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No heartbeat

05/21/2012

Belle

There was no heartbeat. My baby is dead. I am going to get the drugs now to get it out of me and to have blood work done to find out if it was my fucked up body that killed it. I’ll write later.

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103 Comments

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  1. veetamia #
    May 21, 2012

    Oh Belle. I am SO so deeply sorry. I’d like to call you and tell you in real life. That you are not alone. That I feel your pain. I am so deeply sorry.

  2. May 21, 2012

    I’m sorry, Belle.

  3. May 21, 2012

    Oh Belle, I’m so very sorry.

  4. May 21, 2012

    Oh, shit, Belle. I’m so sorry.

  5. Lee #
    May 21, 2012

    Oh, Belle. I’m so sorry. Sending much love your way.

  6. May 21, 2012

    I am so so sorry to hear this. I can only imagine how you are feeling. Sending you lots of love. Be kind to yourself. Words fail, where only a hug would speak what I am feeling right now. My thoughts are with you. xxx

  7. SarahL #
    May 21, 2012

    Oh, no Belle. I’m so sorry.

  8. May 21, 2012

    Oh no…. this is terrible news. I’m so sorry. Take care of yourself.

  9. May 21, 2012

    Oh Belle, I’m so sorry. There are no words. Keeping you in my heart and in my thoughts.

  10. May 21, 2012

    I’m so sorry, Belle. Thinking of you.

  11. 1nJenifer #
    May 21, 2012

    Oh Belle. I am so sorry. No words.

  12. Deborah #
    May 21, 2012

    I wish there was something I could say to ease your pain. I am so incredibly sorry.

  13. May 21, 2012

    I’m so sorry.

  14. SouthernGal #
    May 21, 2012

    I am so very sorry. Thoughts, prayers and love surround you.

  15. May 21, 2012

    Fuck! Why must it be so freaking hard? I’m so so sorry Belle, many cyberhugs your way.

  16. meggola #
    May 21, 2012

    There are no words. I’m so sorry and just devastated for you. Many hugs to you.

  17. May 21, 2012

    Oh, Belle. I am so, so sorry. My heart missed a beat when I saw the title of your post. I’m keeping you in my thoughts.

  18. May 21, 2012

    I am so very sorry ((hugs))

  19. May 21, 2012

    I’m so so sorry!

  20. Pcosbarrenness #
    May 21, 2012

    So sorry. 😦 thinking of you.

  21. May 21, 2012

    *big hugs* I’m so sorry, Belle!

  22. May 21, 2012

    Oh Belle I am so sorry. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers and sending you love, Hugz and peace.

  23. May 21, 2012

    I am gutted for you Belle. This is awful, awful news, and I am so. very. sorry. Life is unbelievably unfair sometimes, and I wish it wasn’t so unfair to you, in this way, right now. I smother you with internet hugs, because I don’t know what else to do or say. [tear.]

  24. May 21, 2012

    Belle, there are no good things to say or do or think during this time. I am so sorry and I am sending you strength and love to make it through this awful time.

  25. Laura #
    May 21, 2012

    i love you beyond words lady. my heart is broken to pieces for you.

  26. May 21, 2012

    I am so, so, so sorry, beautiful Belle. I know there are no words that can ease this pain. But PLEASE take care of yourself. Allow yourself to grieve. Allow yourself to cry, bitch, moan, wail, sob. But also allow yourself to breathe.

    You will be in my thoughts ❀

  27. May 21, 2012

    Heartbroken for you. I’m so sad to hear of your loss. No right words for this.

  28. May 21, 2012

    So sorry, Belle. Sending so much love to you and yours.

  29. pegara #
    May 21, 2012

    I’m so sorry!! This is so fucking unfair!!! Hug

  30. May 21, 2012

    Belle, I am completely heartbroken to hear this news. I have no words for the sadness that exists in my being for you and Mr. Husband. I wish there was some way I could take this away from you. Please know that I am holding you in my heart, crying with you.

  31. May 21, 2012

    Just emailed you. I am so heartbroken to read this. I am so, so sorry for your loss.

  32. May 21, 2012

    Belle, there are no words to express my heart break for you and your husband. I am so so so sorry. Its not fair and I can’t imagine what you must be going through right now.

    May Pip rest in peace. Xoxo

  33. Patricia #
    May 21, 2012

    This breaks my heart, and just totally sucks, so sorry for you and your husband, keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers today.

  34. Jen #
    May 21, 2012

    I’m so very sorry, Belle.

    You and your precious Pip are in my thoughts. *hugs*

  35. Wife #
    May 21, 2012

    My heart is breaking for you. I’m so sorry

  36. 35life #
    May 21, 2012

    Belle, I am so incredibly sorry. When I saw your title in my email inbox, I just couldn’t believe it. So sorry.

  37. May 21, 2012

    I can hear the echo of your pain all the way down in Georgia, and I’m so very sorry, Belle. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Mr. Husband.

  38. JM #
    May 21, 2012

    What awful, awful news. I am so sorry you have to go through this. Thinking of you.

  39. May 21, 2012

    Much love Belle. This blows and I’m so sorry.

  40. Sar #
    May 21, 2012

    I am very, very sorry for your loss.

  41. May 21, 2012

    So sorry honey, so so sorry.

  42. May 21, 2012

    Oh no belle – I am so sorry, and I wish there were something I could say that would actually help. My heart goes out to you. I know we don’t know each other all that well, but if you need anything, please email me: theresajpowers at gmail dot com

  43. May 21, 2012

    Oh my goodness, I am so so sorry that this is happened. Sending so much love from Canada.

  44. tchrgrl05 #
    May 21, 2012

    saw the title of your blog in my email and was devastated for you. My heart dropped. I’m so, so sorry. Praying for you and your family.

  45. May 21, 2012

    I’m so so sorry Belle. My heart breaks for you and your husband! Sending you lots of thoughts xxx

  46. EmHart #
    May 21, 2012

    I am so very sorry Belle. So sorry. This is heartbreaking news.

  47. Monica #
    May 21, 2012

    I’m so sorry to hear your news. Will be keeping you in my prayers.

  48. May 21, 2012

    This is just not fucking fair. I am so very sorry.

  49. May 21, 2012

    Oh, Belle, I’m so sorry. (((HUGS)))

  50. May 21, 2012

    I am so very sorry for your loss. Huge hugs and prayers for you and your family.

  51. May 21, 2012

    I am so sorry to hear this. I am keeping you in my heart today, and sending virtual hugs your way. : (

  52. May 21, 2012

    I am so so so sorry belle. There are no words, you came so close and it’s not fair. I hope you get some answers.

  53. Shelley #
    May 21, 2012

    NO NO NO. It’s too awful. I am SO incredibly sorry for your loss, Belle.

  54. Life is Hard #
    May 21, 2012

    I’m so sorry….thinking of you

  55. May 21, 2012

    I’m so very sorry.
    My heart aches for you.
    Sending you tons of hugs and warm thoughts!

  56. Anna #
    May 21, 2012

    I’m so so sorry xxx

  57. May 21, 2012

    Belle, I’m heartbroken for you. I have no words. I am so very sorry 😦

  58. May 21, 2012

    Oh my gosh, Belle, I’m so sorry. I just checked in and was shocked to see your post.

    Thinking of you. ❀

  59. May 21, 2012

    I’m so so sorry. This really sucks. Take the time to grieve. Time is really the only thing that will make you feel better. Unfortunately, I know from personal experience.

  60. Amber #
    May 21, 2012

    I am so sorry, Belle. I will never understand why those of us who already struggle with fertility seem to find loss as part of the deal too. It’s just not fair! Bear HUGS!

  61. May 21, 2012

    So sorry for ur loss!!! Sending u hugs!!

  62. May 21, 2012

    Oh Belle, I don’t often comment on your blog, but have been following your journey closely. I am so so sorry and don’t understand why these things have to happen. Wishing you time to heal over these next few weeks/ months. Xoxo

  63. jak #
    May 21, 2012

    i dont know what to say except that i am so, so sorry.

  64. Jay #
    May 21, 2012

    I’m so very, very sorry Belle. I hope your doc is ordering a karyotyping on Pip done as well..because bloodwork in itself is not sufficient to figure out the genetics of baby vs uterus question.

    Take care of yourself, and be kind to yourself in this completely horrible, effed up time. Thinking of you.

  65. Wordgirl #
    May 21, 2012

    I am here in the upper-midwest and wanted you to know I am thinking of you. I always hate how insignificant words are in these times…but couldn’t click away without your knowing that I had been here, that I too add my voice here in supporting you.

  66. ozifrog #
    May 21, 2012

    Hey belle, love to you and pip and your family. Don’t blame yourself, or your body, you have shown you can do this, further than ever before. The Loss of Pip is unspeakable. Wishing you grace in being with this news, sending virtual hugs, ice cream and chocolate. Xx

  67. May 21, 2012

    My heart hurts for you, sweet girl. I am so so sorry.

  68. May 21, 2012

    I am so sorry, Belle, my deepest condolences to you and pip and your family. I am just so sorry.

  69. hapahopes #
    May 21, 2012

    Oh sweet Belle. I wish I could take your pain away. I am so very sorry.

  70. May 21, 2012

    Oh Belle, I feel sick to my stomach for you right now. I am so so sorry. I wish I could take away this pain for you somehow, I know it is not an easy cross to bear. You are in my heart sweet girl.

  71. May 21, 2012

    Belle, I know there are no words that can make it better now. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. So very sorry…

  72. Sometimes #
    May 21, 2012

    Belle, I am so sorry this is happening. I know there is nothing that can be said to make your pain any less or your anger easier to swallow. Know that you are surrounded by women who are thinking of you and will help you in any way you ask.

  73. Kat #
    May 21, 2012

    Belle, I’m so so so sorry. You’re in my prayers tonight. Take care of yourself. I’m so sorry.

  74. May 21, 2012

    I am so truly sorry to hear this. I will keep you in my thoughts.

  75. May 21, 2012

    I’m so, so sorry. I’ve been there (was there just a month ago) and it really fucking sucks. Be kind to yourself and grieve however, and for however long, you want to. Hugs.

  76. May 21, 2012

    This just sucks. And there is nothing your body did- it’s just crappy luck. I know it’s hard to believe that, but I’ve been there (over and over), and you HAVE to know it’s not your fault.

  77. May 21, 2012

    So sorry, Belle.

  78. Jo. #
    May 21, 2012

    There are no words, Belle. I am so very, very sorry for your loss.

  79. May 21, 2012

    just sitting here quietly thinking of you and Mr. Husband. love to you Belle.

  80. May 21, 2012

    I am so, so sorry to hear this. I’m abiding with you.

  81. Alissa/MissConception #
    May 21, 2012

    Oh Belle, I am sorry. I heard about what happened from Cristy and it just breaks my heart. This is what we all fear because it does happen. I only wish it didn’t have to happen to you too. Words cannot express my condolences. Peace and love to you and your family.

  82. Evelyn #
    May 21, 2012

    I’m so sorry.

  83. May 21, 2012

    I am so sorry. 😦

  84. May 21, 2012

    I am so sorry! I also went through this in January; it was devastating! Big hugs to you.

  85. Jenn #
    May 21, 2012

    Sending hugs, I’m so sorry.

  86. Jen #
    May 21, 2012

    Oh no! Belle, I am so very sorry for you. I cannot imagine what you must be going through. 😦

  87. May 22, 2012

    No words to express how sorry I am to hear this. So much sadness. Hugs a million times over.

  88. staciet #
    May 22, 2012

    So very sorry. 😦

  89. May 22, 2012

    Oh. I can only imagine the hell you are going through right now. I am so truly sorry. x

  90. May 22, 2012

    I’m so ridiculously sorry. 😦

  91. Kirsten #
    May 22, 2012

    Belle, I’m visiting from Mo’s blog.
    So very sad to hear your news.
    Kia kaha.

  92. May 22, 2012

    I’m so incredibly sorry, Belle. My heart is with you.

  93. May 22, 2012

    I am so sorry. This is just incredibly sad and unfair. Lots of hugs and warm thoughts to you.

  94. May 22, 2012

    Noooo. This can’t be right. 😦 Ugh. I’m soo beyond sorry. I’m so mad this is happening. Sending you love and hugs.

  95. May 22, 2012

    My very deepest sympathy. I know the pain of this too well. Please know you are not alone. I’m so sorry.

  96. Aplatanada #
    May 22, 2012

    Oh no. I’m so, so sorry for your loss. My heart breaks for you.

  97. May 23, 2012

    So very, very sorry for your loss…

  98. May 30, 2012

    There are no words, Belle. . . Much love and strength to you xoxo

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