I have an amazing yoga teacher. Theresa keeps us moving while teaching us to slow down, breath and live “in the moment.” Often during class she will say, “Stay, Stay.” Stay, Stay serves as a reminder for us to stay in the moment. There is nothing you can do about the future or the past. If you spend your moments worrying about those, you will miss the present. Stay in the present.
I have come back to this concept many times during our struggle with infertility and the scary nights of uveitis. Today I’m drawing upon it to help me through the early weeks of “the P word.” Stay in the moment, don’t worry about the future or the past.
From what I understand I’m only four weeks P, and that is a flexible number until we can see what is going on in there. At this point there is nothing to do to save this pregnancy if things start going south. I’m already on progesterone 3x a day and two estrogen patches every other day. I’m taking my prenatal, my Omega’s and drinking an extra glass of soy milk a day. I’m taking leisurely walks and going to Stress Relief Yoga on Sunday.
This is all I can do. I can worry and fret about tomorrow and the what-ifs, but that will not change anything. Living in those worries will only make me miss today.
And do you know what today is? Today is 10 dpt5dt and I’m “the P word.” That, ladies, is beautiful and I’m relishing in the moment, trusting my doctor and trusting my body.
I have decided not to do the repeat Beta test on Monday since my doctor does not require it. If the number is not climbing properly there is nothing I can do but wait till the ultrasound. If I begin to lose the pregnancy, no amount of beta tests will save it. The only thing I can do right now is stay in the present and love every moment of it.
Last night I found myself feeling vom-tastic after eating dinner. I think it was all the garlic, or maybe the smoked salmon. Whatever it was it had me worrying I might have to pull over! Thankfully I kept it down. Smoked salmon is delicious going down, but I doubt its yumminess the second time around.
Today I feel a little queasy, am having some light cramping, my lower back hurts a bit and my thighs feel tired, if that makes sense. Honestly, I feel remarkably like my period is coming. I’m finding encouragement in the fact that this morning’s HPT was a little darker than yesterdays.
And finally, the jeans I’m wearing are miserably uncomfortable and pressing on my lower belly making everything even more uncomfortable. Bloating sucketh mucheth! I have to drive to Corbin, KY today, which means I’ll have about 3 hours in the car. I think I need to run by the house and change pants before I hit the road!
Thank you for all the encouragement over the last week. I have been slacking on responding to your comments and commenting on y’all’s blogs. I’ll play catch-up this weekend. Until then, enjoy every moment of your Friday!
*Photo taken last Sunday while I was visiting the Geese.