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The hunt for an OB or midwife begins

12/05/2012

Belle

Why on earth are the secretaries at OB and midwife clinics so rude? Seriously, y’all! I would expect a tiny bit of  personality from whomever I hired to answer my phones and book appointments.

I have set up two appointments for next week, each at a different midwife clinic. The first is at a clinic at Central Baptist hospital which is a 60 second drive and a 5 minute walk from my front door. So. Convenient. This clinic has traditional OBGYNs and “modern midwives” available. I booked with the older of the three midwives. The receptionist, however, was incredibly rude and it left me with this nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach that this might not be the place to expect continued tender loving care.

This morning I booked a consultation with another midwife in town who delivers at a hospital about 15 minutes away – not far but with Lexington traffic it could easily take 30 minutes to get there. Again I was greeted by a harsh receptionist who was not at all kind and gentle. I was told that until I’m certain I’ll be transferring to her clinic I can only have a 15 minute consultation. I understand this, but the way the information was delivered left me feeling pressured and like I was being a bother.

Each receptionist also seemed very put-off when I was unsure what kind of appointment I’m booking. I politely pointed out that this is the first time I’ve made it this far in a pregnancy and that I’m in uncharted territory. I also mentioned my prior loss and two years of infertility and received no additional guidance.

I have seen three OBs in Lexington prior to starting infertility treatment and every single one left me in tears of frustration when they refused to listen to concerns over my progressively more absent cycle. No one offered to run blood tests. No one did an ultrasound. No one did anything to see what might actually be wrong. They just sent me home with a new birth control prescription. I will not return to these clinics for my OB care now that I have a $20,000 baby in my womb.*

Several people have said that I am too picky when it comes to my medical care, but I beg to differ. I was less picky before and found myself in situations where I received sub-par care or, worse, had conditions completely overlooked. I have learned throughout infertility and autoimmune disease that having the RIGHT doctor can make all the difference. I have also learned that it is incredibly important FOR ME to have a clinician who listens to my concerns and then alleviates them by talking to me like the educated human being I am. I expect nothing less than this from my OB or midwife. Picky? Maybe. Necessary for my sanity and safety? ABSOLUTELY.

Any advice on how to find a good OB or midwife? Any sample list of questions I might want to ask during my first appointment? I already have a long one going but am always looking for more input.

* That’s right – $20k. I hate that number. I had less in college loans from my four-year degree. At least my degree with stay with me forever. There is no promise that this little Chicken will be here forever.

 

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39 Comments

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  1. December 5, 2012

    Oh man…I am feeling your pain re: the cost of hypothetical children. Our total is similar to yours–the majority of that cost being out-of-pocket.

    I don’t know anything about OB/GYNs except for what Cliff Huxtable. Did your clinic recommend this one? I would think that if they’re being recommended by a fertility clinic, they’d be a little more sensitive to the fact that this is kind of a big freaking deal! All the time, the money, the heartache that has gone into getting to this point is nothing to be disregarded.

    Anyway, I hope you find someone deserving of your loveliness and the inevitable loveliness of little chicken. You both deserve the very best care possible.

    • December 5, 2012

      The cost is outrageous! Our treatment was all out of pocket, too, and it has made a huge dent in our finances each year. I’m struggling to write our Christmas letter this year because there is so little to report (I don’t think I’m ready to announce the pregnancy in the letter) – we did not travel due to infertility cost (both monetary and emotional), we did not have many guests thanks to infertility, we had very few local adventures thanks to infertility. We really did very little outside of the dildo cam, miscarriage and tears. It’s tremendously frustrating and I’m SO SORRY you are also feeling these pains. I am, however, glad to see you back on the blog 🙂

  2. December 5, 2012

    Not sure if this helps or not but I HATE the receptionist at my OB’s office but I LOVE my doctor, so I guess try not to let the shitty receptionist be your guide for whether or not the doctor is good. I’m a firm believer that when meeting the doc/midwife you will know in your gut if it’s a good fit or not. And if its not a good fit you absolutely should find a different place. One question I would have is what is their policy for when you have questions or concerns and don’t have an appointment. Can you call your doc directly? Can you expect to talk to the nurse? Will you be looked at like a crazy girl for having so many concerns? That was my saving grace during pregnancy and now that she’s here knowing I can call and ask my silly questions. That’s just my opinion. Good luck with the doctors.

  3. mylifeisaboutthejourney #
    December 5, 2012

    I had a similar problem when I graduated from my RE. I called my regular OB and explained to them my circumstances (3 losses in a year, 4th pregnancy) and they still told me that the first ultrasound that they would give me would be the anatomy at 20 weeks, unless I was bleeding or the doctor thought it was necessary for me to have an NT scan. They basically said I would be treated like any other patient. I just couldn’t handle that. After dealing with so much crap, I decided I needed more. Luckily my RE referred me to an MFM doctor that takes infertility patients. I am so happy with the level of care that they give. I have had an NT and Anatomy scans so far and lots of other tests that other OBs might not have done. They also check with a hand-held ultrasound at every appointment and are always willing to see me at any point for *any* issue (even if the issue is all in my head, which it usually is). Is there any way that your RE can refer you to a MFM specialist based on your infertility and loss history? Some people told me that it might be too much information and that I’d be better off being treated like a “regular” patient at an OB, but I am very happy with my decision, so far. I like to know as much info as possible. I hope that you can find a doctor that you can feel comfortable with and end up trusting to care for and deliver your baby. Oh and I totally don’t get why the secretaries have to be so rude and uncaring. I feel your pain on that one. Good luck! xoxo -D

  4. December 5, 2012

    I too had bad experiences with OBs with my losses and prior to seeing an RE. I was lost when I finally got pregnant and needed an OB. I asked around my RE’s office and got some recommendations from one of the REs and from my IVF coordinator, figuring that they’re in the baby making business and therefore would have high standards for who they would recommend. Then I did some research online of the people they had recommended and found an OB whose office is right across the street from the hospital that I had already decided I wanted to deliver at and had two docs on the ‘Best Docs’ list for my city. I think it’s important to start from the hospital, since that’s where you’ll deliver and where your baby will spend his/her first days and get initial care and then find an OB that delivers at that hospital. You can look and see if there’s a magazine or newspaper that does an annual ‘best of’ for your city and see if they include doctors. Also, try not to judge the office based on the receptionist. I know it’s your first contact with the office, and I agree you’d think they’d hire more pleasant people, but in regards to your care, they are the least important factor in it and you can always give the docs feedback on their receptionists later if need be.

    Good luck!

  5. Jen #
    December 5, 2012

    You aren’t being too picky at all – it’s huge that you’ve made it this far and you don’t want anything overlooked and certainly don’t want to feel rushed at your appointments. You need a doctor who will take time with you and make sure all of your questions are answered.

    I started with my in-network providers, then checked out location and hospital deliveries. There are two hospitals in particular that I would prefer to deliver at in the Cincinnati area and several hospitals I did NOT prefer. I’m not crazy about the practice (i.e. the decor is dated, a long wait, etc.) but I loved my doctor. She spent lots of time with us and gave us an ultrasound (even though I’d already had three and I’m only 11 1/2 weeks!). I think you’ll be able to tell pretty quickly once you have time with the doc on if it’s going to be the right “fit”. Good luck! I’m so excited for you to be at this stage in the game!

  6. December 5, 2012

    I am not a big fan of the receptionists at my current OB office, but I quite like my doctor too. However, the ones you talked to sound horrible. If they give you problems in the future, maybe you can ask to speak to a supervisor. That sometimes helps people to shape up, and quickly! As for finding a good OB or midwife, I consulted google for reviews of the doctors I was considering. You have to consider that the reviews are highly subjective, but it can at least give you an idea of how some of his/her patients are feeling towards him. And just ask every question possible when you first meet with the doc. Since you want to go drug-free during labor, definitely make sure that your doc will support you in that. And most of all, make sure you feel comfortable with him/her and that your personalities jive. A good doctor really can make the difference, especially in pregnancy, when you are seeing them so often. Good luck, Belle!

  7. December 5, 2012

    You are not picky at all. Never settle! You and your little Chicken deserve the best care, physical care and the way they treat you. I had an OB that I left before we started treatments that was not giving me the care I needed. We all deserve the best.

  8. Shelley #
    December 5, 2012

    You might hate me for this, but I think it’s a “when you know, you know” situation. Before we got Turtle’s new diagnosis, we were going with a clinic we thought we had to go to (close to home, had midwives, etc.) but I never really had a good experience with them. They were always rude on the phone, and I wrote about my first appointment with the midwife there. One thing I’m slowly realizing (and want to write about) is that there is a big divide between the type of pregnancies that midwives are used to dealing with and the type of pregnancy you have after a long infertility battle (no matter how “normal” or healthy it looks from the outside). I don’t want to be so bold as to say midwives aren’t good for IF patients but maybe they’re not great.

    Anyways, by chance we landed now with two OBs who will be looking after us and I really like them both. I especially love our high risk OB. As soon as he started talking to us, we loved him. Check in with how you’re feeling as you walk out of there for the first time. Welcomed? Hopeful? Listened to? Cared for? Excited? If not, keep looking. This is one of the most important doctor relationships you’ll ever have. Don’t settle for anything less than totally satisfied. I now feel like we’ve found “our people,” the people who were meant to help us through this and deliver Turtle into the world. And I can tell you, that feels really good.

    • December 5, 2012

      I haven’t been a fan of the midwives at my OB clinic either – especially bc of our twin pregnancy. I fully intend to go in next time and request that I be seen by an OB only,

  9. December 5, 2012

    I COMPLETELY agree Belle: you deserve the BEST care! I’ll hope that at least one of those ladies was just having a rough day, but hearing your story should make them stop in their tracks. I’m dealing with the find a doctor mess myself these days, just in reverse order. I have a great OBGYN with wonderful staff if I ever get to use them. My RE on the other hand, I’m not so sure about. So we hunt, and pay copays, and deductibles, and hear different diagnoses, and get more confused. But I’ll keep hunting because it’s probably going to take an EXCELLENT doctor who gives a darn to get me pregnant! Hope you find someone soon. Glad chicken is doing so well though with his early graduation and all!

  10. SRB #
    December 5, 2012

    Dude! I feel you on the receptionists! I understand you get a LOT of phone calls during the day, but it’s your job and you represents the clinic – basic politeness please! BUT, my OB clinic had the NICEST receptionist and I HATED it there. I am mildly terrified of my the receptionist at my midwife’s office, and I wish my midwife was my ACTUAL wife!

    So, don’t judge a book by it’s cover I guess! Listen to your gut with the actual practitioner. I firmly believe you can never be too picky with your healthcare provider. If they give you yucky vibes, find someone else. It doesn’t mean that the service they provide is less than, but the *care* certainly is. How you *feel* about the care you are getting is VERY important in my books.(I too have left OB/GYN offices in rage tears over feeling minimized and bullied about my IF concerns). I am much, much happy with my MW this pregnancy than I ever was with my OB practice, and I think that contributes leaps and bounds to the differences I feel between the two. Can’t wait to hear about the appointments and how you feel about them.

  11. December 5, 2012

    FWIW, I don’t think that the warmth (or lack of warmth) of the receptionists at a doctor’s office are much reflection of the type of care you will get from the actual professionals at that office.

    I’ve found word of mouth to be the best way to find a good OB/GYN practice (or any doctor, really). Do you have friends or colleagues in Lexington whose opinions you trust that you could ask who they use(d)?

  12. December 5, 2012

    Have you considered seeking care from a perinatologist instead? or a maternal-fetal medicine specialist? this is a special, higher-risk pregnancy, anyways… I really think you should expand your search list 🙂

  13. karaleen #
    December 5, 2012

    Oh…I so wish I could help you out on this. But I was so fortunate to have had the same ob/gyn for several years before going thru IF and pregnancy. But…the way he came to me was thru several referrals from my girlfriends who all loved him. So my best advise…is to try and find current patients of the practice and talk to them. I agree…the front office staff, for some reason is always so awful. My Dr. had the same gal for several years and she was awesome…but when she retired he then went through a few to get a good fit and they were all so detached and just wanted to process your paperwork and move you out. I would hold off on the opinion until you meet the dr/midwife. Once you have established a relationship with the Dr….you can always bypass the front desk to speak with the Dr.s assistant or nurse (so make sure you feel them out too). And yes…I do understand the $20k baby…I have a $40k baby followed by a $10k baby….so I feel that pain….my masters program and my husband’s bachelor’s did not cost as much as our babies! But…TOTALLY worth it…and personally…I’m just going to believe that chicken will be with you forever…I’m jsut throwing it out there!

  14. December 5, 2012

    I’m a “letter writing” kind of girl. If I get bad service NO MATTER WHERE AT, I will complain to the manager! Chances are, the receptionist’s office manager has no idea she’s rude. You can call and complain anonymously if you want to…sometimes I do that because I know I will see the person I’m complaining about again. They need to be nicer, their job sort of depends on that sort of service!

  15. jak #
    December 5, 2012

    i second what “thefamilyvan” suggested. if i lived 30 minutes closer to philly, i’d be on cliff huxtable’s patient waiting list.

    i don’t necessarily believe that your pregnancy is higher risk than most. i think things have been going fine so far. and despite mr. hematoma (which your body appears to have effectively annihilated!!), nothing funny or off has happened. i think that you are in a place where you are fine to move forward with a NORMAL pregnancy and can expect to be treated as possessing such. i’ve read ‘maybe baby (now with j-man), hub in boots’ blog and feel that her story is very inspirational about how a not so normal start to pregnancy (complete with hematoma!) can end in the beautiful, natural birth of a very healthy little chap, without all the freak-out factors or interventions. i’m not saying don’t get certain screens, do, but keep your head on and stay balanced.

    i am with you on wanting a natural birth, as you said. a good practice (ok, a rather decked out practice) with a midwife will be able to offer the same support during pregnancy as a traditional ob/perinatologist etc. the birth center we are checking out is more hooked up to monitor my pregnancy than the ob that i’m breaking up with (who doesnt even do u/s, and, bonus, has a 40% c-section rate!! wtf?!).

    re:receptionists. more important to heart your care-provider than their grumpy receptionist;)

    good luck!!!

  16. December 5, 2012

    http://www.dona.org or http://doulamatch.net/list/birth/ky
    I don’t know whether or not you are interested in having a doula at your birth, but since doulas work with the hospitals and midwives around you, you could email a few of them to ask where the best place for delivery will be for the kind of birth you want and which midwives they think are the best. Hopefully none of them will be as rude as the receptionists you encounter, I have found sometimes that when the receptionists get to know you as they see you come in more often that they are sometimes less cold, but you never know! You should always have the best when it comes to medical care, especially for your children!
    http://www.dona.org/search/results.php?region=USA+-+KY&doulas=birth&x=12&y=7

  17. Patricia #
    December 5, 2012

    having delivered in Lexington before I can say that I really liked the Central Baptist facility, and their level of NICU care if that was needed, however, those that have delivered out at St Joe East do rave about their “delivery tubs” they have in several rooms if you are going to go without medication. I really like my OB as well at Lexington OB/GYN Associates, she had fertility issues as well (didn’t require IVF) but was more sensitive to that issue. She’s not the most warm and fuzzy person in the world so I’m not sure you would like her, but I didn’t mind her straight and to the point style. 🙂

    • Patricia #
      December 5, 2012

      oh and i’ve never had any issues that i can recall with my OB’s staff being rude, everyone there i always talked to was very nice and courteous.

  18. December 5, 2012

    I agree that general OB practices tend to minimize what some women have gone through to get to that point, and as a result, they rush things and leave us feeling panicky and less than cared for. I have that issue to deal with at my OB office, but with the opposite staff problem- almost every one of their front office staff are super friendly and sensitive (I even had one lady come around her desk to give me a hug when she noticed my failed attempts to stifle sobs in the waiting area while still TTC). But I have yet to meet a doctor, PA, or midwife in the practice that I feel comfortable with. No one gets it, everyone rushes me through and treats me like every other fertile they see all day long. It sucks. Unfortunately, I have no other options with our insurance (we have to use Kaiser doctors only and in our area, choices are limited!)
    So while it does suck that the first face/attitude you meet in most offices is not such a friendly one, the docs and midwives are who are most important! I hope you find a practice that has the best of both worlds. You deserve it, and so does your little chicken!

  19. December 5, 2012

    Seriously?!? I’m just so appalled by this. OB offices SHOULD have friendly & caring office staff. And the fact that you’ve been told you’re too picky is even more appalling! Your health is serious business and you SHOULD be picky. Uuuugh. I’m having an intolerant day today and just wonder WHAT THE HELL is wrong with people?!? I hope this was just an off day and you find a wonderful provider with caring staff. Hugs!

  20. December 5, 2012

    I can honestly say I love my Gynae/OB but cant stand his receptionist. She has the WORST telephone manner I have ever come across .She is never helpful on the phone and gives answers in such a blunt,uncaring manner it really annoys me to the point where I would rather google a problem than call. But once your face to face with her, she is the sweetest little thing God ever made to work a desk. I try to put it down to her getting alot of hysterical calls from paranoids pregnant woman but at the end of the day, how hard is it to just be a little nicer on the phone???
    My advice is to see the doctor or midwife and choose on what type of service you get them from them. At the end of the day, the receptionist isnt the one handling your treatment, they are and you spend about 3 minutes of the appointment with the receptionist.

  21. December 5, 2012

    There is no such thing as being too picky when it comes to your’s and chicken’s health. I’ve written a post about the qualities I think make a good doctor, if you’re interested to check it out. But basically, you need to feel like you’re listened too and taken seriously. A little TLC goes a long way when dealing with an IF/Loss patient.

  22. Romy #
    December 5, 2012

    I won’t say that you are picky, because I completely understand your desire to find the best fit. However, I do think you are extremely lucky to have so many options available to choose from. In Canada, we just have to take what’s offered to us. My GP told me he can only keep me until 10 weeks which I’ll be on Friday. He referred me to a maternity care clinic but they could only do an intake when I’ll be 21 weeks pregnant! Completely unacceptable. So then my GP referred me to another clinic where I can be seen at 12 weeks, but a friend’s horrible experience with this clinic led me to look up more reviews on ratemymd and the guy gets tonnes of awful reviews! I asked my GP if I have any choice in this matter and he basically said no because the waiting times are long everywhere. I moved to Canada from the Netherlands and am appalled by the state of the health care system here. I would LOVE to have private options like you do in the States or just the option to pay for better insurance packages.
    I’m now thinking about going with a midwife even though I don’t feel comfortable with anything other than a hospital birth because of how long it took to get pregnant – just because it would be another option that may make me feel better. We have family in California and I can’t believe their stories about the health care system there. I would switch any day!

    • Romy #
      December 5, 2012

      I also have to admit that I am jealous of your ultrasound appointments! I can’t believe the level of detail that is involved. At mine, it’s a very quick glance at the baby, they measure the baby and the heart rate and then that’s that. I had one yesterday and it took all of 5 minutes, and they never zoomed in on the baby to show us any organs or limbs or anything in more detail.

      • December 5, 2012

        You bring a REALLY interesting perspective to our healthcare system! I know you have emailed with me about this before and I have brought it up to my husband, who is convinced that moving to Canada would solve all my rheumatologist issues. I pointed out that, no, it likely would not and that while the COST of our care here (we pay nearly $700 a month for our two policies that have not covered any infertility – just noting NOT complaining b/c it takes DARN good care of all the costs with my eye disease) is high, we do have choices that so many other countries do not. As for the ultrasounds – I think I’m the exception to the rule here. I’m incredibly lucky that Dr. B has performed all of them and that in addition to being a rocking RE he is a hell of an ultrasound tech. They also have some top-notch equipment. I would bet this is because the bulk of their business is 100% cash and very rarely is billed through insurance, though. I do not expect this caliber of equipment at my OB offices. I’ll be sure to let you know, though! I know you are not a blogger, but wonder if you would like to write a guest post about your healthcare system for Scrambled Eggs? Nothing negative or lashing out at one system or another – just some perspective for us. While I do have readers across the globe, the bulk are in the USA and deeply entwined in our healthcare debate. I think new perspective from a peer would be very informative for us. Let me know if this is something you would be interested in!

    • SRB #
      December 5, 2012

      I have lived in Canada my entire life, and this is not my experience with our healthcare system at ALL. Having living in different parts of the country, it does very from province to province (as healthcare is a provincial mandate) but I would never dream of trading it for (my limited understanding of) the US system. I’m really sorry to hear you are having a tough time of it Romy! Midwives in most provinces have privileges at major hospitals however, and can still assist births even with medical interventions (working with the on-call OB). Please feel free to email me if I can help in any way (I live in Ontario, with access to info for Alberta as well!) Best of luck to you!

      • Romy #
        December 5, 2012

        Maybe it does differ from province to province (I live in Calgary, Alberta), but what I’ve experienced here in Calgary is really quite shocking at times. One of my friends has to wait until next May to be seen by an endocrinologist, and she’s been waiting for several months already.
        I would have voted Wildrose just for their privatization of healthcare plans – but I couldn’t because of their view on environment 😉
        I would love to get more information if you have any on AB! I’m glad to hear that midwives may also be an option 🙂

        • SRB #
          December 5, 2012

          It really does vary region to region. I used to live in NS and in rural ON, but living in Toronto gives me more options for sure. My good friend lives in Edmonton and is a wonderful resource for midwifery (and birthing and all sort of things!). Email me at littlechickennuggetblog(at)gmail(dot)com and I’d be happy to help get in you in touch and hopefully find some wonderful care!

  23. December 5, 2012

    Since you have options, yep, explore them. I live in an area with 2 hospitals and 6 OBs (3 deliver at my hospital, one of those at the other hospital as well), 3 of whom I’ve met and 2 of whom I’ve been all right with but not thrilled about. I’d love to interview other folk and find somewhere I really liked. Enjoy your choices and find a good fit. I previously lived in an area where family practice doctors delivered babies, and ours was amazing, but I think that’s going out of style everywhere. When you find the right OB, you’ll know, so it’s worth looking (and be sure to ask the chances of them delivering you if there’s a doc in the practice you really don’t like/aren’t comfortable with).

  24. December 5, 2012

    What would happen if you booked the longer appointment and then didn’t stick with them? They can’t force you not to change your mind! I don’t have much advice on the search – my search amounted to looking for what was closest to BG’s office so that he could come to the appointments – but I did luck into an OB and CNM that I feel comfortable with and there are some things about their office that I really appreciate – so those are things I’ll comment on. (1) They’re almost always on time. When you have to go as frequently as you *will* later in pregnancy, this becomes really important. (2) They book appointments fairly far in advance. Since they involve leaving work early this also has been really helpful. (3) They encourage us to call for anything. I’ve never once been made to feel like I shouldn’t have called to check in about something, and actually there are times when they’ve reprimanded me for not calling. (4) They have a web interface that let’s me email them with questions that are less urgent. I used this a lot when I bled and spotted through week 14, and have used it several times since then too. The web interface also let’s me see my BP and weight from every appointment as well as a list of my past and future appoitnments. (5) There is always a doctor on call. I haven’t used this, but it’s comforting to know that if I needed to I could call any time of day, any day of the year. (6) They deliver at a breastfeeding friendly hospital.

    I ended up liking both my OB and midwife and am glad that they tag-team. That’s all I can think of for now. I wish you lots of luck with your search!

  25. Kenya's mom #
    December 5, 2012

    If you are undecided about delivering in a birth center, hospital, or home, then start with a doula. Often times, they have been in hospitals enough to know which doctors work best with which types of patients. They can not give medical advice, but they have been around enough to know who has what kind of reputation. Also know that if at any point you become unhappy or concerned with your care, you can switch doctors all the way up until you are in labor. And medical receptionists are not an indication of the doctor behind the stethoscope. Will email you a list soon.

    • December 5, 2012

      Because of my history I am only allowed to deliver in a hospital. No options there. I am too scared to call a doula right now, it is way too soon. I’m sure one of these doctors will be just fine. It has been pointed out to me that I have very limited sick time right now so I don’t have a lot of luxury of meeting different doctors.

  26. Britt #
    December 5, 2012

    When I was released from my IF practice back to my regular OB, I too was very disappointed in the downgrade in the level of TLC. I had a u/s at 15 weeks and had to ask the doctor to please listen for the heartbeats (rather than just looking on the screen) and specifically request that he check that the babies were measuring the same size (apparently he was OK with merely checking to make sure they existed? who knows!) – I was SO glad I was moving so I had a good excuse to switch! You are NOT being high maintenance for wanting a higher level of care and it’s not just for your mental health – given your history, any good doctor or midwife should be happy to see you more often than the “average” pregnant woman. When I moved, I joined a local online moms group specifically to get an OB recommendation and it’s been a great resource for all things pregnancy and baby-related. Perhaps you have something similar out there? It was a scary step to take because it was one of the first concrete things I did to acknowledge the pregnancy and I was worried about jinxing it, etc., but I was glad I did it. At first I just read through the archives rather than posting my own questions, so as to stay incognito 😉

  27. Katie T. #
    December 5, 2012

    This isn’t helpful at all, but The Mindy Project (available on Hulu if u dont have cable like me) just had a funny episode dealing with OBs vs Midwifes. And there is a cute British guy on it. Bonus.

  28. Cammy #
    December 5, 2012

    I know I already told you, but I really do like Lex. Women’s Health. I used to see a midwife (LS) there and LOVED her. She said because of my blood pressure I would need to see an actual OB so going to EC, whose area is infertility. I suspect she used IVF herself. I have a mixed experience with the receptionist there too. Some seem more “together” than others. I think there is nothing wrong with going to them both to see which one you like better or decide on NEIther! 🙂

  29. December 5, 2012

    Here are some things that were important to me (in an OB). Some I didn’t realize until after the fact:
    1. Seeing the same person every time and having that person deliver me if at all possible
    2. Someone who is MORE than happy to accommodate peace-of-mind appointments
    3. An office with a 24 hour nurses line or way to contact someone with any stupid, teeny concern
    4. Part of a hospital system with an excellent reputation

    you also want them to have a good bedside manner (obv) and spend as much time with you as you want. Also, if you have any other conditions that will need to be managed by said OB (for example, I have my thyroid) make sure they are knowledgable in that area. A lot times the only person you can get to give you an Rx when you are pregnant is on OB. Also, it helps if the office is clean and nice and you don’t wait for a ridiculously long time.

  30. December 6, 2012

    I ended up interviewing 5 midwives before choosing. All were great and I’m sure would have given me a beautiful birth but they just didn’t feel right. I asked similar questions to each midwife but mine were mostly around concerns of birthing at home so I doubt they’ll help. But when I met my.midwife it just felt right. I kept wanting an older more experience midwife and ironically she was the youngest… But it just felt like the right match. I don’t think its being picky at all! This is by far the most important, precious (and expensive!) thing we’ve ever done in our lives… Why would we want anything but the beat?! Interview as many as possible and don’t settle on one until you feel really good about it 🙂

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