I wish I could say the PIO shots were getting easier or that my ass was now numb from nerve damage, but it is not. I think I’m building up some scar tissue now because some injection sites are tougher than others to get the needle in. The Professor pokes around and tries to find a soft spot, but sometimes it is no use – the entire outer upper quadrants of my cheeks are now hard, lumpy and, shockingly, visibly swollen. It’s gnarly.
That said, the shots are over quickly and I’m learning how to alter my gait to minimize the painful cheek wiggle. I am looking forward to Tuesday’s ultrasound and the discussion of how we will start weening me off these bad boys in the coming weeks. Hopefully the end is near. Preferably an end that includes a take home baby in 8 months.
Last night I flopped on the bed with my ice pack to numb my rump and the Professor set to work preparing the injection. We have a system where he states what he is doing and I repeat the step. This keeps us from missing vital steps like cleaning the top of the vial or aspirating before injecting.
Professor: “Cleaning the top of the vial.”
Belle: “Clean that vial!”
Professor: “Removing the 21 gauge needle and putting on the 20 gauge needle.”
Belle: “Big ass needle on.”
Professor: “Drawing the dose. 2 CCs.”
Belle: “Ugh, 2 CCs still seems like a lot.”
Professor: “Removing the 20 gauge needle and putting the 21 gauge needle back on.”
Belle: “Thank gawd. Don’t poke me in the ass with a 20 gauger.”
It was here that I got distracted by a giant clump of cat fur that floated over the bedroom floor and started an internal dialogue that completely tuned the Professor out. “Ugh. I should vacuum more,” I thought. “But I’m pregnant. I think vacuuming is bad for pregnancy… If vacuuming is bad for pregnancy then you probably should not be doing yoga in the morning. Awe snap.”
Professor: “Hey, are you listening? I’m swabbing the injection site.”
Belle: “Yeah, I’m totally paying attention. You wipe my ass buddy.”
Professor: “Ok, injecting on the count of three. One. Two. Three.”
In goes the needle.
Belle: “Good stick today! Barely felt it!”
Professor: “No blood…..(terribly long pause)…… Fuck.”
Fuck is the one word you do not want to hear when someone has a 1.5 inch 21 gauge needle shoved in your ass.
Professor: “I forgot the gauze.”
And then he did the WORST THING YOU CAN DO when injecting someone in the ass. He looked away. Behind him. And he moved the needle around. Quite a bit.
Belle: “Just do the damn injection. DO NOT TRY TO REACH GAUZE RIGHT NOW!”
But the damage was done. The Professor’s eyes returned to my butt and he commenced to inject. Thankfully the pain was minimal, until he took the needle out. You know what that little bit of needle wiggling did? It hit some blood vessels and when the needle came out we had a blood bath.
Belle: “Oh gross. The blood runneth over my butt cheek.”
Professor: “FUCK FUCK FUCK. I think I’m ruining your shirt… And your underwear.”
Belle: “HAHAHAHAHAHAAHA! Just get some damn gauze, man!
The moral of the story for those receiving the PIO shot: Do not zone out while your husband is preparing the injection.
The moral of the story for those giving the PIO shot: NEVER look away from the needle.
Despite the blood bath, I’m pleased to report that there is no real bruising this morning. I only hope all the oil did not rush out with the blood. I think this is pretty unlikely, though, as the oil was way down in my rump and 2 ccs of PIO is quite a bit. I’m sure I have plenty to spare floating around in my body.
Has anyone else hit a vein while getting or giving a PIO injection? Gnarly, isn’t it?