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40 weeks: Beans Beans the Musical Fruit…



photo (2)

The last ugly bathroom belly photo. I swear that this weekend I will photograph the full term belly properly… with a real camera… sans ugly ass wallpaper… maybe with my hair done (that’s a big maybe).

Beans, beans the musical fruit.
The more you eat the more you toot.

Unless you are stuffed to the gills with a baby. Then you become what I fondly refer to as “fartipated.”

I’ve been craving beans more than usual the past few weeks. Over the weekend the Professor and I decided to cook two double batches of our favorite quick and easy bean meals in preparation for my hospital stay and recovery – Β delicious Turkish Lentil Soup and this fabulous easy peasy red beans and rice. Professor made me the lentil soup on Wednesday and I devoured two big bowls. On Thursday I took my morning walk and had the WORST CRAMPS EVER. And farted the entire way. For some reason the cramp/fart connection did not dawn on me so I had more lentils for lunch and even more lentils for dinner.

This morning I woke up and HOLY HELL the pain is excruciating. I immediately thought the worst: placental abruption! And then I walked downstairs and farted with every step and realized that the pains MIGHT be caused by trapped gas. I’ve sounded like a horn ensemble the rest of the morning. It’s not pretty, however the cat who lives for things that smell like ass has been quite fond of me. I’ll take what love I can get.

Seems that I might be so full of baby that the gas is having a hard time working its way out. When Chicken flails some farts exit, or when I walk or wiggle around I can move some. Otherwise, I’m just in pain. Today’s planned lunch of more lentil soup has been nixed for a veggie sandwich from the cafe a block away and dinner plans have been changed from burgers and baked beans to baked fish and rice. My intestines might need a break.

This is a really lovely post isn’t it? I aim to please πŸ™‚

Not only is today my official “due date,” it is also my last day at work and I’m too exhausted (and fartipated) to really do any real celebrating. I have a press release to write, several event fliers to produce and a final brochure order to place. Then I’m going to eat my non-fart producing dinner and hope I wake up with fewer gas pains. Oh, and yoga is supposed to happen before then, which reminds me that I should pick up some Gas-X before that. No one wants to yoga next to the gassy pregnant lady who has binged on beans.

Happy Friday, sweet readers. When I come to you again next week I hope to be typing from a hospital room with a snugly healthy baby on my chest. Until then, have a delightful weekend free of gas pains and packed with something tasty. Like cake. Eat some cake for me and email me a photo. Maybe I’ll post them on my blog as part of the Chicken Celebration 2013 πŸ™‚




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  1. APE #
    June 28, 2013

    Oh my gosh! I can’t even believe how fast this time has gone! You will have Chicken in your arms on MONDAY!!!!!! I am so excited for you. Life is about to change like you could never guess, but eventually it will feel normal. I promise. The first few weeks are the hardest because of the adjustments. When my mom was alive, she always said the same thing to every woman she knew who was about to have a baby, and I will pass it to you. “Children bring us the greatest happiness, but also the greatest heartache.” Lots of love to you! I can’t wait to read your blog next week!

  2. Jennifer #
    June 28, 2013

    I am so excited for you that Chicken will be here soon! Every time I see an email telling of a new blog post I’m hoping it’ll be a Chicken Has Arrived announcement. But, that will be just next week!! I’m sending good juju your way and know that everything will go swimmingly and I can’t wait to see pictures!

  3. June 28, 2013

    Sending you all my warmest wishes a you begin this new adventure!

    You look great!


  4. June 28, 2013

    YAY! Happy due date and I hope you have a wonderful, safe, healthy, happy delivery experience!

  5. June 28, 2013

    Happy Due Date!!! And wow- I LOVE that dress & that beautiful bump. You look amazing. Sending lots of good delivery vibes your way- can’t wait to see pictures of your sweet little one!

    • June 28, 2013

      Lol! Jules, you are funny. That would be a non maternity cheap skirt from old navy, a non maternity cheap tank from target and a sweater from Ann Taylor that is about a zillion years old. I had a little fashion meltdown this morning so your kind words make me feel better πŸ™‚

      • June 28, 2013

        You rocked it ALL! Seriously. You look beautiful and your bump is perfect.

  6. June 28, 2013

    Eeeeee!!! It blows my mind that this time has finally arrived!! I will most definitely try to source some cake this weekend — there’s a place near me that makes insanely good vegan carrot cake (had it for our wedding), so maybe I’ll pair that with some fried chicken in your honour (jk). In the mean time, enjoy the freedom of being off work and for gawd sakes STOP EATING BEANS LADY! Your heart is plenty good as is. πŸ™‚

  7. Kathy #
    June 28, 2013

    You look amazing, can’t wait for the next installment. I will be eating cake this weekend. Sorry can’t send a pic- I don’t have your email, but it will be delicious ! All my best wishes ! Chicken is sooo lucky to have such awesome parents !

  8. June 28, 2013

    Happy meeting wiht your baby!! You deserve all the happiness that is coming your way! Xoxox

  9. June 28, 2013

    You are an adorable pregnant human. And you’re almoooost there!

  10. SM #
    June 28, 2013

    You’re so close to having little Chicken here!!! Bring on the snugly baby!

  11. June 28, 2013

    As a former yoga instructor, I can tell you that people fart in class CONSTANTLY. Occupational hazard. You will be no different than your classmates if somewhat more musical. I say, make it rain (farts).

  12. June 28, 2013

    I’ve been having a similar problem, except that I still have at least 2 more months to go. Oddly enough, lying on my left side has been helping with relieving the gas. Don’t ask me why this works, but Grey now knows to leave me alone with all the windows open for 30-40 minutes in the evening.

    Congratulations on hitting 40 weeks! Chicken’s arrival is just around the corner!

  13. June 28, 2013

    Good luck for your delivery!As I type this I have my little guy in my arms – he decided to arrive last thurs via emergency c-section. I can tell you as a terrible healer,that it really wasnt that bad.I was up and walking by the next morning and a week later,I am almost feeling like a normal person again.It was an amazing experience and as you are completely numb from the waist down,you arent distracted by pain so you can fully experience the miracle as it happens.And yes,if you look up into those lights you can see everything!!!!!My hubby stayed on my right side,holding my hand and didnt have to see a thing…he peeked once and that was it.And you really dont notice the time they take to clean baby up as it is that fast _ trust me,you want the chicken cleaned off first though before doing skin to skin. My doctor pulled baby out and showed him to me over the drape first and he looked like a little blue buddha.Just try and relax and take as much in as you can and trust the amazing medical team you have chosen .Ill be waiting to hear how everything went and thinking of you.

  14. June 28, 2013

    So close! I can’t wait to hear from you next with that sweet, much anticipated Chicken in your arms. You deserve this hon. Congrats on finding your happy ending. Thinking of you all.

  15. June 28, 2013

    dude, I swear to you I am just as big and have 11 weeks to go. you have just rocked the shit out of this pregnancy, and you should be proud!

    now, have a great weekend, and then go HAVE A BABY! can’t wait to read all about it! still voting boy πŸ™‚

  16. Shinara #
    June 29, 2013

    Oh, Belle, good luck to the three of you! Farts and all. Babe wants to come out. Oh, and don’t knock out the doctors and nurses once Chicken is out because all that gas will finally have an escape valve! πŸ˜‰

  17. 35life #
    June 30, 2013

    So close now! So excited for you!

  18. Jen #
    June 30, 2013

    Best of luck tomorrow,I’ll be

  19. Jen #
    June 30, 2013

    …Thinking about you ! Can’t wait to hear the news! Also, commenting from the iPad with a newborn on your boob is no easy feat, hence the premature posting.

  20. jak #
    June 30, 2013

    HOLY CRAP, BELLE, TOMORROW YOU ARE GOING TO BE A MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    i am so happy for you:) can’t wait to see those chicken legs and smiling mama holding them. you’re totally not going to be able to put the kid down. i promise. you’re just going to want to stare at chicken and smell chicken and take naps with chicken….

    i will be thinking about you!! all the best!!!!!!

  21. Karaleen #
    July 1, 2013

    You look AWESOME!!!!! Wow. 40 weeks looks good on you. I am sooo excited for you….you are having a baby tomorrow! One journey is ending and another is starting…..only a handful of events are as life changing as this one. You are going to LOVE it!!!!! I am saying some extra prayers all goes well for you in the morning. Can’t wait to see you with your chicken!

  22. July 1, 2013

    Thinking about you today!! What a wonderful day for a birthday. Much love to you, the Prof, and Chicken. Cannot wait to e-meet that chickadee!

  23. Mel #
    July 1, 2013

    Thinking about you and your little Chicken. Wishing you all the best sendin love

  24. Arbrefleur #
    July 1, 2013

    Thinking of you today. So excited for you!!!

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