*A note just for Izzy so she does not have to do the math and since I’m still too scared to add a ticker 🙂 … today I’m 5 weeks 6 days.
I wrote yesterday’s post in the morning, when I typically feel my best and wittiest. By afternoon, though, I still felt good. By evening I was fine and had enough energy to make dinner and take another walk. I even stayed up reading till 10:30. GASP!
Cue massive freak-out.
I called Mr. Husband and, after an epic fight about things that I’m not ready to write about, I melted down about the lack of symptoms and how I am CERTAIN this is over. It was an ugly cry. So ugly that a box of tissues did not look strong enough to sustain it so I pulled a clean flannel pillowcase from the laundry pile and sobbed into it.
I did not POAS today. I figure if Pip disappeared in the last day or two there would still be too much HCG in my pee and I would get a false positive.
This morning I broke out my new prenatal workout DVD, thinking it would help me blow of some negative aggression. Instead I felt like a fraud and wanted to yell at Summer Sanders’ cute pregnant belly. The workout was shockingly challenging and a sad reminder of how out of shape I am. My muscles were exhausted afterwards and I fear for my glutes tomorrow.
Assuming everything is OK and I’m just over reacting, when do these freak-outs stop? Nuclear meltdowns like these are really hard on me, the husband and the cats (who looked terrified last night).
Now I’m sitting at work fighting back tears, peeling my nail polish (trashy) and worrying that it is over. Five more sleeps till ultrasound. Please let everything be OK.