I sure do feel crazy today. All I can think about between random bouts of crying is having a baby. Turns out me and Ortho Tri-Cyclen don’t get along well.
During the past week I have been experiencing what I call THE RAGE. It must be in all caps because it is really that bad. I talked to my acupuncturist about it and when she stuck me in the ear and I jumped and said “Ouch!” she stepped away from the table and asked if THE RAGE was going to come get her. We dissolved in giggles and I was ok…. till I got home and found dirty dishes and then THE RAGE came back again.
It is this constant internal war between rational, fun, bubbly Belle and THE RAGE. I am always aware that THE RAGE is flaring but 100% incapable of stopping it. It’s a tough spot to be in. It is even tougher for poor Mr. Husband.
In case THE RAGE was not fun enough, yesterday my uterus decided to throw some crazy spotting into the mix. Nothing too alarming, just occasional bursts of gnarly old blood. I have officially resigned myself from buying any expensive panties until this delightful infertility journey is over. This morning I woke up with THE RAGE and decided an early morning visit to the gym would be good for my mental well-being and to keep me from killing my coworkers. Between dead lifts and weighted squats I felt a WHOOSH and then THE RAGE returned. “OMG! Does this have to happen mid workout?!” I yelled silently to myself. Off I ran to the bathroom, thankful that I wore dark shorts. And sure enough, there was a nice bright red disaster complete with uterine cramping.
Convinced my period was starting three weeks too early (I have to take continuous birth control till March 24 for my FET), I immediately fell apart. In my crazy little brain red spotting = period. Period = no FET. No FET = no baby ever. And no baby ever = messy cry-fest in the gym bathroom. Again I pulled myself together, washed up and then returned to my workout, vowing to call Dr. A when I got to work.
Dr. A’s nurse phoned back this afternoon explaining that this was normal considering the type of birth control I’m on and that it is just going to be a hassle for the next few weeks. If it was really bothering me, I could force the bleeding to stop by taking two birth control pills at a time for three days to settle things down. But, she warned me, this will put a lot of hormones in me at once and might make me feel a little crazy.
So, my questions for you all: Have you ever doubled your pills to control breakthrough bleeding? If so, how crazy is the crazy? Should Mr. Husband pack up shop and go stay somewhere else for the next three days? Or should I just buy stock in Instead Soft Cups and hunker down for the long haul? As always, your opinions are greatly appreciated!
My photo post will come this evening. THE RAGE prevented me from taking pictures this morning.