19 days till our move and I wake up sick as a dog today. Fever, chills, body aches and a damn sore boob with a big hard lump that I can’t seem to pump out. Sabine keeps turning her nose up at lefty like it is toxic, too. I would venture to guess lefty is infected. Just what I need when we are scrambling to close on the co-op, secure our movers, handle logistics, prepare for a garage sale on Saturday and more.
All of this while I try to nurse, snuggle and play with an increasingly active Sabine. We had a jolly good time yesterday afternoon sitting in my lap, watching Sopranos, reading a book and making faces and jazz hands. It was the first time I felt like she was more a little human and less a little parasite. It was wonderful and I was eager for more today. Now I’m playing the nurse her, swaddle her and put her to sleep for an hour game so I can get a tiny bit of rest. Hopefully the Professor will have some time tonight to interact with her. Poor dear looks so bored.
I also need to take a quick moment to clarify something after receiving a comment this morning re: my last post. Yes, breastfeeding is hard but for all intents and purposes we are doing it successfully, meaning Sabine is growing and thriving and up until today my boobs were doing what they needed to. Latch issues, pacifying, exhaustion and possible tongue tie are all normal challenges and NOT reasons to stop. I do not intend to stop breastfeeding until I am directly harming my child. While I know that comments saying “it is ok to quit” are meant to be supportive, they are not. I need to be reminded to press on, and that challenges are normal. I need stories of triumph, not of failure. And now I’m going to step off my soap box and wake this baby and beg her to please suck the lump out of lefty. 🙂