Last night the Professor and I drove an hour north to meet the sellers of the Kelty hiking pack. To distract myself from the magnitude of the this event, the Professor and I talked and laughed about random things: gun control (we differ greatly on this), mental health care (we agree on this) and on what we could invent to become independently wealthy. My current grand invention: butt mints for gassy days. I think it would be a wild success. He thinks I’ve been inhaling too much pregnancy induced gas. You choose.
We got to the meeting spot a little before the couple we were meeting so we killed time looking at the cars that pulled in and discussing what we think would be most kid-friendly. What has the most storage capacity and the best fuel efficiency for weekend camping expeditions. After a while we realized that there was a disproportionate number of Subarus pulling into the parking lot.
After the 7th Subaru pulled in we noticed that they all had a sticker in the window that said Cincy Scoobs. A quick Google search revealed that there is a rather robust group of Subaru enthusiasts in the Cincinnati area. Really? Subarus? More Subarus filed in and in time our dorky old Fort Taurus started to feel incredibly self-conscious.
After a while the Kelty sellers pulled up and we hopped out of the car to meet them. They were a lovely couple who was so happy that we had found success. Their little boy grinned at us from the backseat and all I could think was that this was another marvel of science from the same clinic that ours came from. Pretty crazy! The Kelty pack was purchased and then they showed us several other items. We ended up also buying a $10 XL Baby K’tan for the Professor so he can also practice baby wearing.
As we pulled away the Professor gushed about having two baby things in the back of the car. I smiled and we drove off to grab a quick dinner. On the way to the restaurant I felt something poke my lower belly. Like a real, distinct poke that was full of intention. It startled me and left me half expecting the biggest fart yet to pop out. Instead I felt two other lighter pokes and then stillness. I have no idea if this was the chicken, my butt, or some other rambunctious organ. I do know that it came just when I was approaching a panic attack over having purchased baby items and gave me the reassurance I needed to keep my shit together.