Ass. Butt. Caboose. Bum. Fanny. Duff. Booty. Badonakadonk. Tush. Coolie Buns*. Trunk. Pooper. Patootie. Money Maker.
Or my personal favorite: Rump.
I had a horrific revelation yesterday while walking from the parking lot to my office, wincing in pain as my rump wiggled with every step – if this pregnancy sticks around I will have 10 more weeks of progesterone injections.
You guys (I’m trying to stop saying “y’all” after The Professor made a fuss about how bad it sounds), my little rump-shaker already hurts and features an array of bruises, all in varying hues of blue and yellow. I can’t imagine what it will feel like after 10 more weeks of this. Don’t get me wrong, I am more than happy to do the injections in return for my take-home baby but oh my lord it hurts!
The actual injection is not that bad. Uncomfortable but over in 30 seconds. The day after, though…
I have tried all kinds of things:
- I warm the injection site with a heating pad before.
- I warm the PIO before drawing it into the syringe.
- I bite a pillow during the shot to keep from yelping and making the Professor jump while the needle is in my butt.
- I warm the injection site after the shot.
- I move around after the shot.
- I have taken the shot laying down and standing up. (Standing up I tense up too much. Last night my butt muscle tensed as soon as the needle went in and actually pushed it out some. It was disturbing feeling and, I have been told, disturbing looking.)
- I have tried massaging the site 20 minutes after injection per my clinics instruction but it’s sort of hard to massage your own butt, you know? Any pointers on self-butt massage? (Oh boy my search terms are going to be exciting after this one.)
- I wear compression shorts when I’m going to be moving around a lot which helps quite a bit but I can’t always wear them.
All the gripes aside, I still prefer the injections over the endometrium and the disaster it left in my panties. I also get a real kick out of only paying $150 for two weeks of medication vs. $500. One shot a day vs. suppositories three times a day is also better and the injections give the Professor a chance to have a real role in this process.
They still hurt like the dickens, though. How have the ladies who’ve made it to the other side done with the PIO shots? Please tell me that my ass will go numb in a few more days or that all the pain I currently feel in my rump will make labor seem like a breeze (hahahahaha, right Belle).
* The Professor insists that I am the only one who knows what “Coolie Buns” are. Please tell me other people are familiar with this term, or is my family just that strange?
It is EARLY Saturday morning. I was in bed and asleep by 8 last night. This cold is kicking my ass. At 4 a.m. I was awake because my neck was killing me from sleeping on all the pillows for my nose. Blech. Rather than lay in bed and moan at the cat I got up and made breakfast and a cup of green tea.
I DID NOT PEE ON A STICK. One of my commentors yesterday left me this quote, “If you get caught up in the worst case scenario and it doesn’t happen, you’ve wasted your time. And if you are caught up in the worst case scenario and it does happen, you’ve lived it twice.” -Michael J. Fox
It really, really struck a chord. I’m only living the hell twice if the worst happens. So I am not peeing. I promise. I sure hope I can stick with this. Please let my baby stay.