First, I am overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support. I promise to respond to you all in the coming days. Right now I’m enjoying an extra-large vegan date bar, a delicious Chicago beer and my sweet husband who dropped everything, rented a car and raced home yesterday morning.
I took another dose of Misoprostol this morning, this time orally because when I went to insert them vaginally I discovered the four from the day before had never dissolved. I took the second dose by mouth at 9:40 a.m. and by 2:30 nothing happened. I checked my cervix and found that it had dilated which FREAKED me out. It felt like a one of those soft little mini donuts that you buy in a 6 pack… in my lady parts! I don’t think I’ll be able to eat a mini donut again for a long, long time. I called my doctor and begged to be worked in tomorrow. He agreed and when I went by to sign consent forms he said never, in all his years practicing, has someone not responded to the drug. Again, I get to be the exception to the rule. This is getting old.
My D&C is scheduled for 6 a.m. tomorrow morning, which I know seems terribly early to most but is actually very agreeable for me. I am an early riser naturally and am happy to have this over and done with well before lunch. I will be having genetic testing done on the remains to help us determine what went wrong. I need as many facts as possible so we can improve next time.
I am a flurry of emotions right now. Sometimes I’m relieved and numb, other times I’m sobbing uncontrollably and others I’m hitting something (like the steering wheel from which I now have a VERY sore arm). I hope once this is out I can move on, reassess and process what happened. In the meantime, I refuse to call this a baby – it was not. It was a clump of cells that failed to get it all together. My Person In Progress lost his directions and was not able to complete assembly.Right now I’m happy with this thought and I’m ready to move on. I reserve the right to change my mind tomorrow, though.
Thank you again for all the love and support. Responses coming in a few days as I sort all this out.
Belle, Mr. Husband and our Four Large Fries