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March Photo Challenge: Day 9

03/09/2012

Belle

Prompt: Soft

About this photo:  I love “designer toilet paper.” You know, that kind that is so soft you could use it as bedding? I especially like the ultra soft type with a little lotion in it for me angry bum. I feel that luxuries like fancy TP are perfectly justifiable.

Shortly after moving in with Mr. Husband we went to Sam’s Club to stock up on essentials: paper towels, aluminum foil, frozen veggies, canned tomatoes and TP. Mr. Husband was still in the “woo the lady and make her stay” mindset so he did not bat an eye when I scooped up the most expensive bulk pack of TP they offered. “I love the TP with the bear on it,” I said while plopping the jumbo pack in the cart.

Life was good and bums were well-tended for the next 24 rolls until Mr. Husband made the next Sam’s Club run. This time he went alone and returned with the cheapest, most scratchy TP my bum has ever experienced. One morning I marched out of the bathroom with my bum all a-fire and confronted him on this a-bum-ination.

“What are you trying to do to me????” I demanded.

He looked up from his cereal, perplexed and fearful of this raging woman.

“This toilet paper! My God, man, it’s like sandpaper!”

He cracked up.”It was so much cheaper. That stuff with the bear on it is ridiculously expensive.”

“I’ll have you know that my bum’s health and well-being is worth every penny,” I said.

Mr. Husband assured me that this fallacy will never happen again and vowed to take me with him on the next Sam’s Club trip. Together, he said, we can find a TP that satisfies all our needs – soft yet affordable.

Eventually we compromised with the generic version of “the TP with the bear on it.” It is still not as soft as I would like, nor is it lightly lotioned, but it gets the job done with minimal chafing.

That said, I do still dream of the day when he is no longer a student and our income is such that I can again indulge in ridiculously expensive, super soft and lightly lotioned TP.

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12 Comments

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  1. March 9, 2012

    LOVE this picture!

  2. March 9, 2012

    This is just what happens at our house, except I’m the cheapskate and hubby loves the TP with the puppy, although the bears are good too.

    A-bum-ination! Priceless!!

    • March 9, 2012

      Thank you. I pride myself on my word creativity 🙂

  3. March 9, 2012

    I concur that those with tummy issues deserve TP with bears on it. Ha! That’s the one I use too! I’m sorry, and maybe this is TMI that I’ve learned to deal with it but I actually celebrate days when I can “go” easily! Well said!

    • March 9, 2012

      K. Smitty, you are preaching to the constipation choir! I am right there with you, but sadly with only the generic Bear….

  4. March 9, 2012

    We use the bear TP too, I am a TP snob. I justify it in that I swear it is so much more absorbent and I can use far fewer squares when peeing every hour.

    • March 9, 2012

      I’m shocked at how many of you use The Bear TP. I think I’m building a case for why I should get the real bear while Mr. Husband uses his generic bear… 🙂

  5. March 9, 2012

    OMG I LOVE the bear TP (no lotion though because it freaks me out to put ‘stuff’ on the girly bits). I just like the ultra soft variety! This pic cracked me up! xo

  6. March 10, 2012

    a-bum-ination= awesome!

    My Momalways used that cheap, thin, sandpaper stuff. I grew up with it so I never knew better until I met the Hubby. They didn’t get the bear kind, but some really soft Costco brand stuff. My bum was amazed! At home I still had to go with what my Mom wanted, but as soon as We moved into our own place we got the Costco stuff! It’s amazing how much just better TP helps! Love the pic!

  7. March 10, 2012

    Ha- LOVE the “a-bum-ination” play on words! Super cute post. Glad to hear all bums in your home are being well tended to. : )

  8. March 12, 2012

    We spare no expense for our bums in this household! Unless a guy has IBS, he generally is not aware of how important TP is. Women wipe way way way more often than guys, so it is so important to have quality paper!!

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