Last night my acupuncturist asked if I have been talking to my baby. I just stared at her and mumbled, “Not really. How do you talk to someone you can’t see?”
I have not been talking to the Chicken. I talked to Pip quite a bit, promising him or her all kinds of wonderful things and planning our first adventures. This lovely one sided dialogue only lasted a few weeks, though, and then Pip was gone.
I think I talked to the Chicken during implantation, urging him or her to snuggle in deep and promising to share daily walks, adventures, art and science experiments. And that promise still holds. I do not, however, continually remind the Chicken of my promise to help him/her separate pea DNA (coolest home science experiment ever, y’all!).
I don’t think this is an attachment issue: it is unbelievable how fiercely I love my baby. Since receiving a home doppler I have felt this bond grow even stronger – I can hear my child living. My eyes burn just writing this. It’s incredible. I smile like a silly drunk every time I hear the heartbeat and for several hours following. However, this has been the extent of my interaction with the Chicken.
I do think about my baby regularly. I try, often without success, to visualize my baby per my yoga instructor’s cues at prenatal yoga. I think about what my baby’s personality might be like as I plan out the nursery and hunt on Craigslist for a bike trailer. I consider names for my baby. I tear up when I think about meeting my baby.
I do not, however, talk to my baby. I’m not really sure what you say to a baby in utero?
“Hello, baby. It’s your Mom… I’ve been researching crib safety today and think I’ve decided on an Ikea crib. I sure hope you like cheap Swedish furniture as much as your father and I.”
Seriously, what kind of a conversation is this? I thought about reading to my baby but, honestly, I feel silly reading my adult historical fiction to a 15 week fetus. I considered reading a children’s book but I don’t have any nor am I ready to step into the land of “buying baby things.” (Unless, of course, it is a killer good deal on a used bike trailer – Mom has her priorities, you know?!)
My acupuncturist sent me home with instructions to start talking to my baby. I always heed her advice and take her homework seriously but this time I’m just lost. Did you talk to your baby in utero? When did you start? And what on earth did you say to this little creature?