We turned in our consent form today. We will thaw one embryo at a time until there is one to transfer. There was not an option on the form to thaw two and transfer one.
I felt so good about our decision when I wrote yesterday. Today, though, I feel the cycle has already failed. For some reason yesterday’s interaction with Dr. A, and his sudden lack of confidence in his abilities, has left me with a really bad taste in my mouth. When we had our initial consultation with him he spoke so confidently about being able to “get me pregnant” and was so certain that FETs were the way to go in my case. I looked at his statistics then and was aware that they were not as good as other clinics. We ultimately chose his clinic, though, because of his confidence and attention to my tendency to hyper stimulate.
When we chose Dr. A we were certain we would transfer two embryos at a time. At this point I had not seen so many twin pregnancies fall apart after the 20th week. I was blissfully unaware of the complications of twins and the devastating effect they can have on a marriage. At that point I was one of the “Twins would be fun!” people. I was also naive in thinking that Mr. Husband would have a solid job offer by April.
Something about the look in Dr. A’s eyes yesterday made my heart stop, though. For the first time I felt intense doubt in his ability. I felt pushed to do two embryos not because it was best for me, but because it was best for his statistics. Revisiting his statistics I realized that there are gaping holes in the reporting of FET success rates. There are no stats on how many of those successes were singletons. No statistics on how many of these now pregnant or new mothers did IVF because of male factor or female factor. All I got was this:
Lots of juicy statistics on fresh transfers, but squat on FETs. And the FETs that were reported are not so awesome, either. Where is that 60% that I read elsewhere? And why the hell am I only able to find 2009 statistics when it is 2012?
I feel cheated and like this cycle is already a bust. I don’t want to feel this way but I don’t know how to shake it. I am considering transferring two, but first I have to get Mr. Husband’s consent and he is not on board. He is okay doing FET after FET and why shouldn’t he be? Cycles are easy for him – all he has to do is dodge the projectiles when his hormonal wife goes bat-shit crazy.