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6 Weeks

05/10/2012

Belle

Today I am 6 weeks pregnant. Four more sleeps till my ultrasound. I’m beyond happy to be this far, and terrified by what could come.

Yesterday Ozi Frog pointed out that as members of the ALI community we learn too much. This, I think, is the dark side of our group. Not the tough decisions that come when it is time to change your blog from infertility to pregnancy/parenting; not the occasional times when a douche bag finds your blog and leaves a heartless comment; not the time that your good fortune brings sadness to another ALI member.

No, I believe the dark side of the ALI community is that during our fight we see so many others get shot down. I have seen babies lost at every stage of the game, even after viability is reached. I have seen babies born with terrible complications. I have seen women suffer through letting a baby go due to a rare and fatal complication.

I have slowly been sharing this blog with my fertile friends and, although they would never say this directly, they mention in passing that I should “buck up,” “be positive,” and, our favorite, “just relax.” I wish I could suck it up and spend every waking hour in pregnant bliss. Sadly, I just can’t. I know too much.

The price-tag for love and support from the ALI community is knowledge of the dangers that come with success.

If you are one of those people, shaking their head and thinking “tough love, Belle!” please be patient. I’ll come out of this funk in time. Pinky promise.

To all my readers who have been cheering me on despite these frightening ups and downs, thank you from the very bottom of my heart. I hope the next few weeks bring a flurry of positive posts from myself and you all.

*********************

That was a lot of heavy. Let’s move on to a  less serious topic. This morning I took my first belly pictures but I’m not ready to share them. Not because I am afraid of jinxing it, but because I’m afraid that if this pregnancy does not stick I’ll have to choose a new font for the next belly pictures and, honestly, I am in love with the font I chose! It is perfect for a Belle pregnancy so to the readers nipping at my heels for belly photos, you are going to have to wait a wee bit longer! (Cousin, I’m talking to you!)

What I noticed while editing the photos is that my belly has not grown but my ass sure has. Is it possible to have an ectopic in your ass cheek? Perhaps twin ectopics with one embryo per cheek? The growth of my posterior is alarming as generous badunkadunks run in the family. (Please, if Pip is a girl, do not let her inherit the Badunkadunk! Let her get Mr. Husband’s negative ass.)

Fortunately, I have Summer Sanders. This is my first pregnancy purchase along with some resistance bands. It arrived Tuesday evening and I was super pumped to break it out Wednesday morning. Let’s just say that today, Thursday, getting on and off the toilet is a challenge. I am fiercely aware of my glutes and quads. If I can rock this video three times a week for the next 8 months I might end up delivering with a better bod then I started this pregnancy with!

I decided to weigh myself today and was shocked to see the number has not changed since that first very faint pee stick. I believe the only logical reason for this is that about the time the ass fat moved in, some brain cells took a hike. It seems my current pregnant state has left me rather dumb. I keep forgetting important things like paying invoices at work (I got a stern “talkin’ to” about this yesterday), picking up our produce from the CSA(tragic – no rainbow chard for me tonight), refilling the cats water fountain and burning out the motor (poor monsters) and even walking to work and having a sudden, irrational panic arise – “DO I HAVE PANTS ON?”

Seriously! I’m about 5 minutes into my 55 minute walk this morning, reflecting on how unusually cool it is when massive panic hits and I think, “Is it cold because I DON’T HAVE PANTS ON?!” I glanced down and of course I have pants on. Had I been walking down the road sans pants for five minutes I’m pretty sure at least one, if not 100, perverts would have honked at me.

Other than ass fat, general stupidity, dry eyes/thirst, and a tendency to cry at the drop of a hat, I am experiencing no other pregnancy symptoms. Come on nausea! I have my barf bag ready and waiting!

Now it is time to get some work done and follow-up with my vendors to make sure I have not missed any other invoices. May you all have a good day that is free of new ass fat and full of high-functioning brain cells.

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18 Comments

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  1. May 10, 2012

    6 weeks is fantastic! And let me assure you that after about 7-8 weeks it really seems to fly as you have appointments so regularly until released to the OB. The 4-7 part was definitely the hardest – what the baby is now the size of some other seed??? It is nice when they become actual fruit :). I am going to have to look into summer sanders……I could use a nice toned ass to even out my baby bump (I am from a family of negative rear ends and let me tell you it is not necessarily an asset when your skirts tent out and you appear as though you didn’t make it to the bathroom on time when wearing dress pants!) Hopefully Pip gets something in between :).

    • May 10, 2012

      Lol! The grass IS always greener, isn’t it? An in between ass would definitely be ideal. 🙂

  2. May 10, 2012

    Thank you Belle. I so very much needed to laugh today, and you made it happen. Your letter to Ass Fat is priceless.

    As for your more serious topic…I KNOW. I didn’t understand when I was obsessively reading through hundreds of blogs when I first found this community that I was creating a small wound to be opened when I got pregnant. I love this community. I have gained so much from everyone here, and yet it has hurt me too, in ways I didn’t understand until now.

  3. May 10, 2012

    I agree that the downside of the community is too much info. There seems to be a woman who has lost a baby in every way possible at every stage possible who writes a blog and that I have found and READ. Too much knowledge floating around in this head.

    Good luck with the nausea, hope it shows up for you as I know it’s reassuring, but as someone who survived the beginning of pregnancy without it, I am now very thankful that I never had it!

  4. May 10, 2012

    I might be in trouble. I do pants checks now.

    I agree that the problem is knowing too much. I’m always happy to see people who are able to lock up the knowledge, even for a few minutes, and dare to entertain excitement and actual normalcy. It’s really encouraging to see.

  5. May 10, 2012

    I don’t know about your butt, but I have a big ass and I LOVE IT. It’s one of the things I have always loved about myself. Big boobs and big ass. I wish my waist were smaller but I love my ass. Ha! It helps I married a guy who loves boobs and butts. Because that’s what I have. Don’t feel bad about your growing butt! Also, your hips are going to get wider as you continue being pregnant, which may give you the impression that your butt is getting bigger but it’s your hips widening.

    Also, I agree about the TMI. I have a friend who got pregnant the first night they tried, and every time I talk to her I feel like I’m educating her… She wasn’t taking the right prenatals, she had never heard of ab separation, etc. I’m like … DON’T YOU GOOGLE EVERY FREAKING THING ABOUT BEING PREGNANT?!?! The answer is no, no she doesn’t, because she isn’t obsessed.

    • May 10, 2012

      Spreading hips will be good! I have a tiny little pelvis and can’t wait for it to open up some and convince me that yes, a baby CAN fit through there 🙂 I wish there was a pill we could take to stop obsessing during pregnancy… but that probably would not be pregnancy safe!

  6. May 10, 2012

    You are too funny, Belle. I think it’s great your honky-tonky-badonkadonk has stolen some brain cells, less to worry with!

  7. May 10, 2012

    Oh, I can so relate to this whole post! Even the font for the belly photos! I did belly photos last time around, so I’ll need a new font this time.

    And I tell someone (husband, friend, mom, etc) at least once a day how I wish I could be naive about pregnancy. Just be super happy and and optimistic. But unfortunately, I just can’t. And I feel robbed.

    Can’t wait to hear about your u/s in a couple days!

  8. May 10, 2012

    Even at 15 weeks it is still hard to read the BFN and M/C posts. I took a blogging break for a couple weeks when I would only read the blogs I comment on regularly. It was too hard to read about all the sad stuff when I knew I needed to be thinking positively. If you need a blogging break, please take one!

    And I’m sure your ass is fine. So fine you can forget to wear pants and everything is still awesome. 🙂

  9. May 10, 2012

    Hey belle good to hear you sound in a better place. I agree, it’s almost like I have a pregnancy app in my head with a timeline, saying “and here’s where d lost her baby, and here’s where mo lost nadav, and here’s where s lost sully…” as well as first trimester etc. mine is a combo of friends in real life, the ivf clinic discussion board, and blogs. You try to prepare yourself or something, but it doesn’t work!

    On a lighter note, Re the morning sickness, never had any. It’s not compulsory. I am envious of your aching glutes

    • May 10, 2012

      I was still talking, stupid iPhone app! I was recently denied permission to do a TAI CHI dvd. So jealous of yours Don’t go too hard on the exercise. Your body is working hard at other stuff (like a heart!) right now.

      Congrats on your pregnant ass. That’s cool. Pregnancy brain is awesome. You get to see how the stupid people live. buy more notepads, make lists. I reckon I’ve dropped 30 IQ points, but it’s pretty warm n fuzzy down here!

  10. May 10, 2012

    The thought of you walking down the street with no pants has me laughing to the point of tears. Let’s just hope the ass fat doesn’t siphon your sense of humor!

  11. Amber #
    May 10, 2012

    So true about the dark side of Ali….I often have wished I could erase what I know. Even worse, I am now in another group which reminds me of what to fear, mothers of multiples. It is so hard, but I make an effort to embrace my pregnancy and bond with my beans.
    Pregnancy brain is a real thing! I have done some doozies myself.

  12. May 10, 2012

    OMG you are hilarious 🙂 Thank you for the laugh – I needed it.

  13. May 10, 2012

    YAY for 6 weeks!! I totally laughed and snorted when I read “DO I HAVE PANTS ON?” I am glad you are feeling better.

  14. May 11, 2012

    This post cracks me up because when I was about 12 weeks, a lady at work told me that I wasn’t showing just yet, but I was “carrying the babies in my butt”. What?! Anyway, I can’t wait for your belly pics!

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