Beans, beans the musical fruit.
The more you eat the more you toot.
Unless you are stuffed to the gills with a baby. Then you become what I fondly refer to as “fartipated.”
I’ve been craving beans more than usual the past few weeks. Over the weekend the Professor and I decided to cook two double batches of our favorite quick and easy bean meals in preparation for my hospital stay and recovery – delicious Turkish Lentil Soup and this fabulous easy peasy red beans and rice. Professor made me the lentil soup on Wednesday and I devoured two big bowls. On Thursday I took my morning walk and had the WORST CRAMPS EVER. And farted the entire way. For some reason the cramp/fart connection did not dawn on me so I had more lentils for lunch and even more lentils for dinner.
This morning I woke up and HOLY HELL the pain is excruciating. I immediately thought the worst: placental abruption! And then I walked downstairs and farted with every step and realized that the pains MIGHT be caused by trapped gas. I’ve sounded like a horn ensemble the rest of the morning. It’s not pretty, however the cat who lives for things that smell like ass has been quite fond of me. I’ll take what love I can get.
Seems that I might be so full of baby that the gas is having a hard time working its way out. When Chicken flails some farts exit, or when I walk or wiggle around I can move some. Otherwise, I’m just in pain. Today’s planned lunch of more lentil soup has been nixed for a veggie sandwich from the cafe a block away and dinner plans have been changed from burgers and baked beans to baked fish and rice. My intestines might need a break.
This is a really lovely post isn’t it? I aim to please 🙂
Not only is today my official “due date,” it is also my last day at work and I’m too exhausted (and fartipated) to really do any real celebrating. I have a press release to write, several event fliers to produce and a final brochure order to place. Then I’m going to eat my non-fart producing dinner and hope I wake up with fewer gas pains. Oh, and yoga is supposed to happen before then, which reminds me that I should pick up some Gas-X before that. No one wants to yoga next to the gassy pregnant lady who has binged on beans.
Happy Friday, sweet readers. When I come to you again next week I hope to be typing from a hospital room with a snugly healthy baby on my chest. Until then, have a delightful weekend free of gas pains and packed with something tasty. Like cake. Eat some cake for me and email me a photo. Maybe I’ll post them on my blog as part of the Chicken Celebration 2013 🙂