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Control Freak

05/07/2013

Belle

Co-Op-Notes-1

Want to see just how deep the control freakishness runs? Click the image to download a PDF of the “checklist of anal retentiveness.”  I also have notes for him to take when walking the neighborhood. Someone stop me!

This morning I dropped the Professor off at the Blue Grass Airport. In his bag were the usual travel necessities – clean clothing, toiletries, Kindle and laptop – in addition to a few additional items – camera with two memory cards & battery charger, a tape measure and a stack of 5 page each “Checklists” for co-op shopping.

As he made his way through security I made my way home and had a mini meltdown. You guys, I’m a huge control freak. Knowing that he will be spending the next four days viewing properties in NYC and then making an offer on what will hopefully be our next home is KILLING me. I want nothing more than to be able to go with him and obsessively inspect each and every home. He jokes that I missed my calling as a home inspector and he might be right.

I turn on faucets, I check water pressure, I inspect ceilings for signs of leaks, I try outlets, I move furniture and rugs to inspect flooring, I poke through all cabinets and drawers looking for any signs of water damage or trouble, I open windows, I walk neighborhoods, I talk to other residents. I do all of this for a RENTAL. I would do even more for a property I was going to purchase.

I don’t have this luxury this time. At 32 weeks pregnant and coming up on the last of my days at work, I just can’t leave for a week. Projects need finished and, honestly, with how out of breath I get climbing the basement stairs, I don’t really think I’m ready to book it from viewing to viewing and then spend the evenings prowling neighborhoods and counting street walkers!

So now I’ll sit back and wait for his calls as he views places and hopefully is able to Face-time some walk throughs with me. Each night he’ll send me floor plans and I’ll make sure our remaining furniture will fit comfortably while still leaving floor space for baby and cats.

Place bets now on how many more meltdowns we have before all is said and done!

******

In other news: I had my 32 week checkup today. Dr. Shannon said everything looks good. I’m up about 26/27 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight. We won’t even calculate what I’m up from my pre-IVF weight! Baby is measuring on target, blood pressure is good and the feeling that my belly button might open up and swallow me whole from Chicken thrashing about each night indicates he/she is growing big and strong! 

In two weeks we’ll have our next growth scan with Dr. TeleMed (yuck) and then that afternoon we’ll have a checkup with Dr. Shannon. I’m instructed to bring my birth plan in then so we can go over it and make any adjustments. I sent an email to my Doula last night while in the middle of (another) meltdown about Hypno Babies and my worries that I’m not connecting with the method. I hope that she can offer a little guidance on how I can balance my spiritual self with my scientific self and embrace the concepts it is teaching.

Source.

Source.

I do have to say that despite the Stewart Smiley nature of them, I am enjoying the daily “Joyful Pregnancy Affirmations.” I listen when doing my makeup in the morning and the affirmations about loving my pregnant body really resonate and often make my eyes fill with tears. Whether I stick with Hypno Babies or not, I do think I’ll continue to listen to these daily for a little positive reinforcement in an otherwise very negative birth culture!

And now, I’m off to work. I came home after my doctors appointment for an hour to write this and play with our needy cat monsters. (As an aside, Euclid was TOTALLY into the Stimpy Video above!)

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14 Comments

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  1. May 7, 2013

    You are not alone!! CP and I had an Excel spreadsheet that we brought around to each property in CT. Our realtor said that we were the first people she had ever seen do that. Win? For our move to IL I had to sit around twiddling my thumbs in CT while CP looked at ONE house (the one we bought) and put an offer on it. It was nerve racking to say the least….and then when I actually walked through the house when it was too late to back out of the deal….well, I almost started crying. But, as you know, we bought a MAJOR fixer-upper and I wasn’t able to see the potential in it- unlike my dad and CP. Trust your husband and Facetime is your friend!

    • May 8, 2013

      And you have done amazing things with your home. You seriously put our slight fixer upper to shame!

  2. Kathy #
    May 7, 2013

    I don’t think the list is over-board at all. I used a list like this even when I viewed properties myself because you forget stuff and it all gets confused. One suggestion, stroller access. Ask him to visualize coming into the unit with a stroller, how many obstacles ?

  3. May 7, 2013

    I would totally create the same sort of spreadsheet, and I cannot imagine handing over the reigns of control to my husband. Good for you for realizing it’s a necessity to let it happen like this. I’m sure he’ll do his best to find you the perfect place!

    Agreed on the HB stuff – like I commented the other day, there were definitely parts where I thought, “wth?!” — but the positive daily affirmations are amazing and important to remind yourself about over and over. I’m glad you’re finding them helpful!

  4. May 7, 2013

    I don’t know how it works in NY, but perhaps you can get a home inspector? They are trained at finding flaws and damages. They are not prohibitively expensive here (about 400$) and you will get a detailed report on all the stuff you cannot even see in the house(e.g. how old the wiring is, how insulated the house is etc). Will give you peace of mind that a professional is doing the job for you.

  5. May 7, 2013

    I’ll admit that I’m not much of a details person (I bought my current house mostly because it had an awesome back yard for my dogs), but even I would have a difficult time not being able to walk around in my future home before making a decision. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that the Professor finds something great for all of you. 🙂

  6. SM #
    May 7, 2013

    I’m not alone in my control-freakiness! K always thinks I’m crazy when I make lists and spreadsheets. When we were gathering the stuff for our foster-adoption application I had a detailed list that I had to do in order. K tried to jump out of order one time and I tore him a new one for it. Yay control-freakiness!

    • May 7, 2013

      Thank goodness I’m not alone. My mother was extremely rude when she saw the checklist. Honestly, though, adoption and home buying are HUGE life changes and organization and having all the details are critical. Don’t know about you, but my husband was well aware of my need for spreadsheets and lists before we got married so, in a way, he had it coming to him 🙂

  7. jak #
    May 7, 2013

    that’s gotta be hard buying a house long distance when you can’t actually see it. i hope you can ‘youface’ or whatever it’s called so that you can have some kind of virtual tour at least of the inside of places (or prof husband can take enough photos to do places justice).

    did i see square footage on your list? i can’t remember. that is another thing to consider.

    good luck. post pictures if you feel like it!!!

    i am glad you are doing daily affirmations with stuart smalley. even if hypnobabies annoys you, the daily affirmations are good. i tried to send you that book (susan mccuthceon’s bradely method book) but amazon told me that there is no way i can send you something directly that is not on your registry. soooooooooo…….. if you register for it, i can get it for you (wink, wink, wink!!)……

    i hear you about alien trying to rip through your stomach. i think our baby thinks my belly button is the exit and keeps trying to push through it. really weird feeling!!

    good luck and do keep us posted!!!!!

  8. May 7, 2013

    Oh, Belle, I would DIE if I sent Hubster home shopping without me. I’m so proud of you for being as good a sport as you are. I’m stressing out about this enough that you don’t have to haha! I’m sure it will be perfect though. I have a great feeling about how this will all work out.

    And yay for a healthy chicken. I can’t wait to see his little smushy face when he’s born. I guess I think it’s a he?! Did you tell us that or is it my intuition? There are too many preggos in my life to keep track lol!

    As for the hypnobirthing, I feel like this can really work for you, but if you decide not to do it then you’ll be fine without it. You are SO bonded to this baby even with feeling like you had nothing to do with getting him inside of you. And you are going to be the best mom in the world for him. Heck, can you be my mom?!

    I love you so much and am SO proud of you. Keep listening to your affirmations and take a deep breath. You sooooo got this lady! Hugs!!!!

    On Tue, May 7, 2013 at 7:09 AM, Scrambled Eggs

  9. May 7, 2013

    I can’t even imagine! I’m sure The Professor will select a fabulous coop with everything you need. I can’t wait to see the pictures!!

  10. May 7, 2013

    LOVE the check list! I am keeping this. 😀

    But one thing I would add, although you might not need to add it, is – IS THERE AN ELEVATOR. Because seriously there are co-ops on the 6th floor of buildings that don’t have elevators. But you know what, The Professor will probably remember if there is an elevator, because that is probably a deal breaker (although who knows?? my friend with a baby owns and lives in a 2br coop on the 3rd floor of a walk-up).

    I would go nuts if Mr. Brightside went shopping without me. You are brave. I am sure you will find something amazing amazing amazing. It will be perfect, and you will decorate the shit out of it, and it will be beautiful and comfortable and cozy and full of love and hearts and rainbows and chevrons and stuff.

  11. Infertility Can Suck It #
    May 7, 2013

    Sent from my Verizon Wireless 4GLTE smartphone

  12. May 9, 2013

    I like the checklist you made. Skype is now available for phones. Maybe the Professor can show you the place before you get there?

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