The Professor and I are in a REALLY strange spot right now. The Chicken is due at the end of June. Professor’s work contract is up at the beginning of May. Professor still does not have a job lined up but is frantically hunting. We have no idea where we will be and if or when we will move. This is forcing us to do things like take childbirth courses much earlier than other people. It also means our showers need to be held before the beginning of May.
Which leads me to an entirely new neighborhood of panic: what if the shower is too early and something goes wrong? Furthermore, our shower has to be planned quite a ways in advance since many attendees must travel and/or fly into the area – we have family and friends scattered all over the country. What if something goes wrong and we have to cancel and people lose their plane tickets? Should I have a P.S. on the invitations that reminds people to purchase trip insurance since this is not a “done deal?”
Adding to the complexity is that I just feel weird asking people to buy us gifts. I had the same hangups when we got married. Our wedding shower had about 6, maybe 7 attendees because I just felt strange asking for people to buy us stuff – and the Professor and I were totally in this for the long haul then! We shared cats for Pete’s sake. There would be no leaving someone at the altar so there was no worry about gifts being inappropriate
We considered having a shower after the baby came, but we have NO IDEA where we will be. We could still be in Lexington, or we could be living in Finland for all we know. Tentatively we have a shower in Kentucky set for April 20 and a small one in Alabama for April 6. The ladies interested in throwing it have been instructed to do nothing more than talk among themselves until the results of our 20 week scan are in. Then… I don’t know. What is the rate of loss after a successful 20 week scan? Or maybe more importantly, what is the rate of loss after 20 weeks in the infertile population, cause you know we tend to abide by our own set of statistics.
The entire thing is tremendously stressful. It is easy for me to buy the necessities used – then we are the only people out money if something goes wrong and we don’t have a house full of extra things like wipes warmers (I still can’t get over the wipes warmers…). But if a bunch of people buy us a whole bunch of things? I can’t imagine how we would handle it – especially with our closest friends all living at least 400 miles away, if not an entire continent.
How did you handle your showers after infertility? Has anyone had to hold their showers at the beginning of their second trimester due to moving or other scheduling conflicts? Am I insane to even be talking showers at this point?