I regretted the post on weight gain as soon as I hit publish. However, positive comments immediately flooded my in box saying that I was not alone in this struggle. This was a subject that needed discussed. Then a harsh comment came through. Then another. And it made me realize that I should have approached the subject differently.
There is a particular aspect of my life that is deeply personal and involves a family member whom I love and respect. Because of this I don’t write about it online despite the impact on my personality and infertility. I am going to be vague on purpose here out of respect – someone I share DNA with has spent a lifetime struggling with obesity. I have watched this disease literally cripple and take years from his/her life. It has dramatically affected me and I live in constant fear of one day following in these footsteps.
About 50 percent of my therapy focuses on these issues. I am thrilled to see things slowly improving and on good days I can enjoy fries or cake without guilt, but the fears still linger. Seeing my shape change so quickly has brought back a lot of old baggage – hence the post “Struggling with Early Pregnancy Weight Gain.”
I intended to take a week long break from blogging after yesterdays harsh commentor but quickly realized my blog has purpose in this community. I was, and still am, overwhelmed by the comments, emails and posts of support. Bother lurkers and regular commentors came out to say they look forward to my writing and appreciate my willingness to discuss topics often ignored. They shared personal stories of how a particular Scrambled Eggs post helped open a dialogue between them and their spouse, or helped them find the courage to seek help, or just gave them a much needed laugh in the middle of a rough day.
In addition, the thought of a week of not putting my thoughts down was daunting. Scrambled Eggs is my outlet. It is my release during a time in my life that is very chaotic and very personal. As open as I am about my journey, this is the ONLY place I can discuss weird cervical mucus and actually get helpful feedback. Seriously, I talk to you guys about things I would never dream of talking to my mom about. You help me through some really dark and really disgusting times. And I love you all for that.
Running away would not only deny my readers the chance to relate to some infertile cat lady in Kentucky, it would also deny me the ability to work through these emotions and feelings. So I return, just a day later, with a fresh perspective and some new self-guidelines that will hopefully keep Scrambled Eggs a more peaceful, harmonious place for all of us to read, comment, share and heal.
Despite being pregnant I have maintained a fairly good stream of readers who are still in the trenches, which is way humbling. I want to keep this a safe place for all women: infertile and fighting, pregnant after infertility, parenting or even so fertile they pop out babies like it’s their job. In order to do this –
I promise to use as much sensitivity in my writing as I can. I promise to always have ultrasound and sensitive photos after a jump and a warning. I promise to try and have post titles that accurately indicate a pregnancy-oriented post. I promise to never compare the Chicken to any food other than a Chicken! (Sorry, ya’ll, I have a hard time with thinking that my baby is the size of something I ate for lunch, just saying!) I promise to still write about farts, constipation and cats with reckless abandon. (If you have a problem with farts or felines you are in the wrong place!)
I also promise to continue writing on topics that need to be discussed. Sometimes those topics might ruffle feathers or offend a reader. In these cases, I encourage you to leave feedback sharing your views. I value all constructive comments, especially those that bring a different perspective to the table. I believe that every argument can be countered in a productive, non accusatory tone. I promise you the most sensitive posts possible and in return I ask for the same in your comments.
I will leave harsh or negative comments that can be gently responded too. I will not, however, tolerate unjustly negative comments that serve no constructive purpose. Especially comments that hurt both myself and other readers. The password protect has been removed from the post on weight gain. It’s and important topic that those who are newly pregnant are obviously struggling with. Later today I’ll re-post the blog on forgetting to plan for pregnancy.
And with that, I’m going to sign off for the weekend. I’m traveling to Birmingham to see some very dear friends and drink the second best thing to Pinot Noir: Pomplamoose La Croix! I’ll be back next week with some VERY IMPORTANT POSTS on riveting topics including itchy nipples, feline computer junkies and, if you are super lucky, a post on cervical mucus. Hoo-rah!