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A bald baby!? You better cover that up…

03/08/2012

Belle

I have been collecting some non photo posts for April since I really doubt you guys want to hear from me two times a day. One can only handle so much Belle in their reader! However, this lit a fire in me that cannot be contained.

First, let us review what sits upon the top of mine and the Mr.’s heads – not a whole lot! Naturally, I have fine mouse-brown hair that is becoming finer as I age. Currently I am fighting these bad hair genetics with dietary supplements and an arsenal of products (see yesterdays post!)  Mr. Husband also has fine brown hair that is migrating. As the hair abandons his head, it seems to be traveling down and taking new residence on his back. Delightful.

Our thin hair genetics continue as you comb through our family trees. Occasionally a kid will be born with lush hair that can only be attributed to genes brought into the families. Between the two of us, our child is doomed to come out bald and eventually grow a small crop of baby fine hair that refuses to do much of anything.

And we are ok with this. I’m sure that our sparkling personalities coupled with my dry wit and his way with numbers will yield a delightful little human, even if he or she is lacking up top.

So today I’m picking through the heap of blogs I follow and I see a link to this:

It's hard being a bald baby.

Now excuse my French but What The Fuck? We already raise girls to become women with serious self-image issues (see yesterdays post). It is bad enough that things like Toddlers & Tiaras exists to give toddler girls an early start at a self-image complex, but now we are telling our babies that they are imperfect if they don’t have enough hair during their first year of life? Seriously?

The Web site states, “At Baby Bangs, we believe in the beauty of childhood.” I call bullshit. I’m pretty sure the beauty of childhood is being able to run around bald with fat rolls and not care. What’s next? The Baby Thigh Master? Tired of those chunky baby legs keeping you out of your skinny jeans? Now the Baby Thigh Master will let your little one achieve that perfect physique they deserve!

I am proud that I was a bald baby. My mom might not feel the same way, but this blog is not about her. People often mistook me for a boy as I honestly did not have hair until about the age of three. What then sprouted on my head was a pretty sad attempt at a scalp covering and required daily coatings of sunscreen or a hat to protect my skin. But you know what? At no point did my mother feel compelled to put a wig on my bald baby head. Sure she would put a little bow on it to differentiate me from the boys, but never did she plop a toupee on my head.

Despite starting life as a baldy, I grew up to be OK. While I might wish I had thick flowing locks, I am incredibly thankful for what my body eventually did sprout on its own. Thin and mousey as my hair may be, it is who I am and I’m proud of that.

*Screenshot from http://www.baby-bangs.com

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14 Comments

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  1. EmHart #
    March 8, 2012

    There are no words. There are just no words. I had a similar reaction to you when I discovered these: http://www.divasharonsdivinevintage.com/HEELARIOUS-Her-First-High-Heels-
    What are we doing to our little girls?

  2. March 8, 2012

    This might be one of the most disturbing things I have ever seen! holy crap!

  3. March 8, 2012

    1) Post as many times as you want! I like reading!

    2) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…….. Wow. I was also a bald baby. My mom said I had a bowling ball head – perfectly round, perfectly smooth. This lasted for a really long time. I think I had whispy hair when I was 2, maybe, and I think around 3 my hair started growing. I am mostly mentally stable, and I don’t think any of my issues stemmed from not having hair when I was an infant.

  4. March 8, 2012

    I was completely bald as a baby. Then it grew in a bit and then all fell out! That is just how our family is. We were all bald and fat! I find it funny how no one had hair for a while and my mom and most aunts are all hairdressers! I personally love bald babies! My cousin’s baby mama has a full head of thick curly dark brown hair and their baby was born with the same thing. He is the only one in the family with hair LOL!

  5. March 8, 2012

    OMG! This is too much!!

    I do like the ending of your post…That’s the way to give yourself some LOVE..YOU GO GIRL! Mousy brown, thin hair and all. However, I do remember envying your amazing locks during your childhood. You had a braid that would laugh at baldness. Correct me if I am wrong but didn’t you get it combed and braided every night? I have a slight recollection of actually doing this for your mother…as the task was something an older cousin who could only DREAM of long hair would gladly take over.

    I am passing the link to baby bangs on to others…definitety one for Facebook! UNREAL!!

    Oh,and I agree with Emily. Bald babies are babyish…I have a hard time looking at newborns with full heads of hair…they look like old people..like really old, miniature versions of people. How about looking down after an extraordinary birth experience, at your newborn and seeing…GRANDPA??? WTF??

  6. March 8, 2012

    Ho-ly shit!! WTF?! This is as disturbing as those tv shows that I CANNOT understand why people even watch!!!!!!!!!!

  7. 35life #
    March 8, 2012

    I had peach fuzz for hair until age 3 when my mom could finally put a little clip in it! This is just wrong. Never would dream of something like this. Wow.

  8. March 8, 2012

    Hair that is migrating. I love it. See, you just made sitting at work when I’d rather be outside enjoying the sunny 65 degree day a little bit better.

    I love bald babies. Actually, I know someone who had a baby born with a FULL head of long black hair that never fell out. It was…well, it was.

    I, on the other hand, was born with ugly black hair an inch long that fell out slowly over the next few months. It was not pretty. I’m pretty sure one of these headbands could have done me some good. Then I would have looked a little more like an odd looking infant, and a little less like a miniature old man.

  9. March 8, 2012

    That’s just creepy. And the kind of stuff that only fertiles give a damn about.

  10. March 8, 2012

    Those things disturb me to no end…

  11. March 8, 2012

    As sad as this is I can’t say I am super surprised…what is happening to our world?? I have to say I have seen many babies born with lots of hair and have always secretly hoped for a bald baby 🙂

  12. Kat #
    March 8, 2012

    That’s…actually kind of hilarious. It almost seems like something you see on the Onion, like it can’t be real. Who the heck would buy this thing? I was a bald baby for a while, and apparently (I just found this out recently) I had hair on my back and my dad was all worried that I’d grow up to be a hairy-backed girl. But look at me now I’m totally normal! :-/ 😉

  13. March 8, 2012

    Correct me if I’m wrong, but if you put a fake fringe of bangs on a bald baby’s head, isn’t the look you achieve going to be reminiscent of a monk’s tonsure? And on a girl, that would make the whole thing even more creepy. Why? Why do people do these things? 🙂

  14. March 10, 2012

    OMG: there was a fake commercial on SNL once selling toupees for babies. Baby boys.

    I can’t believe this is for realz! Gross.

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