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If I can’t have a baby then I’ll become a runner



My race buddy, left, and myself, right. We are awesome, and yes, I'm wearing two hats.


Ten years ago my father got an invite to run a 5K with a group at his office. True to form, he said sure and showed up one cold morning and ran 3.1 miles having never run before. After this run he was hooked. Since then he has run countless 5 and 10k races, a handful of half and full marathons and, I believe, 10 ultra marathons on mountain terrain. My dad is a bad-ass and inspires me daily!

I have wanted to be a runner for years. People look like they are having so much fun at the crack of dawn running with groups of other runners. Lots of my friends are runners and I envy their hobby and the great body that comes with it. Despite all this, I have never become a runner. Running scares me. It hurts. It is sweaty. While seasoned runners look great taking a quick hour-long jaunt through the neighborhood, new runners look terrible. Red faced, wheezing people with midsections that jiggle with each labored step. I just can’t bring myself to do it.

For the past few weeks I have seen a 5K advertised benefiting the YMCA. All funds raised from the race will go to helping needy children attend summer camp. Having never been to summer camp myself, I find this to be a really noble cause. I hear great stories about camp and want all kids, especially those who may not always have the best role models, to have this chance. My spin buddy announced at Wednesday’s class that she would not be spinning on Friday because she was running a 5K on Saturday.

“Is it the one for the YMCA?” I asked.

“Yup. You should come!” she said.

“Oddly, I was considering it. I have never ran before, but my dad started out having never run either. Maybe I will…”

My friend urged me to sign up. It would be fun, she promised. And running is great! And I’m already in pretty good shape. I can totally do this.

So I registered that night, donating an additional $5 to a cause I feel good about.

Saturday morning I woke up, made some healthy Qunioa Muffins, cleaned my kitchen, dug out my warmest exercise clothing and then went to run my first 5K in 20 degree weather.

And y’all… I did it! And it did not completely suck. Actually, quite the contrary. It was hard, and I sure hurt the next day, but I finished the race and for the first time since infertility “happened” I felt in control of something. I accomplished a goal I have had for years.

I finished the race!


Granted, I did not run 100% of it, but I ran about 75%. And I finished 18th in my age group (out of 48 still fertile aged women) at 33 minutes and 9 seconds.  I even passed people while I was running, granted, a lot of them were MUCH older than I am, but I don’t care. The competitive woman in me got a kick out of every pair of sneakers I left in the dust.

And I’m proud of this.

Tell me, do you guys run? Any tips for the running newbie?



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  1. December 12, 2011

    Congratulations! I am so proud of you! Isn’t it great?! I ran my first 5K this summer and timed about the same as you. I had your Dad’s inspiring story in my mind as I ran..passing and being passed. From what I have heard from is all about the pacing. I did find it hard to pace myself with a crowd. I guess this is normal. Supposedly, once you get your natural pace and practice, practice, practice, you won’t feel the need to hurry when you hear the approaching runner. I think you have the best advice giver one phone call away 🙂 HUGS AND GOOD FOR YOU! xoxo
    P.S. I read that you should’t eat anything right after running either..for maybe an hour. Green juice or water with lemon is good to replenish.

    • December 13, 2011

      Thanks Faith! I think about my dad powering through races to keep me going, too. He is such an awesome guy!

      • December 13, 2011

        Awesome Guy!! YES!! Oh and as for my above post and saying I was “proud!” It’s not in the motherly,older cousin kind of way it’s in the “YOU’RE SO COOL FOR ACCOMPLISHING A MAJOR GOAL and YOU’RE AN INSPIRATION” kind of way! Love ya!

  2. robin #
    December 12, 2011

    Woohooo!!! Congratulations!! That is great! My dad is also really big into running marathons & triathalons. He used to have a website with tips but now I can’t find it – I think he stopped updating it. If I find it I will pass it on to you, he’s probably run about 30 marathons and also done a bunch of triathalons.

  3. December 12, 2011


  4. December 12, 2011

    Running has been my go to since all this infertility started. I started the couch to 5k iPhone app, and I was hooked ! It finally got me to a point where I didn’t look like crap and my head FINALLY ceased saying “stop! Can we stop?”. I have ONE workout to go , and Now I’m pregnant !!!!! I’m a new lover of running but may have to put my feet up now!!! I even snuck in runs mid ivf cycle 🙂

    • December 13, 2011

      Running will be there when you have your beautiful new baby. Also, I’m so excited for your pregnancy! *Big hugs* and I can’t wait to follow your new journey!

  5. December 12, 2011

    That’s a great time! Running helps keep me same through the infertility. It’s never too late to start!! Congrats!!

  6. December 12, 2011

    Congratulations, Belle. I myself am not a runner, though I can see that some days it would benefit me. I probably should take up running for extra cardio, but when I did try it, my shins hurt like heck.

    Good luck with your new hobby 🙂

    • December 13, 2011

      Dude, my shins hurt like crazy today, too! My runner friends say new shoes are in order. Might take care of that tomorrow afternoon!

  7. December 12, 2011

    I envy those who enjoy running. I HATE running with every fiber of my being. Congrats on the race and cheers to the new healthy hobby!

  8. December 12, 2011

    Congrats! What an achievement! Can I have the muffin recipe? (you see where my priorities are!) 🙂

    • December 13, 2011

      Muffin recipe posted!

  9. December 12, 2011

    Great job! I remember running my first 5k and how proud I felt. I used to be a runner…not so much anymore but a year or two ago I ran two half marathons, one full marathon and many 5ks. The crowd at the races and the support you get there is wonderful. I have switched over more now to yoga and classes offered at the gym but will hopefully get back into running soon. I have to say, when you have a running buddy it makes all the difference.

    I also have to say that reading your blog is so helpful to me…as I’m just starting my journey with Clomid in a few weeks, I also have that feeling of a lack of control. It can be super depressing.

    Finally, I’ve got one more question for you..your blog is going so well..are most of your followers people you already knew? If not, how were you so successful in getting this out to the public? I’m a bit of a newbie, and am not sure how to get the general public interested in a blog about my infertility! Thanks for the tips..much appreciated!

    Half marathon in your future??

    • December 13, 2011

      Hey Megan, I’m so glad you have found me! Yes, the lack of control is depressing. It is good that you recognize it this early in the game. It took me quite a few months of wondering if I was going crazy until I realized it was a control issue. I hope running continues to help. I also do yoga and enjoy it tremendously. I credit it with helping me manage my autoimmune fiascos.

      As for my blog, I have been really lucky to find some great women right off the bat. I didn’t read other blogs before starting my own, but quickly found a few well connected ones. Find the blogs you enjoy, leave the ladies feedback and keep in touch with them. I also did a round of ICommLeavWe in November which helped me find some more IFers to follow as a lot of the original bloggers have gotten BFP and their writing has taken a turn towards motherhood. I still love to read their stories, but missed the friendship of women still fighting for their baby. Poke through my list of good reads on the right and visit some of the folks who have commented recently. You’ll find a ton of women all fighting the same fight.

      Big hugs to you and I look forward to following your journey!

      • December 13, 2011

        Thank you so much for your quick feedback! I will definitely be trying all of your suggestions to connect more people with my IF blog and read new ones as well. Even though I’m in the beginning of my journey I already recognize how much better I feel when I talk about these issues in my blog and connect with others. Just talking to you is great! I also have autoimmune issues (Hashi’s) and a positive ANA titer for RA. I just went gluten free a few months ago and havent decided if it’s worth it or not!

        Finally, I really appreciate you following my journey as well! I look forward to your future posts! 🙂

  10. December 13, 2011

    Congratulations, Belle! I’m so proud of you, and you’re an inspiration to me. I start in the morning. Thank you!!

  11. December 13, 2011

    That is so exciting! Congrats! VERY inspiring!

  12. December 15, 2011

    Congratulations! You should be very proud of yourself because I am too!

  13. 2berrys #
    December 21, 2011

    Oh! Why did I not see this post earlier?! Congrats!!! Running is what has gotten me through infertility during the worst times. I missed it greatly when I had to stop during the IVF stims. I just started back up again and plan to run a race on new year’s eve. So glad to hear this! Keep it up!

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