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Putting it all in perspective



I have spent the past 30 minutes writing a long, drawn out post about not wanting to wait several months for an FET. Blah Blah Blah, poor me.

And then I decided to take a quick break and check up on my blog reader and I see a post about a former colleague and friend’s father, who is in the final stages of cancer and is not expected to make it till Christmas. Stuff like this really slams me back into reality. Things may be gloomy in Belle Land from time to time, but there is always an outright shit storm in somewhere else. Keeping this in mind can be hard when you are up to your ears in infertility, but is so important.

We are healthy, beautiful women with a long road ahead of us. While infertility is a terrible, horrible disease that can rob us of such simple pleasures, it is not the end. While we may feel so bleak and worthless at times, I think it is important to keep perspective. Today’s perspective is my friend’s father. If you have a bit of time today, please send some love and good thoughts to Alabama. I know she and her family need it way more than my silly little ute and messy ovaries.

With that in mind, let me re-write my post on today’s SHG:

Lord have mercy this is an uncomfortable procedure! My IUI’s were a piece of cake so I assumed this would be the same. I nearly jumped off the table when he put that catheter in and injected the saline. For those awaiting their SHG, it is super crampy and uncomfortable, but it is over REALLY quickly. On a pain scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the most unimaginable pain ever and 1 being a toe stub I would put my SHG at a good 4. Pretty crappy, would rather have stubbed my toe, but all-in-all totally do-able.

Dr. A was super pleased with the look of my ute. “Perfect” is how he described it. This is the first time a doctor has EVER described me as perfect. I should have asked for this in writing. I would have put it on my fridge. “Belle’s Ute is PERFECT!” It sounds so nice.

Then we got down to the business of discussing the IVF plan which, assuming my gigantically cysty ovaries don’t throw us a curve ball, is as follows:

Birth control from now till Jan. 24

Baseline ultrasound on CD1. If all is clear we will start stimulating with Gonal-F and use a Lupron trigger to prevent OHSS.

Tentative egg retrieval set for Feb. 10.

Embryos will be frozen until my next spontaneous period. This is where I get a little freaked out since I don’t have periods on my own but they assured me things will be fine.

Hopefully we can do the first FET in March or April.

Dr. A is really positive about all this. He feels that only doing FETs is the wave of the future and that they are just as, if not more, successful. It makes me feel better to know that he is so confident with this, but gosh I really just want to get this show on the road. Waiting till March or April to for my first transfer seems like an eternity.  Mr. Husband assures me that the next few months will pass by quickly, though. We have some travels planned for the holidays and then house guests in January and February.

So now I’ll spend the next month or so enjoying NOT being on stims. I will continue the Couch 25K program and yoga, I’ll continue to enjoy Pinot Noir and I’ll enjoy having non-baby making sex (yes, I went there) with my husband. Hopefully with a little work and a lot of perspective I can keep myself relaxed and in a good mindset for when stims do begin.

How do you all handle the down time between cycles? What do you do to keep from obsessing?



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  1. December 22, 2011

    That is so sad. I will be sending prayer to your friend’s family.
    Why do they not do a fresh transfer? Is there a reason or just preference?
    And as far as not obsessing during down time? If you figure out the trick let me know! =)

  2. December 22, 2011

    We can’t do a fresh transfer because of how badly I tend to hyper stimulate. The new doctor was alarmed by what happened last time on only 75 iu’s of Gonal-F. By doing a Lupron trigger we will avoid OHSS, but Lupron trigger can negatively affect your lining. He feels the best option for me is to dose the heck of of me with Gonal, grow a zillion eggies, freeze the embryos and then do FETs. He has done this before with good success. Hopefully I will add to his success stories!

    • December 23, 2011

      That makes sense, and my RE says That FET can be just as successful as fresh. I hope that’s the case! I hope that if they can make it through freezing and thawing they are strong little guys!! It’s so much easier and your body doesn’t feel like it’s been put through hell!

  3. December 22, 2011

    That is interesting, I would have thought that since they are doing an egg retrieval that they would do a fresh transfer. Is it just because then your body doesn’t have to go through all the hormones and you can follow your natural cycle?

    SHG’s are no fun but I found the HSG to be much much worse.

    And in answer to the obsessing question, I have no idea but I would also like to know! Hopefully March is the month for both of us!

    • December 22, 2011

      From what I understand it is 100% to avoid OHSS. I had it really bad with just 75 iu’s of meds last time. For IVF they like to use at least 150 iu’s meaning if I got OHSS again it could be life-threatening and that totally defeats the purpose of this 🙂

  4. December 22, 2011

    oooh. i hate SHG’s but my HSG… i thought i was gonna die. i have a pretty high tolerance for pain but due to issues with my ute it was excruciating.

    i know a woman with similar circumstances as you hyperstimulates on very low doses of meds and she ended up doing GET’s as well. she got her BFP on her second FET.


  5. December 22, 2011

    Happy ICLW

    I honestly have to try to stop myself from thinking about it when I notice myself obsessing. That, and I try to keep myself busy. It’s not easy. I can see how April can feel like an eternity – it would feel like eternity to me, too. Hope the time passes quickly for you.

  6. December 22, 2011

    Non baby making sex!!! It is the best! Enjoy the time off to be a couple again (instead of partners in baby making) 🙂 🙂

  7. December 23, 2011

    I’m so sorry to hear about your friend’s father. I hope the family is able to find some peace during this time. Saying good-bye is always hard.

    I’m glad that you got the green light! Very exciting. I’m also happy that you decided to move forward with Dr. A. Based on your description of him, he sounds like a great doctor and the protocol sounds perfect. Now go celebrate. A plan is in place, the wheels are in motion and change is in the air. And you and Mr. Husband are making it happen.

  8. December 23, 2011

    You are so right about perspective with all this. It can be a slippery slope of feeling bad about yourself and IF, but there is more out in the world than just IF.

    I am so exicited that you are going through with the FET. I have heard many success stories with it and it makes sense to go FET to avoid OHSS.

    As far as the obsessing….I totally obsess (even in dreams apparently) and drive hubs batty. Staying busy in all ways possible helps a little- blogging, yoga, cooking, going out, shopping. Good luck to you! It sounds like you are on the right track.

  9. December 23, 2011

    So, so sorry about your friend’s father. Yes, something like that really does help to put things in perspective, doesn’t it?
    My clinic did fresh transfers for me up until the last time, but assured me that FETs are equally successful. And my only frozen transfer is the one that seems to have worked. 🙂 Good luck with all you have coming up!
    And as far as how I deal between cycles…travel works great for me, and physical activity (hiking, etc.). And wine. Yum. I miss wine…

  10. December 23, 2011

    What helps me is trying to keep things as normal as possible. It is really hard especially with IVF to not get to wrapped up in each cycle.

    It seems like March and April are so far away but it sounds like your RE has your best interest in mind.

    Happy ICLW!

  11. December 23, 2011

    NON baby making sex?!? I don’t even remember what that’s like 😦 I’m jealous. I’m so happy for you though… you’re on the path. You’ve got a plan and this is going to happen for you. I’m crossing my fingers for the first time around. xoxo

  12. December 23, 2011

    My clinic has had some months where their successes with FET are even higher than fresh! And typically there they are within 5%. If your clinic has a good freezing process (which obv they do) then you are set! I had horrible OHSS too and was in the hospital for 6 days, and I swear I didn’t even want then to do the transfer (not that they would have). This way sounds safe and great. You will be pregnant in no time, and in the meantime – enjoy the non baby making sex!!!

    • January 4, 2012

      Oh I like this your clinics success with FET! Very encouraging, thanks for sharing!

  13. December 24, 2011

    it is good to keep perspective but i think in all fairness wen we are going through our struggles, even though someone elses may seem worse it in no way demeans or makes light of ur struggles. because at the end of the day ur struggles r urs and are still really hard, and mine are mine and just because its not the same doesnt make it less tough for the person going through it. does that make sense? anyway positive energy to u and ur fren’s family.

  14. December 26, 2011

    I have REALLY enjoyed having 2 months off from TTC and stims. Honestly, I thought I would go nuts waiting but it has been so nice to be needle free. I say enjoy it while you can! 🙂

    I start Lupron on Jan. 8th and I am all freaked out about starting shots again. Big hopes for your FET! Do you have to have a natural period for the FET? I never get AF on my own either…

  15. December 27, 2011

    Hi from ICLW! Good luck with this IVF! It is so exciting! I like all your relaxing plans…sounds good. I have an IVF advice post that combines other’s ideas as well if you want to check that out. (It’s in my favorite list). Also, I am having a giveaway that ends this week! Hope you had a wonderful holiday and a blessed 2012!!

  16. December 27, 2011

    Perspective is a blessing but you know what else is, too? Having a tentative calendar! Very excited for you to have plan in place. Come on, 2012!

  17. December 27, 2011

    Good luck on your plan! I truly wish you the best and lots of frozen embryos!

    To pass time, I just try to keep busy. Sometimes it is easy, others not so. Having something to do, do help.

  18. December 27, 2011

    hi for ICLW well if things go according to plan ill be doing my ivf in april so maybe we can be ivf buddies

    • January 4, 2012

      I do hope so! All this is pretty scary. Having company along the way would make it more bearable. Thanks for stopping by!

  19. January 2, 2012

    Enjoy the month of no needles! I am trying to find ways to pass the time until we meet with our RE to move forward with an IVF… your plan sounds wonderful to me and I may use it!

    I am also your sock buddy so please send me an email: ourlifeincycles at gmail dot com

    • January 4, 2012

      Sock buddies rule! I will email you this afternoon!

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