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Pokes and farts



Last night the Professor and I drove an hour north to meet the sellers of the Kelty hiking pack.  To distract myself from the magnitude of the this event, the Professor and I talked and laughed about random things: gun control (we differ greatly on this), mental health care (we agree on this) and on what we could invent to become independently wealthy. My current grand invention: butt mints for gassy days. I think it would be a wild success. He thinks I’ve been inhaling too much pregnancy induced gas.  You choose.

We got to the meeting spot a little before the couple we were meeting so we killed time looking at the cars that pulled in and discussing what we think would be most kid-friendly. What has the most storage capacity and the best fuel efficiency for weekend camping expeditions. After a while we realized that there was a disproportionate number of Subarus pulling into the parking lot.

After the 7th Subaru pulled in we noticed that they all had a sticker in the window that said Cincy Scoobs. A quick Google search revealed that there is a rather robust group of Subaru enthusiasts in the Cincinnati area. Really? Subarus? More Subarus filed in and in time our dorky old Fort Taurus started to feel incredibly self-conscious.



After a while the Kelty sellers pulled up and we hopped out of the car to meet them. They were a lovely couple who was so happy that we had found success. Their little boy grinned at us from the backseat and all I could think was that this was another marvel of science from the same clinic that ours came from. Pretty crazy!  The Kelty pack was purchased and then they showed us several other items. We ended up also buying a $10 XL Baby K’tan for the Professor so he can also practice baby wearing.

As we pulled away the Professor gushed about having two baby things in the back of the car. I smiled and we drove off to grab a quick dinner. On the way to the restaurant I felt something poke my lower belly. Like a real, distinct poke that was full of intention. It startled me and left me half expecting the biggest fart yet to pop out. Instead I felt two other lighter pokes and then stillness. I have no idea if this was the chicken, my butt, or some other rambunctious organ. I do know that it came just when I was approaching a panic attack over having purchased baby items and gave me the reassurance I needed to keep my shit together.



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  1. January 17, 2013

    It makes me so happy to hear about one of your first baby purchases. That’s a big step and it’s proof positive of the hope and confidence you have in the Chicken and this pregnancy. That’s good! And even better that you may be starting to feel baby pokes. How exciting!

    P.S. According to my husband, Subarus are the safest and most practical family car on the market. Not sure I agree, but there you go…words of wisdom from my Honey. FWIW. 🙂

  2. jak #
    January 17, 2013

    LOVE IT!! especially the pokes:) the big question though, is were your kelty sellers also driving a subaru? 😉

    • January 17, 2013

      Lol! They were not! And I am not sure if they would have noticed. Only I usually notice stuff like this since I have a tendency to count things that really don’t need counted – like the number of a type of car entering a parking lot 🙂

      • January 18, 2013

        I too count random stuff. such as how many potatoes or apples i am putting in the veggie bag. i also count when i am cutting/chopping things.

        love the little chicken pokes. that’s what they just had to be.

  3. January 17, 2013

    I think that was definitely the Chicken poking you. That sounds very much like my first baby-movement experience.

    I can’t help but wonder – did the sellers of the baby items also drive a Subaru? 🙂

  4. Amy #
    January 17, 2013

    Sounds like movement to me! How wonderfully exciting. I am totally tearing up for you. This is just SO GREAT!

  5. January 17, 2013

    Ha ha! My husband and I were arguing about gun control yesterday too and it ended up making my whole day way over emotional because he was harsher than he should have been due to lack of sleep and because his mother stayed over last night and she constantly pisses me off. Picture a nightmare MIL and that should sum her up! I am so glad your day went well and it sounds like you experienced some baby movement! I told my husband I wanted to invent a snowman kit, and butt mints are a great idea! We are supposed to go ice skating today with the MIL, obviously I will just be sitting and watching, but wish me luck with this day anyway! Congratulations on the baby gear and chicken flutters!

  6. January 17, 2013

    It was the chicken. I’m sure of it!

  7. Ginny #
    January 17, 2013

    That poke WAS your little chick telling you it’s ok to get the baby stuff!!! I love this story and you can tell your child this story in the future and they will LAUGH………….so sweet!! When I had an infant (then later toddler) to transport, I just really liked my mini-van…………I’m really not very hip at all.

  8. January 17, 2013

    I teared up when you described the poke. That’s exactly how I remember feeling him the first time. I’m just so ridiculously happy for you 🙂

  9. January 17, 2013

    I vote for Chicken! Yay! Go little pokey chicken! My babies used to poke and wiggle when I needed them to, also. It is very reassuring. Although sometimes I had to jostle them awake just to make sure that I wasn’t imagining it the first time (LOL)

  10. January 18, 2013

    Yay for baby things! A big step to be sure! 😉

  11. January 18, 2013

    The Chicken totally knew you needed to feel him or her at that very moment!!! I totally believe that. They can sense these things!!! YAY for your first purchases! I am so happy and excited for you!

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