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6dp5dt – Houston, we have a squinter

10/16/2012

Belle

All y’all fertiles out there who know me in real life – STEP AWAY from the cell phone and delete that celebratory email you just started typing. What is happening on the HPTs requires a good bit of squinting meaning we shall not celebrate, throw confetti,  plague me with early a.m. phone calls or blow my phone up with texts. Thankyouverymuch.

Last night (oh yes, I’ve been peeing on expensive things twice a day) the HPT looked blank at first glance. Being the obsessive good infertile I am, I exchanged my old contacts for new glasses (through which I can see like a 60 year-old woman vs. my contacts that make it more like I’m a 70 year-old woman) and then held the HPT up to my good eye (ole’ lefty) for closer inspection. Yup, there was a hair of a squinter. I’m talking so squinty it would not have shown up on a photograph.

“Hey, Professor, do you see a squinter?” I asked as I handed him a freshly peed on pee stick.

“Belle… should you be peeing on things yet?”

“Uhhhh, I’ve been peeing on things for days. Oh, and I’m peeing on expensive things so be prepared for the rash of Target purchases on the next credit card statement.”

“Heh, I do see a squinter… Neato!”

“Let’s not get too excited,” I reminded.

“Let’s not,” he agreed.

We then spent an hour on the couch in giddy, awkward silence. OHMYGAH! SQUINTER!

As I went to bed I said goodnight to my husband, the purring bundle of fur at my feet and my embryos.

This morning we have a slightly darker squinter that shows up on camera, but I’m not quite brave enough to post photos of squinters so I’ll hold out a bit more.

Hugs and kisses tiny babies. Please stick around for, like, the rest of my life.

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67 Comments

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  1. October 16, 2012

    Keeping everything crossed xxx

    • October 16, 2012

      Thank you, friend! How are you doing? I have not seen a post from you in quite a while. I’ve been thinking about you.

  2. SRB #
    October 16, 2012

    Duuuuuuuuude. Omg! Are you peeing on things today! I’m all jittery now…omg! 🙂

  3. October 16, 2012

    Aw I’ve been following you for a little while now and although you don’t want excitement, my heart got a little squeeze when I saw your post! Looking forward to photos! Us hardened infertiles enjoy looking at squinters you know! xxx

    • October 16, 2012

      Lol! Don’t worry, squinter photos will come as soon as I’m sure the line is darkening. You know, us hardened infertiles also have a fear of jinxing things 🙂

  4. Kelly #
    October 16, 2012

    Eep! Pleasegetdarker….pleasegetdarker….pleasegetdarker! Praying for you Belle!

  5. ozifrog #
    October 16, 2012

    Hooray for squinters! Hang in there!

  6. Shelley #
    October 16, 2012

    I am quietly squeeing over here (err, that maybe sounded gross… basically I’m excited for you) and keeping my everythings crossed for you!

    • October 16, 2012

      Hahaha omg I almost peed myself when I read this!

    • October 16, 2012

      Ha! Quietly squeeing does sound sort of gross 🙂 Thank you for the crossed fingers!

  7. infertilitycansuckit #
    October 16, 2012

    Oh my goodness! Squinters are how all my pregnancies have started out…crossed fingers for you and darker lines in the days to come!!

  8. October 16, 2012

    Woo-hoo!!! Stick around, baby(ies) – there are lots of people rooting for you out here.

  9. Juno #
    October 16, 2012

    Ok, so aside from me being knocked up, this is like the best news ever. Oh Belle. I hope, I hope, I hope!

  10. October 16, 2012

    Omg. A squinter that’s less squinty the next day?!? Very good sign… That’s all I’ll say for now. 🙂 Still crossing everything!

  11. October 16, 2012

    Oooooh, sounds very promising! Those expensive tests may have been a wise investment! 🙂

    • October 16, 2012

      Ha! I sure hope so 🙂 I bought a 3 pack of those buggers at CVS adn they were $18 bucks! Target sells the same three pack for $12. Insanity I tell ya.

  12. October 16, 2012

    Yay! Sending good vibes your way!!!

  13. ivfmale #
    October 16, 2012

    Exciting news!!M

  14. October 16, 2012

    Fingers crossed tight for you. You are tempting me to test!

    • October 16, 2012

      Do it! Peeeeee! (I’m a terrible influence.)

  15. erika #
    October 16, 2012

    😀

  16. October 16, 2012

    Belle!!!!!!! Aaaaaah!!!! Omg a squinter! Yay!!!!!! Please get darker and please hang in there! Omg what if it’s twins like everyone else lately?! Eeeek I’m so excited for you!

    • October 16, 2012

      Oh the T word TERRIFIES ME! seriously though, the upside to twins is that each cat would have a human. 🙂

  17. October 16, 2012

    i wasn’t going to say the “T” word, but since the previous commenter already did….i’m putting in my guess now for twins 🙂 that’s super early to get a line, i had nothing but stark whiteness until 8dp5dt. woohooo, i’m very excited and very hopeful for you!

  18. October 16, 2012

    Eeek! I can’t wait until you’re comfortable posting pics! I bet by tonight it will be nice and non-squinty. I like the caution you and the Professor reacted with – the ‘giddy silence’ as you called it. I know exactly what you mean. Been there, done that. I still feel hesitant to celebrate! lol Fingers are firmly crossed (as always) and I can’t wait to see/hear about more tests! 🙂

  19. October 16, 2012

    A line is a line! I know you’ve been here before, but try to enjoy it! This is very promising!

    • October 16, 2012

      It is HARD to enjoy. I’m so scared of a repeat. However, I’m in a much better place right now – I feel better, I’m taking better care of myself, the husband has a job (albeit temporary) and the cats are finally peaceful. Surely all of this adds up to a better end result?

      • Courtney #
        October 16, 2012

        Yes it SHOULD 😉

        I totally understand. I am going to POAS tomorrow (I know – I said I’d wait until Friday) and I KNOW that even if it’s positive, that I’ve been there before with a positive test and an empty sac (and D&C). I can hand out all the advice in the world, but I won’t follow it myself!

        But I think we should BOTH try to enjoy it 🙂

  20. millionbabysteps #
    October 16, 2012

    Stick stick stick!!!! It is time :).

  21. whatrhymeswithinfertile #
    October 16, 2012

    YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am sososososososo happy for you guys. You are making me want to go for the FET this month!

  22. Amy #
    October 16, 2012

    Stick and grow, embryo(s)!!!

  23. October 16, 2012

    OMG!!! So hoping for that squinter to get darker so there’s no question about it!

  24. October 16, 2012

    Oooo!!! So excited to hear about the squinter showing up… sending lots of good mojo your way toward that line continuing to darken & having a healthy, viable little babe in there. Super promising that a line is ALREADY showing up. Fingers crossed- will be following your updates closely!

  25. Vanessa #
    October 16, 2012

    GAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! Omg this is perfect timing! And so exciting! PLEASE post a pic for us all to squint at with gleeeeeeeeee 🙂

  26. October 16, 2012

    Yippee! A squinter!!!!

  27. Mel #
    October 16, 2012

    OMGoodness!!!!!!!! Please please please stay little one(s). I am so excited fingers and toes crossed for us all to get our summer 2013 babies

  28. October 16, 2012

    rooting for you with every fiber of my being!

  29. October 16, 2012

    Yes! This is a great start! Darker! Darker! I’m hoping for a full open eye line very soon!

  30. karaleen #
    October 16, 2012

    Gah!!! Giddy!!!! I am sooooo very excited about the squinter…but I will keep it all silent and internal until the picture proof is posted. I always had better afternoon pee sticks than FMU pee sticks and always got my first BFP’s in the afternoon….so YAY!!!!!! (said in a whisper but with a big smile).

  31. 35life #
    October 16, 2012

    Going to make a cautious squinty face for you all day! And cross my fingers, although that makes it harder to type, so maybe toes instead. 🙂

  32. October 16, 2012

    Belle! Great news! I love squinters. Stick little bean(s), stick!

  33. October 16, 2012

    Que excitement!! Hoping for you and the Professor, Belle. Really, really hoping.

  34. October 16, 2012

    EKKKKK!!! I’m going to hold my excitement!! I have everything crossed for you!

  35. The Benda Family #
    October 16, 2012

    Heehee. I had a feeling this would be it. 😀 x

  36. Jen #
    October 16, 2012

    AGGGHHHGHGHGH! Fingers and toes crossed that this is IT!

  37. October 16, 2012

    Well I’m getting excited anyway – YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!

  38. marwil #
    October 16, 2012

    This sounds really promising! Fingers crossed that this is it!!

  39. October 16, 2012

    Yay!! It’s getting darker, that’s awesome! Can’t wait to see those pics!

  40. October 16, 2012

    Yay for the squinter! I’m praying that the squinter becomes a take home baby!!! xoxo

  41. October 16, 2012

    I didn’t want to post this yesterday, but mine was blank on 10 and a squinter on 11. Fingers super crossed!

  42. Juno #
    October 16, 2012

    Have I ever told you that both my dog and moms cats reacted to me differently when I got my bfp’s? Have your cats been odd or super clingy?

    • October 16, 2012

      Lol! Our cats are ALWAYS odd and super clingy 🙂 However, this morning Yum Yum, who is most in tune with me, actually sat in my lap downstairs which was WEIRD, weird, weird behavior. I am sure she was just cold but…. what if she knows her days as the apple of my eye are numbered!

  43. Ginny #
    October 16, 2012

    YAY!!!!!!!!!! This is early for any kind of line, so OMG!!!!!! Please, please, please be it!!!

  44. October 16, 2012

    Fingers and toes crossed!!!

  45. October 16, 2012

    They all start as squinters! FX for you, dear Belle.

  46. October 16, 2012

    I can’t wait until you’re feeling brave enough to post pictures of your squinters so I can squint along..!!! Although hopefully soon we won’t need squinting! Sending sticky, happy thoughts!!!!

  47. jak #
    October 16, 2012

    fingers crossedddddddddddd.

  48. October 16, 2012

    Ohh, good wishes and hopes coming your way>

  49. October 16, 2012

    Yay! Darken line, darken!

  50. October 16, 2012

    Good luck to you!!! We are all rooting for you.

  51. October 16, 2012

    Cautiously optimistic for you, Belle! Stick around, little embie(s)!

  52. Lisa #
    October 16, 2012

    I just stumbled upon your blog tonight and am loving reading through it! Thank you for sharing your story and reminding me that others are walking this same, difficult path. I’m 32 y/o and my hubby and I have been TTC over 4 years now. We’ve been through 5 miscarriages, 4 IUIs, and 2 IVFs. Our most recent IVF was a FET this past Friday, so we are in the midst of the dreaded 2WW too. 😦 But it made me smile to read about the conversation between you and your hubby about not getting too excited. My husband and I had a similar conversation this morning when I was feeling sick to my stomach. It’s WAY too early for morning sickness, but we can’t help but feel a little excited that it just MIGHT have worked this time. Sending prayers and good wishes your way!

  53. October 16, 2012

    Wooooooo hooooooo! Yay for squinters!!!! Keeping all appendages crossed for you.

  54. October 16, 2012

    Squinters!!!! AHHH! Go Belle’s ute!

  55. Mo #
    October 16, 2012

    Yaaaaay!!!!! Keep on squinting! Goooo embies!

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