Skip to content

Picture Picture: a birthday party

Two weeks ago I photographed the birthday of a 4 year-old girl. I don’t know what I was thinking – I did this post-transfer, pre-BFN. The birthday girl is the daughter of one of my former coworkers. I have photographed her beautiful family of four before and always enjoy my time with them. Why not photograph a party?

It was hard. All these lovely children dancing together with reckless abandon. The complete disregard for how the world perceives them is one of the things I love most about children. They are truly free spirits not yet aware of what their observers think. “So what if my hair is a mess while I thrash madly to a song about fairies!” I love it.

When asked how I knew the birthday girl I joked, “Oh, her mom and I used to work together. I don’t have children so I’ve become that weird woman who photographs my friend’s children for fun.” Everyone laughed.

Why did I say that? Could I not just have said I’m a friend of the family and occasionally take photos for them? Did I have to belittle myself with the label “weird” and did I have to draw attention to my not having children? Why?

The photos I ended up with are not my best and it is obvious my mind was somewhere else. They are, however, a good lesson for me in what I can and can’t handle at this point in my life. I can handle taking photos. I cannot handle taking photos of other people’s children. Maybe sometime in the future, but not right now.

Advertisements

13 Comments

Post a comment
  1. K.Smitty #
    September 18, 2012

    As always, your photos are incredible, and your emotions are justified. Im sorry youre having a tough time. 😦 Sending hugs!

  2. September 18, 2012

    I think you did a great job!

    Your response to other people at the party reminds me of the Sex in the City episode where I think Miranda goes to a party with mainly married women. She makes a single joke right off the bat, but then there is a discussion later on about why she felt the need to humor others with her relationship status.

  3. September 18, 2012

    I think the pictures are beautiful too. And I completely understand your feelings about being the “Weird” one without kids. Hopefully you won’t be the “weird” one for much longer.

    PS- I decided not to POAS yesterday like I pledged. I had my beta this morning so I will get my results tomorrow….

  4. September 18, 2012

    Hugs lady 😦 If nothing else, the photos are beautiful! I especially love the last one with all the silly faces-truly captures the essence of those children.

  5. Juno #
    September 18, 2012

    The pictures are great and a testament to how strong you are. I’ve been the “picture taker” at 2 baby showers. It sucks.

  6. September 18, 2012

    If these photos are not your best, I can’t wait to see what really is because I think they’re fabulous.

  7. Katie T. #
    September 18, 2012

    I can relate to the “why did I say that?” I know its not the same at all, but I do this kinda self-depreciating thing at wedding receptions during the “toss the bouquet” part. When your the only single one left of your friends, the “single girls” are you plus the bride’s four middle-school age cousins– that’s awkward. And then I feel I have to make the “I hope your 8 year old cousin doesn’t catch it or I”m in trouble!” joke. And then I get pissed off. Because if it wasn’t obvious to everyone there that I am single when I sat at the reject table with your weird uncle Ben, I’m glad after you have your love affirming 1st dance to my favorite Dave Mathews song, I’m now required to shake it to Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” with a handful of 13 year olds.

    Anyway, that’s a long way of saying I think we make jokes about ourselves because we think other people are uncomfortable with our life and we owe it to them to be funny about it. So I’ve decided (1) probably no one is feeling awkward in the first place and I’m just projecting and (2) I don’t owe them a joke if it makes me feel shitty.

  8. jak #
    September 18, 2012

    wow – for ‘not doing your best’, i think you did great. the one before the candles are blown out – you caught a really concerned expression on the birthday kid’s friend’s face. priceless.

    what kind of camera do you use?

  9. B #
    September 18, 2012

    Oh wow, I completely understand what you are feeling. I’ve stopped going to my friends children’s birthdays. I think it’s okay to give yourself a break. I think we try to be so strong for ourselves and our partners that we forget to take care of ourselves. We try so hard to keep our heads up high and act like yeah I’m the girl who is infertile and I can handle it. It’s okay to be honest with yourself and not handle it. It’s okay to want to photograph children right now. I give you all the props in the world for doing it.

  10. September 18, 2012

    Oh wow, I completely understand what you are feeling. I’ve stopped going to my friends children’s birthdays. I think it’s okay to give yourself a break. I think we try to be so strong for ourselves and our partners that we forget to take care of ourselves. We try so hard to keep our heads up high and act like yeah I’m the girl who is infertile and I can handle it. It’s okay to be honest with yourself and not handle it. It’s okay to want to photograph children right now. I give you all the props in the world for doing it.

    • September 18, 2012

      I meant photograph children

      • September 18, 2012

        Ok my mind is playing tricks on me…I meant NOT photograph children. I feel like that guy in Swingers who leaves 20 messages on the girls machine…sorry brain fart!!

  11. September 18, 2012

    On the contrary Belle, I think your photos are beautiful

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: