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Run Away



Several months ago Mr. Husband and I booked an anniversary vacation. Tuesday is our second wedding anniversary and, honestly, it’s been a ROUGH two years. This week things got even worse when our first good news in years was  yanked away.

I considered canceling the trip. It was only $300 for the hotel but all the food, Pinot Noir, and activity fees would really add up. We should be saving that money to pay for our next FET. If we canceled the trip, though, we would have to stay here and be reminded daily of what we lost. The fridge looks empty without the ultrasound photos on it. The little room upstairs that is waiting for a baby is a miserable reminder that we don’t have to remodel it anytime soon. While the four Large Fries (our four big cats) meow and lay in our laps, they constantly fail to fill the void in our hearts.

We need to get away.

So in a few hours, after I dig out some “fat & bloated” clothes, clean some litter boxes and shower for the first time in days, we’ll head out to Ashville, NC for a long weekend. Neither of us have been to Ashville and we are looking forward to the escape.

Even though we can’t have sexy time thanks to this crappy D&C, we can have snuggling time. We can drink wine till we are silly. We can hike to waterfalls. We can simply be together and hopefully start to heal in preparation to move on, because we will try again. And again. And again until we have a take-home baby. Come hell or high water, Mr. Husband and I will not leave this world with only a pile of cats to serve as heir to my Wal-Mart Corelle dishes, our Ikea furniture and Mr. Husband’s impressive collection of knock-off Harbor Freight tools.



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  1. May 25, 2012

    Despite the cost, I think that a quick vacation is exactly what you guys need right now. I hope that you have a wonderful time!

  2. May 25, 2012

    Sounds like a PLAN. DH and I did something similar after our m/c in 2010. Enjoy yourself.

  3. tchrgrl05 #
    May 25, 2012

    Good for you, getting away. Take time to heal and wear loose sundresses :). Praying for you

  4. meggola #
    May 25, 2012

    The money will be well spent! Enjoy your trip. I think it sounds like a fantastic idea and I’m glad you’re going ahead with it.

  5. Jen #
    May 25, 2012

    I’m glad you’re going on your anniversary getaway. I know that one can never run away from pain entirely, but I hope this at least gives you a little bit of distance from it.


  6. 35life #
    May 25, 2012

    I’m so glad to hear you’re getting away. We booked our first real, week-long trip since our honeymoon five years ago, and it’s what is getting us through while we wait to decide what’s next. I know what you mean about putting the money elsewhere but I think you’ll be glad you got away for a bit. Enjoy!

  7. May 25, 2012

    I hope the mountain getaway is just what the two of you need to begin to feel happy again. Asheville is beautiful… enjoy yourselves. BTW- The Biltmore and it’s gardens/winery are worth the price tag, if you have the time.

  8. May 25, 2012

    I hope the mountain getaway is just what the two of you need to begin to feel happy again. Asheville is beautiful… enjoy yourselves. BTW- The Biltmore and its gardens/winery are worth the price tag, if you have the time.

  9. May 25, 2012

    This trip sounds like the much-deserved break you need. Enjoy and celebrate each other, and have a happy anniversary!

  10. May 25, 2012

    ENJOY! Eat, drink and be merry!! I love my Corelle dishes (tho mine came from Amazon,so they must be the fine China edition)

  11. May 25, 2012

    Getting out of town is a great idea. I hope your time away is healing and relaxing. Thinking of you

  12. May 25, 2012

    I think its exactly what you need get away, chill, enjoy each other and then come back and refocus on what the next move is xx

  13. May 25, 2012

    Its been such a terrible week this week for you Belle, and a few others I follow. I am so sorry, but this post made me LOL! I hope you enjoy your time away, get good and liquored up and come back ready to begin again. You both need this trip and you’re wise to take it.

    Regarding bloat from the D&C your body is adjusting to not being pregnant anymore. While you are thinking WTF?, your body is basically saying the same thing. It will take another 3 or 4 days to subside.

    Enjoy your time away!

  14. May 25, 2012

    Excellent idea and Asheville is wonderful! If you’re still experimenting with a gluten-free diet, definitely go to Posana’s – it has excellent people watching and everything is GF. Tons of great restaurants there, actually. Excellent trails and views. One of our favorite getaway spots, actually. Enjoy!!

    • May 25, 2012

      ugh, did I just actually say actually twice in one comment? yuck.

  15. Mel #
    May 25, 2012

    This is just what you need! It sounds lovely…and maybe you will come back feeling healed and refreshed and ready to try again. I am proud of you for never giving up! Good for you!!! Because if we don’t try, we’ll never know, will we?

  16. May 25, 2012

    getaway/runaway sounds fantastic. And timing is as good as it will get, before the drugs and the costs of FET. It will be great to just reconnect and do nothing. You will absolutely come away with a baby. You have gotten further than ever before and I am sure your body now knows what it wants. Enjoy your time away, you deserve it.

  17. May 25, 2012

    Hey Belle- i have been following along and am so very sorry for your loss. I am glad you are going to NC- when I had a m/c after Cullen’s death we went ahead with a trip to Disney and it was SO good for me. I was able to disconnect and really ‘live in another world’ for a few days.
    I am thinking of you and I love your determination. Come hell or high water. You go girl. XO

  18. SouthernGal #
    May 25, 2012

    You haven’t approved me as a commenter yet, and that’s okay – but I just want to say Asheville is a wonderful place. I hope you enjoy your stay there – it is lovely, there are lots of neat restaurants, the waterfalls (try up around Highlands or Cashiers) are beautiful and breathtaking. Thinking of you – I know this is not the easier time to plan on having a “good time” (HAH) but I hope your trip will bring you renewal and peace. Oh, and check out Malaprop’s Book Store/Cafe!!!

  19. May 25, 2012

    My partner and I went to the central coast of California after our first loss. I think beaches and mountains have restorative properties. Your getaway sounds idyllic.

    • SouthernGal #
      May 25, 2012

      Oh, and check out The Laughing Seed – my vegetarian daughter’s favorite restaurant!!!

  20. May 25, 2012

    What unfortunately fortuitous timing… I hope this is a healing and restful trip, for you both and your relationship. ❤

  21. Amber #
    May 25, 2012

    I am so happy you are getting away! Going out of town was the BEST thing we did after our loss. It gave us time to reconnect and remind us who we were before TTC. I hope you find it relaxing and rejuvinating!

  22. 1nJenifer #
    May 25, 2012

    Have fun sweet Belle! I wish I could join you for some Pinot myself. xo

  23. Deborah #
    May 25, 2012

    I’m so glad to hear you and your husband are treating yourselves to going away. I hear Asheville is absolutely wonderful. Imbibe and enjoy!

  24. May 25, 2012

    Have a wonderful getaway! I am so happy you are taking the time for yourselves.

  25. May 26, 2012

    Definitely! A get-away sounds like a great idea. We had a trip to England planned for Christmas with Hubby’s family the day after my D&C. It was horrible in one way b/c it obviously put a LARGE damper on Christmas, and a lot of me wanted to just wallow and wail in my pajamas on my own couch. But being somewhere else and having things to do was really good for me. It didn’t make the pain disappear, but it was a helpful distraction.

    And I know the subject of this post isn’t too sunny, but I have to say your last paragraph made me laugh out loud! 🙂

  26. Denise #
    May 26, 2012

    I just found your blog- strangely enough I was in Asheville for work for 6 days until yesterday when I returned to CA. I don’t know you at all but if we were in Asheville at the same time- I might have tried to meet you and your husband for a drink to commiserate the shittiness that IF is. I lost an unexpected pregnancy last month at 13 weeks pregnant. It was unexpected because we weren’t supposed to be able to conceive without science- I have a 2.5 year old by IVF that was a pretty bad cycle. The D and C was done the day before my birthday. It was awesome (sarcasm.) I had genetic analysis done and it was a trisomy- supposedly usually linked to mom’s age (me, turned 37 the day after D and C.) Yay me (sarcasm again.) Hang in there… I truly hope for a positive outcome for you in all senses of the word.

  27. May 28, 2012

    Oh, I hear Asheville is beautiful! I hope this times proves to be restorative to you and gives you peace and renewed hope. I know the aftermath of a loss is impossibly painful, but I so admire your determination to try again for your happy ending. You deserve it. Thinking of you!

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