Put a little boogie in it!
So this post is gonna be gross, and full of talk of eye balls and snot. Consider yourself warned.
We have a house full of dancing Puff’s Plus with Lotion. I’m on day three of having to call into work thanks to this cold/infection/whatever. Yesterday afternoon the Professor was at work and I wandered upstairs with my sick-lady cocktail (4 oz cranberry juice, 4 oz water, juice from one entire lemon and a squeeze of honey all heated to steamy) and curled up with my cat for a nap. As we laid there “talking” this white curtain descended over my left eye. And I promptly freaked the fuck out.
I went to the bathroom to investigate and saw what goes down as the grossest cold related complication I’ve ever experienced – a huge drape of green snot covering my eyeball. Holy shit you guys, I’ve been allergic to life for as long as I remember so I’m no stranger to gross snot, but this, this is the mother of all gross snots. And it kept coming. I would pull out one big stringy mess and another one would follow a few minutes later. The eye was sore and felt like a giant cotton ball and my anxiety was at level 10. I do not need a complicated eye infection on top of my other eye problems.
This time I went to the local eye clinic since this was clearly not uveitis related but needed tended too promptly so the drive was only 5 minutes but the wait for a doctor was 2.5 hours, all while I continued to harvest green snot from my eye. When the doctor looked in the eye he gasped and said, “WOW! I’ve NEVER seen anything like this in all my years!” And then he gleefully started harvesting eye snot himself.
As of now, the eye itself does not show signs of infection, but the doctor did not want to risk anything so he gave me a prescription for a strong anti-biotic drop as a preventative measure.
Last night I had another fitful sleep of coughing, wheezing, nose blowing and … peeing myself. My poor muscles are so stretched from baby and are so tired of squeezing every time I cough that they just gave up at 1 a.m. and pee happened. Luckily I have lightning fast reflexes and was able to jet out of the bed and stagger to the toilet before any real damage had occurred. Still, though, peeing oneself at the age of 32 while snot streams from your eye and nose is just too much.
I’m calling my doctor back today and begging for some antibiotics. I do not appear to be getting any better.
And now I’m going to fuss mightily about being pregnant – please have compassion and don’t lecture me. You guys, I never get sick like this. Sure I get a cold a couple times a year but it never requires a doctor visit and it never knocks me on my ass for days. Uveitis issues aside, I actually have a pretty good immune system that is able to take care of a bug before it leaves me a crumpled, snot soaked, peeing herself mess. The only thing different this go-around is that I’m gestating. And so… I blame the pregnancy. And it sucks.
And my warning to any pregnant ladies out there who feel sickness might be coming on is to start drinking your juice and getting more sleep and blah blah blah BEFORE the sickness takes over. Do NOT count on your immune system… it will let you down.
Hopefully I’ll be feeling a tiny bit better this weekend and can get you all an updated bump photo because it’s cutie and getting rounder and looking less like Homer Simpson and more like I might actually be a mommy in 11 weeks!