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Leftovers: SNOW! Eyes! Exercise! Photos!

12/21/2012

Belle

Weather

Oh my gosh, y’all! It’s SNOWING! I LOVE SNOW!

Too many caps? Sorry… I really do love snow. I grew up in Florida and Alabama so snow is still a real novelty in my book.  I want to take a photo but I forgot my camera today, which is actually surprising because anytime we have “weather” I tote it around hoping for some glorious photo-op. Must be the lingering news reporter in me or something.

Headache

As I posted last night, the headaches are not uveitis related. I’m tremendously relieved. The tricky thing about having chronic uveitis is that any time you have a headache that hangs around and has light sensitivity you have to see a doctor. If you don’t and it is a flare very bad things happen. For example:

I had no idea what uveitis was when I had my first flare so I ignored the headache and light sensitivity for WAAAAY too long. Then I went to a doc-in-a-box who diagnosed a sinus infection and prescribed antibiotics. Two days later my vision had decreased so much that I could not drive. Off to the ER I went where the eye doctor on call said I had conjunctivitis in both eyes and sent me home with medication for that.

Two days after that my vision was even worse, the pain was unreal and I was seeing insane floaters, flashes of light and wild things that made me wonder if the mushrooms I ate the night before were really normal mushrooms. By the time I finally got in front of a retina specialist my uveitis was so severe that both irises had swollen completely and adhered to the lens of my eye making it impossible for my pupil to expand and contract. I had so many floaters because of all the inflammatory cells in my eyes floating around in the vitreous fluid.  It took well over 3 months to recover from that flare and a solid month until my vision started to recover.

Sooo, that is the long way of saying that these pregnancy headaches are going to be tricky for me since I have this crazy eye disease. Now I know, though, that uveitis and pregnancy headaches are very similar and I can hopefully freak out a little less!

Exercise!

Now that I know the headache is not eye-related I felt comfortable finally breaking out Summer Sanders’ prenantal workout video (damn her perky pregnant booty) and completed the “express” first trimester workout this morning. Good grief you guys, I was hot, sweaty and winded by the end of it. I can’t believe how much my endurance has tanked after 12 13 weeks of just sitting around. But I toughed it out and after 37 minutes I felt BETTER and the headache had disappeared. It was amazing! I had almost a full hour of headache relief… and then it came back. But an hour of relief was delightful. I plan to do it again tomorrow morning and then use my hour of relief to do some laundry since I pulled my last pair of undies out of the

Belly Photos

I’m still terrified to do these. I started at 6 weeks with my last pregnancy and, well, we all know how long that lasted. 😦 I look back at the 7 week photo now and KNOW that I’m looking at a dead baby in my belly. Dreadful memories. That said, things are changing in my body and I really want to document them. Like so many other infertiles, this is going to be our only child unless my ovaries miraculously decide to start working so I WANT to be able to remember everything. With that in mind, I might take a photo tomorrow. Maybe. If I feel brave. And maybe if I can find the Chicken on the doppler.

What are y’alls takes on belly photos? Especially after infertility and loss? Did you do them? Do you know people who did them? How did you handle the “what if” anxiety?

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14 Comments

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  1. December 21, 2012

    Stupid phone! I’m the same way about snow. So glad that your headache is pregnancy and NOT uveitis!!

    I’m dying to see belly shots of you, as long as you’re up to it.

  2. December 21, 2012

    I would LOVE to see belly photos! Of course, it’s totally up to you and whatever you feel comfortable with, but the last thing you want is to have Chicken in your arms and feel like you didn’t document the journey enough… better to take the pics, just in case; you can always get rid of them later on if you really need to (which you won’t). 🙂 But also, you don’t need to do it every single week… just once a month is nice enough!

    So happy to hear your headaches weren’t uveitis related… phew!

  3. December 21, 2012

    I’m so glad your headaches are just pregnancy related and not something more serious. I hope they go away for good though.

    As for belly bumps, I didn’t really take many, mostly because I forgot. I took a few, and did an impromptu self photo shoot at 35 weeks and I love the photos from that. We also had a photographer do a shoot with us when I was 37 weeks and I cherish those pictures very much. But I never took belly shots before I could feel the baby kicking. I honestly don’t remember if that was a defense mechanism (I was suffering from debilitating anxiety during my pregnancy) or because there wasn’t much to photograph before before 20 weeks anyway.

    I hope you figure out what works best for you.

    Happy holidays.

  4. December 21, 2012

    Re the headaches: SO glad it’s not a flare but just pesky pregnancy symptoms. They will hopefully be only an occasional burden on you, based on certain hormonal changes through the months. I can count on one hand the number of times I got them so far- and Tylenol usually helps.
    Re the exercise: keep it up, but take it easy too- my first prenatal yoga DVD experience left me bedridden for two days with a pulled back muscle… And I’m not a beginner at yoga. Pregnancy does weird things to our muscles and bodies in general.
    Re: the belly photos- I say do it! Try to think about it as rationally as possible (I know, eliminating emotion from the equation is a tall order for a pregnant infertile!). Taking photos of your belly can in no way be harmful to your baby. You deserve to be able to document this time! Don’t let irrational fears take this away from you.
    Sorry for the long comment. Enjoy the snow!

  5. Romy #
    December 21, 2012

    I do what you describe with the Doppler. I know it’s irrational because there are days I can’t find the baby and then find it again the next day so I KNOW that not finding it does not mean it no longer has a heartbeat. But when I have a shopping trip planned, I’ll check for the heartbeat first and if I find it, I’m ok with looking at baby stuff. If not, I won’t go in those stores. I finally made my first small baby related purchase at 11 weeks and 3 days. Same goes for belly pictures and I just took my first one today at 12 weeks.
    Another thing I’ve put off all this time is the baby journal. I definitely want to do one for my baby for later and I’ve looked at them in the bookstore but I was way too scared to buy one. Now when I do finally buy one I hope I’ll remember all te first trimester details.
    What are your thoughts on that? Do you have one?

  6. Amy #
    December 21, 2012

    I took some, but not in any formal way. Very few are of me in the same clothes or in the same place (no flip-book or cool compilation video will be possible). I took some at the very beginning and then some toward the end…the middle part was hard to acknowledge for me, because of the tubular effect. I only had a crappy PAS and a crappy cell phone at the time, so they aren’t at all nice, but I am glad to have what I do. I think my reasoning was this – if it ended, I’d probably just delete the early ones…the middle part I slacked off on anyway, and by the time I was huge and obviously pregnant and not just overweight, I was fervently wishing I could afford professional maternity photos…but that was laughable. I say go for it – even if the worst should happen (which I think is very unlikely by now), you can at the very least tell yourself that you were brave enough to open your heart to that hope. What’s going to end up being the case is that you’ll have tons of adorable pics – keep in mind that you may hate the way they look now, but your perception will change greatly by the time you’re full-term!

  7. jak #
    December 21, 2012

    so happy to hear it’s not a flare up!!!!!!!! :)))) hope you find a way to deal with the headaches and that they go away shortly!!

  8. December 21, 2012

    For years I knew I wanted to do belly photos! I never had any losses, so I don’t have that to compare it to, but like you, I’m not sure if I’ll be lucky enough to have any more kids, so I found it especially important to take photos. Do it! Then you won’t have any regrets..and you can always delete or throw them away later…. I posted a weekly update on my blog, but under a tab so that it wasn’t in everyone’s face when they came to my blog.
    In any case, I hope you’ll at least take a couple belly shots to share with us.
    p.s. CONGRATS on 13 weeks!!!
    p.p.s. I love snow too! But ask me again in February and I know my answer will have changed. hahahah

  9. whatrhymeswithinfertile #
    December 21, 2012

    Well, I am not as senstive as most infertiles because I was able to have a baby as a result of treatment so I say do them! I wish I had more photos of myself pregnant and I would like to follow your growth/pregnancy. Maybe you could make a separate area for belly shots so if some people don’t want to see they don’t have to.

  10. December 21, 2012

    Re belly photos- oh what a sad thought to have very time you look at that picture! What about looking instead at the happy and blissfully unaware lady you see in them… 😦

    I would LOVE to see your belly shots. If it makes you feel better, find Chicken immediately before and after each one. I imagine you are going to be such an adorable pregnant lady and I want to see you!!

  11. December 21, 2012

    Take the photos! Everyone I know who didn’t take them regularly, regrets that decision. I am being more religious about this pregnancy than the last, and I took plenty when I was pregnant with Matthew. It really is fun to go back and look at the changes, especially once the baby arrives! You will forget how big you were. You REALLY will!

    Good for you for breaking out the exercise DVD!

  12. December 21, 2012

    I try to do them, but I am bad at keeping up with it. I definitely want to remember everything too. I haven’t experienced a loss, but my thoughts are IF something bad happened I would still want to remember the good things and wonderful times I had with my babies while they are in there. That what if is there every once in a while, but I am just trying to live in the moment. I hope you can to. I would love to see the belly pics if you decide to do them.

  13. meggola #
    December 22, 2012

    You should take the photos! I didn’t start taking photos until 19 weeks with this pregnancy (never made it long enough to take photos before) and I wish I had a few from earlier on. I haven’t been doing it regularly – every couple of weeks or so. This will be my only pregnancy as well, so it will be nice to have the photos to look back on. It feels like a leap of faith, I know, but you’ll treasure those photos later on and if you don’t take them now, you won’t have them!

  14. B #
    December 22, 2012

    I hope the headaches lessen! They are no fun. I’ve only had a few bad ones during pregnancy, but they were rough!
    As for the bump pics- I had a really hard time taking them at first in this pregnancy because of my previous loss. Eventually I just sucked it up and did it though because I knew I would regret not taking pictures somewhat regularly if everything went well with the pregnancy. I somehow managed to get through the pre-movement days without a doppler too, so I never had that immediate reassurance that all was well. I think if using the doppler before taking a photo makes it easier for you then that is a good plan. Also as for sharing bump photos- I post mine on a separate tab, that way they don’t show up in IFers feeds unexpectedly. I usually link to the bump photo tab/weekly update at the bottom of regular posts.

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