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Second Trimester Recap & Third Trimester Intentions

04/02/2013

Belle

The Chicken is Large and In Charge (and finally balancing out my caboose a bit!)

The Chicken is Large and In Charge (and finally balancing out my caboose a bit!)

Let’s shift gears after yesterday’s hysterical post, shall we?

On Friday I hit the 27 week mark, which I thought was considered the end of the second trimester and beginning of the third, but some sources say it is not until the 28th week, while other still say the 27th… I don’t know! Saying “second trimester” is getting a little boring so I am pretending it’s now the third 🙂

So what did I learn during the second trimester? A lot!

  • I learned that your boobs might start to leak, and that sometimes they might explode.
  • I learned that your belly, which sort of crept along during the first trimester and the first half of the second, will suddenly lash out with unprecedented growth around 23/24 weeks.
  • I continued to learn that pregnancy gas is gross.
  • I learned that pregnancy constipation is different than my regular constipation in that it takes several doses of poo cocktail (Miralax and juice) to get things going.
  • I learned that I’m one of the lucky few who gets covered with gross red spider veins due to increased estrogen and blood volume.
  • I learned that an awful lot of people like to give you what I have started calling “ASSvice,” that annoying advice that you really did not need to hear. You know, the advice that “prepares you” for how horrible parenthood will be, how torturous labor will be and how to “prepare” for when you fail at something like breast feeding. Yeah, that sort of negative-ass advice is ASSvice and boy do people like to dish it out!
  • I learned that picking baby names is HARD (and still is hard as we have yet to choose a boy name).
  • I learned that standing up for yourself and choosing a new provider should you feel your needs are not being met is critical. Along the same lines, I learned that there is a provider out there for everyone, you just have to be annoying persistent enough to find him or her.
  • I learned a lot about the benefits of having a doula and firmly believe that all women, especially those experiencing childbirth after infertility, should have one even if they don’t plan a natural birth.
  • I learned that men can be asshats during pregnancy. They can also be incredibly accommodating by pretending to have not heard the giant Homer Simpson fart you just bounced off the wooden chair.
  • I learned that pregnancy hair is awesome and that pregnancy ass expansion is less awesome.
  • I learned that mothers and mother-in-laws become insane beasts when you are carrying their first grand-baby.
  • I learned that showers can be thrown whenever you  please, by whomever you please, and with whatever theme you please, etiquette be damned.
  • I learned that while growing a human can occasionally leave you going “OMG, that is so gross,” is is mostly amazing and something that was well worth fighting for. Even if a little pee sneaks out every time you sneeze. (KEGELS!)

According to my weekly pregnancy emails, I only have 13 weeks left of this pregnancy. Those first 13 weeks went so agonizingly slow and then, BAM, it seems like time hit the accelerator and now I blink and a new week has set in. A lot of the past 27 weeks have been spent in panic about something: keeping the baby inside and healthy, finding a job then moving, family drama, friend drama, an internal war with my former eating disorder self, etc. My intention for the last trimester is to try and savor what remains. I will never be here again. I want to look back at these last 13 weeks and feel like I really lived it.

What steps have you taken to relish your pregnancy despite stressful times in your household? What has been your No. 1 piece of ASSvice, either pregnancy or infertility related – we all get it, no matter what stage of the game we are at!

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24 Comments

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  1. April 2, 2013

    Welcome to the third trimester! You’re looking great. 🙂 (I have to say, I’m really loving pregnancy hair, too. I’ll be so sad when it all falls out…)

    ASSvice…great term. I haven’t actually received a lot of it (yet), but what I have gotten has been pretty damn annoying. The worst was my one friend telling me that I shouldn’t be playing music for the baby in utero because it could overstimulate him and cause ADHD. Good grief.

    In terms of relishing the pregnancy, I’ve learned to become less of a control freak about getting things done around the house. I’ve let go of a lot of that and am ok with others taking over more responsibility. I’ve learned to be content with just sitting there, communing with the belly. 🙂

  2. Shelley #
    April 2, 2013

    What a cute bump you’ve got! Would love to hear more about the process of finding a doula and the cost of a doula. I fully appreciate the benefit of them but just haven’t really thought about hiring one for this birth since we know it’s going to be a hospital birth and very possibly not natural.

    • April 3, 2013

      I would highly recommend a doula for a hospital birth even if you don’t want or aren’t planning a natural birth. I ended up getting induced and getting an epidural but having my doula there for support was amazing. She was able to help keep me and my husband calm and informed. My husband was able to take break to eat and go to the bathroom without feeling like he was abandoning me and in those early weeks she was just a phone call or text away when I needed some reassurance. If cost is an issue look for a doula in training they are often much cheaper but just as good. I started my search just with google and then networked from there.

  3. April 2, 2013

    Yay! You look adorable. I love that chicken bump!
    Best thing I did to love the pregnancy was have maternity pics done (which I know you are planning!) also, I detailed it on the blog, and am soooo glad I did because I’ve already forgotten so much.
    As far as assvice…I had so many people say “sleep now because you won’t be able to once the baby comes!” I totally disagree, I took two weeks off before baby and was up at 6 each morning – you can get SO much done without a job or baby that you can’t once the baby comes! I made lists and crossed several things off each day and felt so productive!

  4. April 2, 2013

    You’ve ‘popped’ and look so adorable! I always hated the ‘get sleep now while you can’ advice…. as if you can stock up.

  5. April 2, 2013

    Wow, you are looking proper pregnant AND fantastic! That ass-vice doesn’t stop when the baby comes so get used to it. 😉

  6. April 2, 2013

    You look amazing, just wanted to say that =) And good luck with the move, your anxiety is completely warranted, I can’t imagine moving with a new baby!!!

  7. April 2, 2013

    Belle, your chicken bump is BEAUTIFUL! Honestly, you look amazing.

  8. Romy #
    April 2, 2013

    Your belly is so cute 🙂

    As for assvice (great term), I don’t know why everyone feels the need to tell my husband and I that our hiking days are over. I’ve already bought a Stokke MyCarrier that you can use from birth-3 years. It doesn’t stop at hiking either, it’s as if people enjoy telling us about all the things we won’t be able to do anymore. Many of them look rather pleased with themselves as they give us their “advice”. It has only made us more determined to make it work. I think for many of these women, their baby is just a validation for their inactive lifestyle.

    Good luck with the move! We just moved last weekend and I was completely stressed out. That’s with knowing where we were moving months in advance, so I can understand your anxiety. It’ll be so awesome to be in NY with your baby this Summer though. I’d love to be able to get by without a car and have lots of parks and shops within walking distance. Here in Alberta, you need a car for anything.

  9. April 2, 2013

    You look so incredibly cute. You said “ass” five times in this post, which is a feat in itself, over and above looking as adorable as you do. 😉

    Thanks for sharing your lessons, friend. I hope to benefit from them one day!

  10. jak #
    April 2, 2013

    YOU. LOOK. AWESOME!!! just, awesome:)

    best assvice so far: “what are you going to do with your dogs? you’ll need to get rid of them or keep them away from the baby, yes?”

    answer: “no. my dogs may be 90 lbs bigger than your screeching purebred insane little mop, but they are also 90x more well-behaved. my dogs will be babysitting this kid, thank you”.

    not really assvice, but also got this from a stupid man at work whose name i dont even know (he is ~30 years older than me). “what are they doing now days for labor? i heard they give you a leather strap or something, hahaha!” really asshole?

    belle, you didnt tell us your worst assvice – please do! also, a tip – we are putting a box for names suggestions at our shower and a box for assvice at the shower. the box for assvice, WILL NOT HAVE A HOLE IN IT, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  11. April 2, 2013

    You look adorable! I can’t think of any ASSvice I have received this time, probably because I don’t get out much! The worst thing was the OB who told me the nurses at labor and delivery were superstitious about birth plans and didn’t like them. My pregnancy also went so slow until the holidays ended, then it was like, wow this baby is coming here in 2013! Now I am having labor dreams and wondering what day of April Vera will pick for her birthday 😉 My toddler has been an absolute menace, and I can’t wait to see her hold her baby sister so she can hopefully stop acting out and start helping me with the baby since she really is a baby obsessed little thing. Stress during pregnancy has been hard, blogging and writing about it in communities with other expectant woman has helped me to vent. Reading a ton of books has also helped me relish my pregnancy and to get rid of labor fears. I am obsessed with pregnancy books and movies! The best new book I read has been Orgasmic Birth, I effing loved it! Anyway, I wish you so much love and luck when it comes to your move, I know it is so much preparation stress, but New York, how exciting!

  12. April 2, 2013

    So, I didn’t love pregnancy, and my L&D was “a mess”…no advice there. But there are a few things I wish I’d known about having a baby! First on this list is to learn a bit about sleep (the baby’s, but really yours and the baby’s are the same – or at least yours is less than or equal to) before it gets here. “They” will tell you more than you’ll ever need to know about eating, peeing, pooping, and playing (milestones), but somehow people forget to mention the only other thing babies do. That is until you’re struggling, and then it’s all , “well, when they first came home you should have been…”

    Yes, thank you. But what do I do now? Sheesh.

  13. April 2, 2013

    You look fantastic! No ASSvice from me.

    As far as your list, all good things to know if this pregnancy makes it to the second trimester….

  14. April 2, 2013

    Belle, You are cute as a button. I haven’t been getting any assvice, but my partner is! Crazy what tidbits those guys feel ask they should bestow upon their friends. Bananas!

  15. karaleen #
    April 2, 2013

    Okay….All I can say is that you are the cutest pregnant woman EVER!!! Oh how I rocked the prego/body/belly like you do!!!!

    And…you make me laugh.

    And…I don’t recall much assvice thank goodness. I was a professional Nanny and pretty much helped all my friend with their infants for several years before I got my own….so people just assumed I would know it all. I felt very comfortable physically taking care of my baby…I was just not prepared for the emotional weight of it. So…for me…I almost wish people would have spoken up just a bit more. But…in the end…I didn’t have any pre-conceived notions or biases based on other people’s experiences and when situations arose…I just learned to shoot from the hip and do what “felt” right for me and my baby. I’m sure you will do the same!!

    So excited for you as you journey into your last trimester. So glad you are enjoying it!

    Karaleen

  16. April 2, 2013

    Looking amazing, lady. Congratulations on hitting this milestone.

  17. April 2, 2013

    I’m so proud of that bump you’d think it was mine, lol! You look awesome!! Relish away. 🙂

  18. April 3, 2013

    Oh my! What a cute picture of you and your bump!!!!
    Yeah, well, assvice is just as abundant as there are asses, if not more.

    My bit o’ assvice: When our little boy was about a month or two old I started a daily journal (private blog, so I don’t have to hand write anything and can print it when I want) of his milestones, what we did, what he did and just little things. I wish I had thought to start it right when he was born. I try to write in it every day. It doesn’t always have to be huge milestones or events, but just a little something to remember what happened and when some things did happen. I love it.

    Also, I know I was lucky with labor being short and quick, but it really wasn’t so bad. Sure it was painful (but I did manage without pain relievers, as if I had any choice) and I was nervous-scared (I think that was worse) but women have been giving birth forEVER. I wouldn’t mind doing it again, especially if it means I would get a 2nd child. 😀

    Names are definitely hard to figure out. We didn’t come up with our boy’s until he was over a week old!! Hubby just kept saying “we had time” to think of one, until I told him little boy is NOW here, we need a name. lol

    Truly enjoy this all. It is so great and something you’ll never get again (whether you have more children or not, this particular experience is a one of a kind for this child).

  19. April 3, 2013

    Eeeep! Look at you! I’m dying. Your belly is too cute!!!!!!

    On Tue, Apr 2, 2013 at 7:46 AM, Scrambled Eggs

  20. April 4, 2013

    Oh my god, you look so frigging cute it’s killing me! That is exactly what I hope my bump looks like. I will be keeping all these lessons in mind as I move along the days/weeks/months. Also, I hope the shitstorm from before has settled down somewhat — I heartily endorse garage sales over Craigslist when it comes to selling those niggly items like kettles and toasters or whatever. WAY easier.

  21. April 5, 2013

    You look amazing Bell! Almost there!

  22. Ginny #
    April 5, 2013

    That chicken is IN CHARGE – and your bump is probably the cutest I’ve seen!! Keep on growing lil’ chicken!!

  23. April 14, 2013

    Hi, I found your blog from Jen’s (bum ovaries) blog. Congrats!!! I’m currently 9w2d after IVF and I have an official diagnosis of POF. I’ve gotten ASSvice already. I love the term! I’m going to use it.

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