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I’m exhausted so this will be brief. The Central Baptist Emergency Room did an excellent workup. There was one baby “birdie” measuring 6 weeks 2 days, I am 6 weeks 3 days. My HCG was 57,000 which is right smack in the middle of normal. The ultrasound tech could not tell me anything while she did the scan, but she did look me in the eyes, smile gently and then turn on the speakers and I heard, for the first time ever, a heart beat. And I cried and cried and cried. 120 – perfect.

There is a hematoma behind where the placenta is developing which could explain the bleeding. They don’t know why I was having the sharp stabbing pains in my rectum and uterine area. (for the record I have not been experiencing constipation the past few days nor have I had a straining bowl movement).

I know I’m not at all out of the woods – this is exactly how the loss of Pip started to the day and almost to the hour, which is scary. With Pip we also confirmed heartbeat after the bleed and I still lost my baby a few days later. This time, though, I did not deal with crappy doctors, I went straight to the hospital where I knew I would get good tender loving care. All the staff was gentle, encouraging and not one said I had over reacted. My ER doctor called Dr. B who was also very understanding. I’ll still see Dr. B at 10 tomorrow morning.

Thank you all for all the comments and emails. I read them over and over when crying and felt warmth from all over knowing that you were keeping the three of us in your thoughts. I’ll write more tomorrow. For now, I’m going to have a slice of vegan gluten-free apple pie which is not surprisingly not very good (!!) and zone out to some bad TV with the sweet Professor.



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  1. Lee #
    November 5, 2012

    Thank goodness. And who would possibly think you were over reacting? You were being responsible. I am so happy to hear the news.

  2. November 5, 2012

    Oh Belle… this is good news. I can’t imagine how scary this has to be… terrifying that it feels like your Pip and is happening at the same time as his passing and in the same month. Know that so many of us are thinking about you and wishing we could give you lots and lots of hugs! Praying that this little one is perfectly content to stay right there in your homey uterus

  3. WTW #
    November 5, 2012

    So so so glad to read that your little peanut is OK. What a scary day you’ve had. Here’s to an uneventful rest of your pregnancy! Take care of yourself.

  4. November 5, 2012

    Sigh. Of. Relief. So glad to hear baby is okay!

  5. November 5, 2012

    YAAAAAAY keep growing little baby!!!

  6. meggola #
    November 5, 2012

    I’m so glad you had good care and got to see baby and hear the heartbeat! I had a hematoma (I spotted and bled for the first several weeks) as well and everything turned out okay, and I’ve seen it turn out fine for a lot of other women with them too. This could be a dumb question, but have you talked to your RE/OB about the constipation? I know it’s a chronic thing for you, but it would be good for them to know about it. Take it easy tonight and enjoy the bad TV!

  7. November 5, 2012

    I’m so glad to hear everythings okay and you heard the heartbeat!! Hopefully the rest of your pregnancy will go smoothly and be very uneventful!! Glad to hear that they took good care of you! 🙂

  8. November 5, 2012

    Fingers crossed!

  9. November 5, 2012

    I am so happy to hear good news! I know you are not out of the woods, but I am seriously hoping beyond all hope that it’s just the hematoma and that everything else will be ok.

  10. November 5, 2012

    I am so happy to hear this good news!! Take care and get some much needed rest.

  11. November 5, 2012

    Oh Belle, I was hoping it was just that, a hematoma! you have a heartbeat – hold on to that! thinking of you!!

  12. November 5, 2012

    I’m happy to hear that little heart a beating. I understand where you are coming from, it’s so hard not to compare this to Pip. There is nothing like that scare, when you feel everything is coming back from before. But I do hope with every bit of me, that you are going to be proven wrong. I hope more then anything that this is your sweet baby you take home.

  13. D #
    November 5, 2012

    Such great news! Hang in there. Hopefully the hematoma wil resolve itself quickly.

  14. November 5, 2012

    Oh my goodness, Belle. I’ve been obsessively checking WordPress for an update, and while this doesn’t mean you are out of the woods, this is still good news! I am so, so glad that I found you on here, and I am just hoping and praying for you and your family.

  15. November 5, 2012

    Everything is fine and will stay that way, ok? Ok.

  16. November 5, 2012

    So happy to read this update! I’m pulling for you and your little birdie! XO

  17. Kristy #
    November 5, 2012

    Oh my gosh, I’m so glad everything is ok!

  18. November 5, 2012

    Yaaaay! Sigh of relief. Everything is fine, I can feel it.

  19. November 5, 2012

    Oh what a relief! I’m thinking of the three of you and hoping for a fast and smooth next few months- til you are able to relax and embrace this pregnancy.

  20. November 5, 2012

    Sitting at my work desk, trying to eat my salad, with big fat tears coming down. I am SO relieved for you and pleased with the care you got. Keep going strong bubba! 🙂

  21. November 5, 2012

    I’m so glad everything is ok. I’ve been thinking about you.

  22. November 5, 2012

    So relieved for you. Still praying all is well… ❤

  23. Ginny #
    November 5, 2012

    Oh good, I was really worried about you and baby, and so glad to hear that there is a little beating heart in there!! Come on baby bird, hang on in there!!! Thank you so much for this update, now I can sleep better tonight…..xo

  24. Patricia #
    November 5, 2012

    So glad that everything was ok!!! I’ve been thinking and praying for you all this afternoon/evening!!! Everything needs to be smooth sailing from here, no more drama! 🙂

  25. Jen #
    November 5, 2012

    Thank God! I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. Sounds like you did the right thing by going into the ER. Thinking of you and your baby bird and hoping it’s all smooth sailing at your appointment tomorrow!

  26. Lee #
    November 5, 2012

    SHEW!! Go baby go!!!

  27. theyellowblanket #
    November 5, 2012

    Whew! I’ve been thinking of you all day. I’m glad you got some good news! Stick around, little Birdie!

  28. Nonsequiturchica #
    November 5, 2012

    I AM SO GLAD THAT THIS IS A GOOD UPDATE! I know that you are still worried, but take solace in the fact that you have another dr appt tomorrow. And I’m happy that the Professor is there to comfort you tonight.

  29. babyfeat #
    November 5, 2012

    Oh Belle, what very good news and I’m so glad you had compassionate people watching over you at the hospital. The three of you, have a wonderful, loving, relaxing night tonight and every night.

  30. November 5, 2012

    Oh Belle, I am so praying for you all. I can completely imagine how you are feeling right now. Just hang on and love that little embryo to death. I know this has all happened before and it will feel like deja vu, but it can be okay. Sending lots of hugs.

  31. November 5, 2012

    Hang in there Belle. Fingers crossed for an outcome thats positive tomorrow. Sending you virtual hugs. 🙂

  32. November 5, 2012

    I’m so glad that the ER took care of you so well! I have had awful ER experiences so it is nice to hear a good one. I know what a scary time this is for you but I am SO happy that everything looked good today. Take a deep breath and get through one day at a time. Xoxo

  33. SRB #
    November 5, 2012

    Hand on my heart! I’ve been checking all day…glad to hear this news. Will be sending you love every chance I get. Xoxo 🙂

  34. November 5, 2012

    OMG I read your two posts at the same time… I am so relieved that there was a heartbeat, even though I know you’re not out of the woods. Hang in there, little embryo!!!

  35. Suck It #
    November 5, 2012

    Many many many prayers coming your way. Thinking of all three of you and hoping tomorrow brings happy news as well. A heartbeat is a wonderful step in the right direction!! Hugs to you and your little one!!

  36. November 5, 2012

    Oh, what a relief. I hope everything goes well with Dr. B tomorrow!

  37. November 5, 2012

    Speaking as captain haematoma, I can tell you that your body is capable of absorbing dirty great big clots and keeping that little bird of yours . Be conservative in your choices: rest, rest and rest, feet up, and listen to a meditation. I have LIVED how scary it is, I know how hard it is, but I also know that there can be a happy ending to this. I have one. Thinking of you.

  38. SM #
    November 5, 2012

    I’m so happy that things are a little better now! Keep growing little birdie!

  39. B #
    November 5, 2012

    This is a huge relief! Though I understand your continued anxiety about not being out of the woods yet. I will continue to think lots of positive sticky thoughts for you and that little baby!

  40. November 5, 2012

    What a relief. I’m glad you went to a place you felt comfortable. Good luck tomorrow.

  41. November 5, 2012

    Great news! I don’t know what it is about you, but I always think the best for you (and I’m not a a rah rah kind of gal – I’m rather realistic). I was worried for you, because I know this is scary, but I wasn’t worried about you. Not sure that that makes sense – but this is exactly what I thought (and hoped) would happen! You bring out the positive in me 😉

  42. November 5, 2012

    Channeling an (unexpectedly delicious) vegan ice cream sundae with ridiculously amazing vegan chocolate sauce and an organic cherry on top for you tonight. Try your best to get some rest…thinking of the three of you.

  43. Juno #
    November 5, 2012

    Oh my, I am thinking about you. Very scary but so encouraging to see a strong heartbeat!!! Hugs.

  44. November 5, 2012

    So relieved for you! Keeping fingers crossed!

  45. November 6, 2012

    Oh Belle, I am so beyond relieved. Only good thoughts and positive vibes to you. Xoxo sweetie.

  46. November 6, 2012

    Was thinking of you all day, so glad birdie is hanging tight – and 120 is a fantastic heart rate, higher than both of mine at that time.

  47. November 6, 2012

    Belle if it helps I have a friend who had heavy bleeding during her pregnancy and several clots in with him. He did decide to arrive at 29 weeks but is home and doing brilliantly. I know every case is different and I know that the past is haunting you, it would be weird if you weren’t worried. Do your best to rest, I don’t know if its possible for you to have some complete bed rest and not work? If you can then that’s brilliant. If you can’t then do what you can to rest when you can. I know you know all this sorry. I came straight on to see if there was an update and I’m so glad that so far everything is good. Sending lots of love and positive thoughts xxx

  48. Lydia #
    November 6, 2012

    I know I never comment on here, but I just wanted you to know I’m still following your blog and thinking of you and your little birdie. xx

  49. November 6, 2012

    Keeping you in my thoughts and praying for your baby..Xxx

  50. November 6, 2012

    Belle, I’m so happy to read this!! Thinking of you and sending lots of prayers. I’m still here following along even though I have not had time/energy to comment or indeed update my own blog. Hugs and xxx

  51. November 6, 2012

    I’m glad you are being well taken care of. Good luck today.

  52. November 6, 2012

    I saw your last post on my phone and was unable to send you the heartfelt wishes I would have liked to. I was so glad this morning to wake up to this news. I will be thinking of you today and hoping that the news only continues to get better and better.

  53. November 6, 2012

    I’m so relieved and happy that baby is doing ok. I know you have worries of this turning out like your last pregnancy, and I’m sure any of us would have the same fears. But I’m just going to hold on to the old adage that not every pregnancy is the same, nor do they all have the same outcome. Take extra special care of yourself and rest as much as you can.

    Sending you and baby lots of healthy, happy thoughts.

  54. A. #
    November 6, 2012

    I am so glad to hear that the ER treated you well and that your babe is doing fine. I know you still must be very anxious, though. Sending you lots of good vibes in getting through the next few weeks. Hopefully, LO will keep thriving and that damn SCH will be reabsorbed and stay away. I have lots of hope for you but I know it’s a really scary time.

  55. trish #
    November 6, 2012

    Oh Belle, i am so happy to wake up and read your good news. hang on baby Birdie, you have amazing parents who can’t wait to meet you.

  56. November 6, 2012

    Glad to hear it! Sending happy and healthy thoughts to you and your baby.

  57. November 6, 2012

    Phew! It is probably impossible for you to feel completely relieved (or maybe even a little relieved), given how things went last time with Pip, but I am going to remain firmly convinced that this time will be much different. Take it as easy as you can. I am so glad that you got to hear such a wonderful heartbeat, and i hope that stupid hematoma does a speedy vanishing act so as to not scare you like that ever again!

  58. Shelley #
    November 6, 2012

    I feel like I’m reliving my experiences from a few weeks ago all over again… I know exactly that jarring feeling of thinking it’s all over, only to find out it’s not, only to still be scared shitless. It’s good news for sure, but it doesn’t take away the fear. All I can say is, this pregnancy isn’t that pregnancy and history doesn’t always repeat itself. I’m hoping we both just have a couple of harmless though annoying SCHs existing peacefully next to our growing, healthy babies!

    • November 7, 2012

      Shelley, you were the first person I thought of when this started! I’m so happy you have “graduated” and that your pregnancy is getting closer to the 12 week mark. xoxo

  59. November 6, 2012

    Whew! So glad all is well for now even if you aren’t out of the woods just yet. I don’t know if a hematoma is the same thing as a subchorionic hemoraghe, but I had a SH at 6w3d and both my embies survived and today I’m 31 wks pg. i hope this encourages you! That’s my intent. I know how scary my situation was without a history of miscarriage, so I can only imagine what you are going through. Hang in there! Looking forward to your update.

  60. November 6, 2012

    Thinking hopeful thoughts for you all! I’m glad things are all right so far!

  61. Vanessa #
    November 6, 2012

    *HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF* Man, why does this process have to be so stressful?! At least you’ve got some good news to cling on to now, though. And that heart beat is stronger than it was with Pip, right? I think the more monitoring you have, the better you’ll feel about this… how many weeks until you’re done with the first trimester, six? Let’s start a freaking countdown now!

  62. jak #
    November 6, 2012

    that’s good news. it really might be just the hematoma… which by the way, you should name. i named my polyp pete. he showed up after our first round of treatment and has been with me ever since. hoping your hematoma gets lost though…

    keep your chin up and take care excellent of yourself. lots of rest, vitamins, beans, and folate supplements;)

  63. karaleen #
    November 6, 2012

    OH my goodness….I am so sorry you had to go through this. I will be praying like mad for you the today’s appointment gives you some peace. I am glad baby is in there with a beautiful beating heart and I just want you to know that I had terrible bleeding with my 2nd baby and all ended up fine. Those little hematoma’s can cause soooo much trouble. hugs.

  64. November 6, 2012

    How scary. I am so sorry. I’m sure you are still upset. I am so glad you got to hear the heartbeat and I am holding my breath and crossing everything that this all turns out ok. Take care of yourself and have all the pie you want! Love.

  65. November 6, 2012

    OH Thank God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  66. karaleen #
    November 6, 2012

    I keep checking in to see how your appt this morning went with your RE. Thinking of you.

  67. Juno #
    November 6, 2012

    Ditto karaleen. Please check in Belle. Xoxoxo

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