How did this happen? Only one month left of this pregnancy… I wish I could say I was sad, but I’m not. I’ve been blessed with an easy pregnancy, but that does not mean I’m not ready to be able to tie my own shoes without grunting. And sneeze without peeing. And trim my lady parts by sight, not feel. AND HAVE A GLASS OF FREAKING PINOT NOIR!
I’m also getting antsy to meet this little bugger who started out in a petri dish and then hopped on board many months later. This is a big shift from my mentality from two weeks ago and I think that is largely due to finally coming to agreement on a name. We have had a girl name for months, but were really struggling with a boy name. Last week we found one we love SO MUCH. I retract my prior wishes for a girl and hope it is a boy simply because the name is just that perfect. It has a little bit of Belle, a little bit of Professor, it is unique but not hard to spell or say. It is dignified yet funky. It would fit a short or tall person (a real consideration when one takes into account our gene pool!) It’s just perfect!
So how am I feeling at 36 weeks? Pretty good, actually. I’m much more tired than I was at 33 weeks, though. This week I’ve been in bed every night between 8 and 8:30. I sleep great until about midnight and then toss and turn till 4:30 when I finally give up and drag myself out of bed.
After weeks and weeks of diligently doing the exercise videos, I’ve finally thrown in the towel – I can’t handle another second of Summer Sanders’ perkiness! Instead, I’ve started taking a brisk 45 minute walk in the morning and I’m enjoying it very much, aside from the chub rub I’m suddenly experiencing. The walks give me an extra chance to listen to a hypnobabies track, too. While I can’t be deep in hypnosis, I’m able to listen to the messages a little more intently and feel I’m learning a little more than when I lay down and listen them and drift off to sleep!
As for diet – I have a deep, dark confession for you all. I’ve been eating meat. Regularly. Not just the happy chickens we bought, but bison and free range happy turkey. I still can’t get enough scrambled eggs (hilarious, I know) and eat them nearly every morning with spinach, hummus, more hot sauce than my husband can stand to smell and a side of toast with earth balance. I’m absolutely certain that this breakfast accounts for at least 10 pounds of my weight gain. I started eating bison at about 24 weeks when I realized that there just are not enough beans in the world to satiate this protein crazed pregnant lady and I was SHOCKED by how good it is. Unfortunately it is $10 to $12 a pound so we don’t get it super frequently, nor are we allowed more than a proper 3-4 oz serving at a time.
I feel intense guilt every-time I open my mouth and put another animal product into it. I try to justify things by reminding myself that I’m pregnant and that I’m allowed to need more than beans and tofu, but I still feel sad. I only buy local meats from creatures who truly had a good life and are not pumped full of creepy feeds and drugs, but the guilt continues. Bison are cute, y’all. I call my baby “chicken.” And that Thanksgiving turkey? I actually met it before we picked up it’s slaughtered remains and it had such a sassy personality. I realize that if I’m able to breast feed I will likely need to continue eating some meat to help my supply, and I’m coming to terms with that. I do look forward to not obsessively counting my protein grams daily, though, and am super excited to return to having some days be dedicated to nothing but green. My VitaMix and I have grown apart during this pregnancy… don’t worry old friend, mama will be back soon to blend up all kinds of green concoctions that make the Professor gag.
What else? My wardrobe is dwindling. Two of the pants I purchased just are no longer comfortable and several shirts are getting dangerously short. I’ve pretty much resigned myself to knit skirts, my one pair of jeans and ribbed tanks from here on out. Luckily no one seems to care at the office. I had a little fashion crisis last Friday, about 15 minutes before we had to leave for our maternity photos. The dyer ate the cute navy dress I had planned to wear leaving me with nothing dressy and fitted to wear! After some tears and some yelling I pulled on a white tank and a long teal skirt and called it “good enough.” We’ll view the photos on Monday and I’ll let you know how my last minute selection turned out. I’m hopping for a casual earth mama look and NOT a frumpy “I’m super pregnant and my thighs touch” look!
On the work front, I’ve finally set an official “end date.” My last day will be my due date, June 28. If Chicken comes before that we’ll work it out. I met with HR this week to figure out how I handle purchasing Cobra coverage for two months. I was pleasantly surprised when they told me I did not need to. I can take 6 weeks of unpaid FMLA time, and then return to work for ONE full day. That full day of work will be my final day at my job and then I’ll be released. Tentative plan is to work Monday, August 12 and then move later that week. I’m SO thankful for this. Two months of Cobra for baby and me would have been $2k. That is a lot of money when you are trying to shovel as much as humanly possible into savings.
And finally, I went ahead and finally checked out that “cart” of final baby things we need. I feel like we now have all the supplies necessary for a new born and very little “extra” stuff. Still have not opened things, but that will come when I’m ready. For the now, I can rest easily knowing that Chicken has a place to sleep, diapers, blankies and three drawers of gender neutral hand-me-downs. I think we are going to be ok!
Oh, and for those wondering, baby is still breech, or maybe transverse, definitely still a butt headed octopus. Attempts to turn before the ultrasound on June 6 continue. Rotisserie chicken vibes are greatly appreciated!