During an exercism I work my body into exhaustion day in, day out so I can sleep peacefully. I channel all the negativity, anger, sadness and hate into one thing and one thing only – exercise. The burning I feel in my legs and arms is a reminder that I AM in control of something. Even when everything else is spinning out of orbit, I can keep my body moving.

I worked myself into a hot sweaty mess at spin this morning. By the end of the class the bike resistance was all the way up and damn if it did not feel good. Now my legs feel like Jello and remind me every step of the way that infertility has not killed me and ultimately it will only make me stronger in both the mental and physical sense. During todays lunch break I’ll go to my second gym* and work my upper body in much the same fashion – weight assist pull-ups anyone?

After this morning I feel better. Today I was able to make it through a work meeting without feeling lethargic. I met with my supervisor to discuss low performing sectors of the office. I am cranking out the first of what will become monthly internal newsletters this afternoon. I’m being productive and I attribute it all to blowing off so much negativity at 6:30 in the morning.

How do you exorcise your infertility demons?

* Yes, I have two gyms and I am VERY aware of how selfish and ridiculous this is. Hear me out, though; one gym  is RIGHT next to my office and the other is a 10 minute walk from my front door. Also, the memberships fall under the few perks of the university I work for and are very low-cost. And my gosh if I can’t have a baby at least let me have my gyms! 🙂



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  1. November 30, 2011

    Ahh! This image is making me crazy hahaha

    I like your exercism. I wish I liked exercising. Well, if we get a BFN this cycle I am going back to hot yoga for a little bit, which I really liked. I like sweating to the point where you can’t possibly get any sweatier, but without having the exertion of a workout like spinning. Also I might go on a sugar binge. No, I shouldn’t do that…

    • November 30, 2011

      I have not yet tried hot yoga. It is on my list, though. Maybe in the next few weeks I’ll give it a shot!

  2. November 30, 2011

    I’m pretty darn jealous, you have an extremely healthy way of getting out your negativity. Unfortunately, I tend to get mine out by whining to the Hub or shopping…. you think two gyms is unhealthy? Try paying the bills on my catalogue/online shopping problem. Luckily, I’m smart enough to know I can’t afford it and tend to send back 90% of what I ordered, but still. I really wish I was motivated enough to perform exercisms daily 🙂

    • November 30, 2011

      Izzy, I guess I was not completely honest, I have also been practicing retail therapy. I seem to have developed an extreme addiction to Urban Decay and Mac cosmetics and fancy professional hair coloring. Each time another month passes, I find myself drawn to things that make me feel more like a woman to compensate for my less-than-womanly reproductive system! So you are not alone…

  3. Rachel @ Eggs In A Row #
    November 30, 2011

    Belle: I’ve been shopping, too. has been coming by a lot. Oops.

    I’m all for exercising. I have 2 gyms as well. I’m obsessed with at least feeling good.

    Also….love spinning!

  4. November 30, 2011

    My healthy diversion is yoga. Shopping is becoming a bit of a problem, though. I have also been trying to buy my womanhood in the form of expensive clothes & makeup.

  5. November 30, 2011

    I used to do the exercism thing – hot yoga and spin, as pp mentioned. 🙂 Now, I stick to bad TV, wine, and cuddles with the hubby. I really am doing this backwards aren’t I? Aren’t I supposed to go from couch potato to fit supermodel?

  6. November 30, 2011

    Wow, I’m exhausted just reading about your 2 gyms! I go through phases. Shopping, eating and today you just motivated me to go to the gym. 🙂

  7. November 30, 2011

    Good for you! At least you’re doing something PRODUCTIVE and not stuffing your face with creme puffs to drown out the demons. I SO need to start doing yoga or something soon but just can’t seem to drag myself out the door.

  8. December 1, 2011

    Kickboxing!!! However, I rarely get to do that as my trainer is hard to pin down these days. Yoga is fantastic as well, but infertility can creep into my little head during yoga. Whereas kickboxing doesn’t let me stop to think much. I get the two gyms thing….I go to two as well so I can follow good yoga instructors.

  9. December 5, 2011

    I gave you an award on my blog. Check it out. 🙂

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