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A fist-pumping, no nonsense midwife



The Professor and I went to meet Midwife No. 1 today and she was just delightful. Warm and compassionate, she carries an air of no-nonsense and handled my hysterical sobbing like a pro. She works in a practice with three midwives and a handful of OBs and refers high risk patients out to the high risk dude that Dr. B recommended and trained with.

Emotionally, today was a VERY HARD DAY. This clinic is in the same building as the outpatient surgery center where I had my D&C. In order to get to the 7th floor I had to walk by the surgery center, something I had not planned for. The emotional overload slammed into me like a mac truck and I found myself fighting tears until the moment the midwife walked into my exam room.

The midwife, who we will call LS, was incredibly kind and offered to use the doppler to find the Chicken’s heartbeat and bring me a little peace of mind. It took some hunting since I’m still not 12 weeks but she found it chugging away at a perfect 165 beats per minute.

We went over my exhaustive medical history and not once did she say, “You are going to die from insert autoimmune disease here.” Nor did she refuse to treat me due to my history. I got the vibe that she agreed chronic uveitis sucks, but that for all intents and purposes I’m ok and should have no problem with pregnancy. Huge relief.

I asked her about natural childbirth and she actually fist pumped the air and said a loud “YES! THIS is what we midwives love to hear!” Seriously. Fist pumped. It’s a shame you all can’t hang out with my brother and I for a 24 hour period, otherwise you would understand the fist pump. We think it is kind of genetic. While we know it is incredibly dorky, we just get SO EXCITED sometimes that the fist pump just happens. Kind of like a muscle twitch. The fact that my midwife fist pumped when I said I wanted natural child-birth just left me feeling good.

She explained that I will see all the practitioners in the group and that all the MD’s respect the wishes of the midwife patient. She also said that the midwives work hard to keep midwife patients within their circle. Another plus.

Then LS emphasized the importance of taking this one step at a time, reminding me that there is PLENTY of time to plan my the birth in the coming months. This is something I needed to hear from a professional. Pregnancy after infertility is such an overwhelming mystery. As an infertile I never look much further than the next progesterone injection, let alone all the way to if I’ll be allowed to eat fruit during labor.

My fertile friends (I love you all, please know this!) are SO EXCITED for the Professor and I and just want to talk about birth plans, epidurals, breast-feeding, the best stroller, etc. And while I’m so excited to think about this stuff with them, I’m not quite at the place mentally where I can do so without having a massive panic attack. As tired as I’m sure y’all are of hearing me so this: I just need more time. I assure you, when I’m ready to learn about your natural childbirth, your engorged breasts, your picky eater or your battered lady parts that you will be the FIRST people I come too.

I requested a NT scan in the next week or so and the elective blood tests. I don’t honestly know what I’ll do if a problem is found, but do know I want the time to prepare. She agreed and a nurse just called me with the time: December 19 at 10:10 – which seems an odd time but who am I to argue!

So that’s the run down of the appointment. I forgot my huge list of questions because we were late thanks to the car breaking down on the way there (great fun!) but am not panicking. You know why? Because the Chicken was thump thump thumping away in there and there is plenty of time to plan my natural child-birth  in the coming months. For now I’m going to try to enjoy things and maybe, one day, buy some pants that fit!



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  1. Amy #
    December 11, 2012

    FIST PUMP!!! for a great meeting with a midwife. So glad you found someone you click with and who makes you feel comfortable! And shame on me for not sending you the doppler yet. I have just made myself a physical post-it note reminder; will try to slide it through the shipping department at work tomorrow!

  2. Jen #
    December 11, 2012

    Yay! It sounds like things went really well, I’m so glad you liked your midwife, and that she’s going to be reassuring and supportive throughout the process. Sounds like just what you need. It does really suck that you had to walk by the surgery center to get there. If that’s not a deal breaker (and it doesn’t sound like it is), maybe you will soon start to associate that building with the chicken’s happy heartbeat.

  3. December 11, 2012

    Midwives rock!! So happy to hear you like her and that Chicken is doing well!!

  4. Lydia #
    December 11, 2012

    The practice sounds a lot like how it works here in the UK, which I really liked. I do love a no-nonsense midwife! Glad you are finding a good fit! I think fertile or not, one step at a time is the only way to go. I will, however, go on all day about breastfeeding whenever you’re ready!

  5. SRB #
    December 11, 2012

    YES! I am SO much happier with a midwife this time after going to an OB the first time. I’m also doing a natural birth this time and would be happy to talk any time you are up to it. I’d also be happy to send you those affirmations I’ve been talking about it. Recognize your fears your joys! FIST PUMP!

  6. jak #
    December 11, 2012

    everything sounds great. mos defs get the NT composite risk score (nose, NT, blood work). it really gave me peace of mind – enough that i am not doing amnio, which is great because i dont even want the tiny m/c risk associated with it!

    i think your midwife had you at ‘fist pump’ 🙂 hope all goes well. i know you’re tough enough to do natural childbirth. i think most women are, they are just sadly conditioned not to think they can.

    fist pumps for chicken!!!!!!

  7. December 11, 2012

    Sounds great, belle. And don’t worry one bit about not being ready. When chicken starts kickin’, you’ll all of a sudden want to know everything about everything. I agree with you it’s hard to adjust your headspace from infertile to pregnant to ‘parent’, because everything about infertility is best taken one day at a time. I started to “defrost” at about 16 weeks, sh$& got real at 20 weeks, and at 25 weeks my head really got ‘in the zone’. It’s good you’re just going with it, not fighting it. That’s commendable, hard to do, and a lot easier on yourself!

  8. December 11, 2012

    She sounds awesome and perfect for you, the Professor and your little Chicken. So glad you were able to hear the heartbeat!

  9. Arbrefleur #
    December 11, 2012

    Fist pump!!!! This chick sounds awesome! I’m so so sorry you had to deal with walking past the surgery center unexpectedly. I hate not being able to mentally prepare for something so emotionally overwhelming. Hate it! Hopefully hearing your little one’s hb was a little salve for you! Also, LOL about the fertile friends. Once again, I would be feeling the exact same way. Take your time, let it come! You’re doing awesome!

  10. December 11, 2012

    Yay for a natural birth! I can’t wait to follow your pregnancy, I am so excited for you! Good strong and fast heartbeat too, that is awesome!

  11. December 11, 2012

    Yay! This is exactly who you need — a midwife who still respects OBs and will not hesitate to hand you over if anything risky happens. Also, wasn’t your FET transfer at 10:10 or something? I feel like maybe that’s a lucky number for you…

  12. December 11, 2012

    So glad everything is going well and you found a great midwife. Fist Pump!!!

  13. December 11, 2012

    Eeeeeeeeek!!!! I’m so excited for you! Oh Belle, this is perfect. I wish I had a practice like that to go to!!!!

    PS- send me your trip info!

  14. December 12, 2012

    I’m so happy the first meeting went well. So exciting!! And please go get yourself some pants with that awesome elastic waistband you will be so happy that you did 🙂

  15. December 12, 2012

    Glad you found a midwife that makes you feel good and confident!!!!

  16. December 12, 2012

    It sounds like you REALLY hit it off with the midwife – that’s terrific! It is so important to feel comfortable with those providing your care.

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