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Yesterday I showered… and plans for my future

11/13/2013

Belle

You guys, thank you for all the great comments. Yesterday was a particularly rough day. Sabine had not slept well that night (3 wakings and then UP for the day at 4:30 a.m.) and I had gotten off our schedule of regularly planned activities with other moms. For two weeks we have missed play group, story time at the Library, walks and other planned meet-ups. I don’t think this is particularly good for my sanity or for Sabine’s sanity. I worry that looking at my face and the cats all day long might grow boring and monotonous. So after reading comments and having a good ugly cry as my baby slept in my arms with boob in her mouth for the fourth time that day, I took a shower. I washed my hair, which is still falling out by the handful, and then I put on LOTION and a tiny bit of makeup. I didn’t look much better, but I felt and smelled a lot better and Sabine had clean milk makers!

A lot of you suggested I look for part time work. Where I live and in my field part time work does not pay enough to cover the ridiculous cost of childcare. I have looked into freelance but to be quite honest, I don’t think I could produce quality writing while a baby was crying in the other room. You see how my blog is lately!

Two weeks ago I went back and started really looking at my Plan B – personal training. I visited the school in Manhattan and was way impressed with their program. Both founders had recently had a baby and both alluded to needing some scientific assistance in becoming pregnant. I talked to my husband, I looked at starting salaries, I talked to other personal trainers in the area and then I took the plunge – I enrolled in vocational school. Yesterday I stopped staring at them and signed loan papers taking another student loan to fund my continuing education.

In January I will start a nine month program that will prepare me to sit for the certification exam, provide internship experience and prepare me to enter the workforce at a higher pay grade than if I just sat for the exam alone. I have set a five year goal to own my own business working exclusively with women undergoing infertility treatments and those pre and postnatal.

Am I sad to leave the marketing/PR world? Not really. These jobs are being cut left and right while salaries dwindle and cost of living skyrockets. I am confident my writing background, marketing expertise and work in the small business world will help me grow my business into something both profitable and fulfilling. I look forward to becoming an “expert” in a new field and writing about it. I hope to one day submit expert editorial about fitness and nutrition to publications. I hope to one day roll Scrambled Eggs into my business as a place for other women struggling through infertility to connect and seek inspiration. I have big plans.

Taking this jump at the age of 33 with little in the bank is scary. But standing still or drifting backwards is even more scary so I’m choosing to move forward. I’m working to be the strong, independent, resourceful woman I want Sabine to know and that I hope Sabine becomes. Ahhh, I just looked down and Sabine has fallen asleep by my side. It’s as though she knew Mama needed a little time to write more than four paragraphs. I think I’ll have another cup of coffee and watch the sunrise over my NYC apartment. Cheers to you all, and thank you again for your encouragement!

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10 Comments

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  1. Jen #
    November 13, 2013

    What a perfect plan for you! I think you’ll make an amazing trainer and I think just having a goal will make such a difference in your everyday happiness. Give that sweet, albeit high maintenance baby a kiss for me.

  2. November 13, 2013

    I LOVE this plan!!! (and am more than slightly jealous that you’re just taking the leap and doing it)
    Inspiration for sure…

  3. jak #
    November 13, 2013

    THIS IS EXCELLENT!!!!!!!!!! what a great idea. i actually got my pilates instructor cert a few weeks ago (it was on my post-pregnancy whoop ass more after baby than before bucket list) and teaching part time for me has been a great distraction from baby. i can only imagine it would be a million times better to elevate that into a career like you plan. you will be GREAT at this. i am totally excited for you!!!!!!!!!

  4. November 13, 2013

    Congrats! So excited for you and love reading about you and your adventures as a new mom. At 19 weeks, I have a lot to prepare for as this baby grows inside in me. Thank you for sharing your struggles and triumphs! You are going to be an excellent “coach.”

  5. November 13, 2013

    Those are some excellent plans. I always envisioned play dates and coffee every day too. And I would do it for sure…..except I have nobody to go with :(. I’ve made a few mom friends but they are all the way across town and we can never get the timing right between naps and driving. The few I’ve met nearby are not people I have really clicked with. It kind of sucks.
    The new job plan sounds fantastic. And yay for showering!!!! Ps – my hair was a total disaster falling out as well, but somehow is now healthier than ever, so hopefully that comes soon!!

  6. November 13, 2013

    Wow! I am so proud of you! You are amazing and set a great example not only for Sabine, but for all of us who are trying to navigate these choppy waters and strive to do and be better. Thank you! And good luck!

  7. karaleen #
    November 13, 2013

    You can do it mama. These early months are hard for everyone….even those with the low needs babies (is there really such a thing?)…I stayed home for the first 9 months when my son was born. I found it very lonely. I knew I was going back to work so I didn’t actively get involved in too many mommy group things because I didn’t want to have to leave them. My son (after the first 8 weeks or so) was actually a very happy baby and slept well….but he was a BABY….they really are very needy….happy or not. I just never felt like I could start and complete a task without interruption…and he was totally content…until I wanted a shower….uhg. We did get out…walks, the mall, the occasional meet up with a friend who was a SAHM. But mostly it was just me and him and I will admit….I found it really really hard and very isolating. I missed adult conversation and I felt over touched from all the nursing and holding and such. But then….just when you think you can’t take it…they start sitting up and playing on their own and will actually take a nap here and there and start sleeping a bit more at night. I think your plan is great because you are following your passion instead of just going back to doing something just to make some money. I really think you will be good at it and you are in a great place for it. Good luck and keep us posted.
    kd

  8. arbrefleur #
    November 14, 2013

    This is totally awesome. Congrats! What a huge inspiration!!

  9. nonsequiturchica #
    November 14, 2013

    I love your new plan and think that you are going to ROCK it! Other than my neighbor, I don’t know anyone around here that has a new baby so I am actively seeking out meetup groups and other avenues so that I make sure i get out of the house this winter!!

  10. November 16, 2013

    Go girl! You can do it. When you become a mother, you will do anything to provide for your family. This sounds like a good fit. Good luck.

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