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Rotisserie Chicken

05/22/2013

Belle

Thanks for all your supportive comments on Monday night’s explosion re:baby going breech. I wrote a big ranty vent again yesterday, but deleted it before I could hit publish – you all know how I feel about this. I did not need to blast you a second time! While I’m still mad as hell that I can’t just have one normal thing about this pregnancy, I’m a little less ranty now and a little more determined to do everything in my power to make this baby turn. All I want is a natural delivery after a VERY unnatural conception. Surely this is not too much to ask?

Since getting the news, I have emailed Dr. Shannon who assured me that 34 weeks is NOT too late to turn baby, and recommended I look into chiropractics,  acupuncture and the HypnoBabies breech CD in addition to swimming when possible. I also met with my acupuncturist and started Moxibustionon Bladder 67 points two to three times a day (she sent me home with a DIY Moxi kit). My doula got the next frantic email and also recommended HypnoBabies breech CD and a chiropractor in town who is certified in the Webster Technique to pass along. I am meeting with him today at 4:30. And finally, I read through every. single. page at SpinningBabies.com on breech babes and have been doing the recommended inversions.

So I’m doing everything in my power to encourage this little baby to turn and trying not to obsess over the expense. Really, what is another couple hundred after spending $20k to make the baby? It’s all about perspective, people!

Today it seems baby has been a lot more active. I don’t know if it is everything I’m doing, the baby trying to flip on its own or just my new obsession over where I’m feeling kicks and punches. Whatever it is, it gives me hope that there is still enough room in there for baby to make the flip without a doctor trying to do an ECV, which does make me nervous.

In addition to providing a lot of supportive comments, the breech post also brought out a lot of controversy. I’ve been trying to think of a way to address them, but am really grasping at straws so I think I’ll keep it short and sweet:

Birth is a highly personal endeavor and there is no right or wrong way to do it. I have not, do not and never will shun a woman for choosing an elective Cesarean or for choosing to proceed with vaginal birth even when it was highly risky. What ultimately matters is that we all get our miracle babies out and home safely, pride and flat abs be damned.

For me, a natural birth after a very unnatural conception and nine months of struggling to bond with my baby is very important. I’m still having a hard time connecting with this baby and feeling like it is “mine.” I don’t know if that makes sense, and I’m not looking for solutions, but I continue to struggle daily with conflicting emotions. One moment I feel overwhelming joy and love for this fetus and the next I feel intense fear and detachment over it. It’s complicated and scary and I had really hoped that through the experience of natural childbirth and pushing my baby into the world I might be able to start to heal from the traumas of infertility and find connection with my child. Not that I can’t and won’t heal and connect if I have a c-section! I know I will but it will take time and, I fear, more struggle.

I’ll be 35 weeks on Friday, which means there is still time to work on turning baby. Rather than begin addressing my negative feelings about cesarean, I am going to focus on doing everything I can to turn baby naturally. If we get to 37 weeks and baby is still stubbornly in a breech position I’ll move forward with whatever is best for my and baby’s health. I will also find a surgeon I feel comfortable with and who will meet me in the middle with my demands to be awake during the procedure and hold my baby skin to skin immediately following extraction- do not cross go, do not put artificial nipples in my baby’s mouth, do not put him or her under the warmers.

So there you have it. A loose plan to get my Chicken on the rotisserie and into the proper birthing position. I sure hope I have good news in the coming weeks!

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17 Comments

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  1. faith #
    May 22, 2013

    HERE HERE!! So empowering! This energy right here..is the energy you will need to tap in to when you push that baby out! And you will…I got chills! I am so glad you got the support you were looking for..SO THERE Telemed Doctor!!

    • May 22, 2013

      My sister turned breech at 37w and had it turned at 38w it can be done, she went onto have a natural vaginal birth with no epi. Dowe know whatbyounare having? If not I’m guessing boy 😉

  2. Krsitin #
    May 22, 2013

    Birth is very personal, and you have every right to discuss your hopes and dreams for birth without backlash. I’m rooting for a rotisserie chicken! Well, really, a chicken that is just on one loop of the rotisserie. No need to go round and round…

  3. May 22, 2013

    I learned a lot from the comments section of your Breech post. It gave me a lot to think about, particularly regarding why a baby is breech in the first place and how people view birthing options when baby is in this position.

    Though you and I differ as far as how we will be approaching birth, I’m in complete agreement with you that going through birth is a personal endeavor. Options one woman takes are not necessarily any better or worse as long as they result in a healthy baby and don’t endanger the lives of the mother or the child. I guess my only wish is that people be mindful of their opinions and open to the fact that not every birth is the same.

    Glad to hear that you’re working with Dr. Shannon, you acupuncturist and your doula to do what is best for you. Just focus on that and remember you are doing everything possible for your’s and Chicken’s health. That’s what’s most important.

  4. May 22, 2013

    I agree wholeheartedly with faith above. You are doing all the right things, Belle. Keep charging forward!

  5. Arbrefleur #
    May 22, 2013

    I just wanted to comment and say that I feel so exactly similar to the feelings you’ve expressed in this post. I have a low-lying placenta/frank breech situation after years of infertility treatments and surgeries, and ultimately, an IVF miracle. I only want to say that I am grateful for this post because it helps put words to how I feel. Also, what a wonderful comment above made by faith. (Of course, your comment was meant for the lovely Belle, Faith, 😉 🙂 but I’m going to take strength from your comment too. Thanks you guys!)

  6. May 22, 2013

    I just want to point out that “elective Cesarean” covers all c-sections that aren’t emergencies. It simply means “scheduled c-section.” The term is misleading, makes it sound like you just woke up one day and decided that a c-sectoin would be more attractive to you than a natural delivery so you booked it! I am very sensitive to this as my IL’s still like to say that I chose an “elective c-section” over natural birth, when in fact, my doctor wouldn’t let me deliver my frank breech baby vaginally. My IL’s believe that “elective” means that I had a choice. Ugh.

    I think you have PLENTY of time to let (and encourage) the chicken flip. My doctor wouldn’t even schedule my c-section until 36 weeks because he felt there was ample time for Matthew to flip – and we knew at 32 weeks that he was breech, breech, breech! I can tell you that we could feel Matthew trying to flip – he would get his head about half-way but then get sucked back up to the top of my uterus again. It was surreal. He tried several times to flip (even after 36 weeks), but he was HUGE and had that short cord. I think that the chicken, especially being in the 50th percentile for size, could easily flip for you! My sister flipped on my mom at 35 weeks, just 2 days before delivery, saving her from a third breech delivery. It CAN happen!

    No matter what – it’s going to be OK.

  7. May 22, 2013

    I love your confidence with your choices and decisions right now, and I totally understand the desire to have that empowering feeling of literally pushing your baby out and into this world. That feeling sure went a LONG way towards helping me to heal after an ALI journey. I’m sure hoping that Chicken decides to flip ASAP for you!

  8. jak #
    May 22, 2013

    great energy and direction!! glad you got on top of all this right away:)

    not sure how you and the prof feel, but even though my dh and i are birthing at a birth center, are so far LOA, we are still writing a birth plan to cover things if we get transferred, and, if a c-section is required. it sounds like you and prof husband already have some thoughts about what your plan B would look like. dont be afraid to think through them as if they will jinx your chicken flipping efforts.

    good luck and thinking flippy thoughts!!!!!!

  9. May 22, 2013

    Turn, baby, turn!

  10. May 22, 2013

    While I have no advice for you on how to get Chicken to turn, I will tell you that one of my twins was breech and turned around 34 weeks. It is possible!!! And imagine how little space they each had! Hope it gives you hope! Turn Chicken turn!

  11. May 22, 2013

    I’m glad you are having a positive attitude on this! (and just think, the extra couple hundred you’re spending on getting that little chicken to turn may very well work and save you lots of money on the delivery end 🙂 ) and so you know, our little muffin baking in my uterus was conceived in a bed (or on the couch or something in our home, I think) and I have ambivalent feelings sometimes too. I haven’t been through the rigorous journey you have, but I want you to know that what you’re feeling just happens, I think. It’s the first time we’ve been faced with the reality of parenthood and really, truly having a baby. I don’t know about you, but I have miniature panic attacks about the whole thing and worry I won’t be good enough… and I’m not trying to move across the country while all these feelings are brewing, so I can only imagine your anxiety level!!
    Hang in there. Baby’s turn. And if he/she doesn’t, it will still be your baby. Sending good vibes your way!

  12. Amy #
    May 22, 2013

    FYI, baby moon has a baby-turning massage service that may/may not work- worth a try?!? At least you’ll get a massage out of the deal 😉

  13. May 23, 2013

    You’re awesome. That’s all 🙂

  14. May 23, 2013

    Good luck! I am optimistic that your efforts will work.

  15. May 23, 2013

    Well put! I hope I didn’t come across in the comments as being pro-C-section and anti-breech deliveries or whatever… as you say, the ultimate decision has to be whatever YOU feel is best for you and the baby. I guess in terms of your fears about connecting with the Chicken, I would argue that you will very quickly fall in love with him/her regardless of the delivery method — I think it has less to do with the experience of birthing and more to do with that moment you stare into his/her eyes and cuddle and possibly breastfeed and all that jazz… those are the best moments!

  16. LMS #
    May 24, 2013

    I’m just catching up on your blog today, so I’m a couple of posts behind. I had a more than normal conception, pregnancy and birth, head first and all, but I have to confess that I still didn’t bond with him right away. In fact, it took six weeks until his first smile for me to feel that fabled rush of maternal love. I really thought it was never going to happen until then. Just to let you know…you’re doing all the right things as far as skin-to-skin and breastfeeding and fighting for a natural delivery, but even with all of that, please don’t be disappointed if you don’t feel that rush right away. I don’t know if most other mothers do, but I know I sure didn’t. I felt a lot of protectiveness and anxiety over him not eating enough, not accidentally smushing him and checking that he was still breathing every five minutes while he was sleeping, in the sling, or just being particularly quiet. That big rush of love didn’t come right away for me. But it did come, and it only grows as he gets older. Occasionally he smiles at me or looks a certain way and I feel it all over again, but amplified times a million. There is a lifetime of love to enjoy, no matter how the birth goes!

    A grad school friend liked to joke while I was pregnant that he was doing breakdancing-style head spins in there, wearing 80’s-style wristbands. Hoping that image puts a smile on your face, and inspires chicken to try some head-down moves!

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