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Still here… so tired

12/10/2013

Belle

I am still here, and still exhausted. It is official, I have the worst sleeper of all the mommy’s in my little mommy mafia. Sabine turned 5 months last week and with it came ZERO sleep improvement, but lots of adorable new milestones. Cuteness aside, I’m beat and starting to wonder how I can possibly start school if she is still sleeping this poorly come January 18. We head to Alabama for Christmas next week so sleep training now would be pointless. I am also just not convinced that Cry It Out (CIO) is right for my kid. I am vowing to do something January 1, though. She will be six months then and if we are still waking multiple times a night, not napping during the day and being UP for the day at 3:30 a.m. I will call in a specialist. I don’t care how much it costs, something has to give. I can no longer function on 3-5 hours of sleep a night.

I am hoping writing this here will help hold me accountable. And now Sabine has woken from her… lets see… 7 minute nap at 5:30 in the morning. Must go fetch her again. Encouragement is very much appreciated, horror stories are not welcome.

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28 Comments

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  1. December 10, 2013

    Have you tried a Merlin magic sleep suit?

    • December 10, 2013

      Yep. It improved sleep to what it is now. Just bought two size large suits for when she outgrows the small and am considering making more to
      Fit her until she is 18 πŸ™‚

      • December 10, 2013

        I’m no sleep expert by any means. Google Isis Parenting and they have free webinars ranging in topics anything from sleep to breast-feeding. You can also get a paid consultation to them over the phone.

        • Beth #
          December 10, 2013

          Want to second the ISIS Parenting recommendation. Nancy Holtzman and her ilk are goddesses of sleep and the consultations are well worth the money, particularly if you have a kid that doesn’t tolerate CIO.

  2. December 10, 2013

    No suggestions, just sympathy and well wishes. I feel your pain. We haven’t found a sleep solution either, and I also don’t think crying it out is for us. Is she generally happy and energetic and just doesn’t need that much sleep, or is she cranky and exhausted all the time, and just has a hard time staying asleep? Just curious.

  3. December 10, 2013

    Just chiming in to say you’re not alone. We have NO rhythm to Bryson’s night time sleep. Sometimes, we get a 4 hour first stretch before he’s then up every hour or two. Sometimes, we get 2 hours and then a big stretch. And most times, we get 3 hours and then up every 1-2 hours before I put him in our bed (last night). I nap with the boys during the day for 1-2 hours to make up for it.

    we start Ferber January 1.

  4. December 10, 2013

    Something that has helped us is glow in the dark pacifiers and whenever Little Monster wakes up, my spouse goes to give her a pacifier first. Sometimes that works for an hour or more, sometimes not, but it helped cut down on wake ups and she doesn’t get used to midnight snacking unless she’s actually hungry. We also play music on repeat all night so if she wakes up it’s familiar and associated with bedtime. Teething really messes with sleeping and after lots of good sleep she now sleeps exactly the 8 hours from ibuprofen time and wakes up really sad. Hopefully it gets better soon. If you haven’t checked out Troublesome Tots dot com I also highly recommend it. Very helpful.

  5. Nene #
    December 10, 2013

    It is like torture, isn’t it?

    If it is any consolation, my son slept in 90 minute bursts until he was 6/7 months old, then continued to wake 2-3 times a night (with each waking being approximately 1 hour long) until he was a year old. At that point, he suddenly, inexplicably started sleeping all night. It happened right around the time he really got interested in solid food, but maybe it was a coincidence. He’s 2.5 now and I can count on 1 hand the number of sleepless nights we’ve had since then, always related to illness. The kid goes down in his own bed at 7 and we don’t see him again til 7 the next morning. We didn’t “do” anything to precipitate this change.

    It’s hard to have faith that it’ll ever get better when you’re in the thick of it. Take care of yourself the best you can. You’re doing a good job.

  6. December 10, 2013

    I was definitely not ready for CIO at 5 months either. Stella would go down around 9pm and then either wake up at 1 and 4, or at 1 and … every hour until morning. She also napped in 20 minute increments until around 7 months when she suddenly switched to 1.5 hour naps. You’re not alone!

    Around 7 months something had to give at night, and I started a couple of things.

    1) Practicing “the pause.” When she started crying, I’d wait 5 minutes before going in. Sometimes it felt like the longest 5 minutes in the world, but we started realizing that she could often settle herself if we gave her those 5 minutes (this applied to night time AND nap time). If she was still obviously riled up and awake after 5min, then I’d go in and rock and nurse her.
    2) Starting the process of night weaning. It took me that long to feel comfortable that her belly was full enough and it was just habit to eat all the time – so I started cutting down how long I let her nurse on each side. 5 min each side one night, then 4 min ea, then 3 min ea, etc… slowly she got used to not needing the boob/quick snack to fall back asleep.

    I hope one or both of those tips can help you! It’s really hard to function on so little sleep.

  7. Jillian #
    December 10, 2013

    CIO and most if not all of your sleep troubled will be over in 3 days. Terrible hard days but then it will.be.over. And she will still love you and develop properly. The older you wait, the harder it is. I have 4 great kids, and I run a daycare at my house. I promise it works.

  8. APE #
    December 10, 2013

    Cry it out is not as bad as it sounds…it’s not like you are putting her down and leaving her. You literally go and check on them every few minutes, leaving a little more time between each check and before you know it they are asleep. I have been catching up on another blog that I read and they had the same exact reaction to the CIO method at first, but then tried it and felt okay about it. I will try to forward that to you via email if you are interested.

  9. Aspgriswold #
    December 10, 2013

    We recently started CIO and it has worked wonders. It was tough getting over the initial hump but so worth it. Parents and babies are much happier (we have twins). Check out this blog post about it. We followed the format suggested at the end: http://noobmommy.com/2008/11/to-ferberize-or-not-to-ferberize.html

  10. December 10, 2013

    I am reading “Dream Baby Guide.” I really like the ideas in this book. Seriously. I got the Kindle edition of the book. It’s very comprehensive. I was SO ANTI sleep training of any kind. But… Tabs wakes up every hour and I CAN’T DO THIS ANY MORE. But one thing I LOVE about this book is it is so comprehensive about the day time too, and she basically is like “if you do all of these things, and prepare all of these things, we want to MINIMIZE crying completely. We want almost no crying if possible. But some crying is expected, but let me explain to you the different types of crying..” and it made sense to me anyway. I think we will attempt over the Christmas break when I am home and have more control over her schedule.

  11. Amy #
    December 10, 2013

    There are so many ways to ‘survive’ this phase. Co-sleeping is our method & it really works for our family. I’m sure you will find the solution that works best for you. It won’t last forever, just buy stock in Starbucks until it passes.

  12. December 10, 2013

    So sorry, Belle!
    A month is a looong time for a 5 month old and a lot can happen or change during that time. I know it was around the 7 month marker that we finally started seeing better sleep at night. I truly feel that for us (me) co-sleeping helped me get more sleep than if I didn’t do it. And CIO was not for us..I couldn’t handle it.

  13. jak #
    December 10, 2013

    i’m sorry, belle:( there is a lot that can happen even in a few weeks though, so hang in there!

    3 things that i think make our kid a reasonably successful sleeper: cosleeping, side-laying nursing, and no night diaper changes.

    we DID NOT do cio. there’s no way in hell we would. ever since he was born, we always let him sleep between us, and i think that gave him the security to sleep on his own. now he wakes up, nurses til full (sidelaying), we both drift off, then when he gets sick of hearing his dad snore, he gripes a little and we put him in his packnplay at the end of our bed and he goes to sleep, usually until the alarm goes off. there are good nights and bad nights, but mostly good. he is starting to teeth though, so we could be in for some changes.

    we dont change diapers at night anymore unless its an obvious poo. that just wakes everybody up too much.

    before getting to worried, maybe try letting the bean sleep in your bed if you are open to it, and i’d say definitely nurse sidelaying so you can get some sleep while she eats. if i was still getting up at night, changing diapers and nursing in the chair, i’d have to quit my job because i’d be a zombie.

    good luck!!!!!!

  14. karaleen #
    December 10, 2013

    I’m so sorry. I had a good sleeper and a bad sleeper. CIO worked for one and not the other. Actually…nothing worked for the bad sleeper. UHG!!! But…I didn’t really try very hard either…cuz I was just too damn tired. Sleep….it really is the toughest part of the first year. When you are ready….try EVERYTHING for three days….you are bound to find something that works πŸ™‚ Good luck. Hang in there. I will send sleepy vibes Sabine’s way.
    kd

  15. December 10, 2013

    I promise it gets better. My girl was not the best sleeper either, and things didn’t improve until she was 6 months (9 months now, and STTN like a champ… usually). It’s so hard. I cannot imagine your exhaustion. No naps?!?! Ugh. Hang in there, Mama.

  16. December 10, 2013

    I don’t know what books you’ve read/looked in to. There are a couple that come to mind. The No Cry Sleep Solution, and Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Baby (Weissbluth). I haven’t read the first, and only the twin version of the latter. But, what I like about the latter is that reading it helped me understand babies sleep better and he gives a few different ways of training, including CIO and graduated CIO. Maybe try getting a few different sleep books from the library and see what strikes a chord with you? Every baby and every momma is different. Do what works for you and your baby and know that you’re always doing what you feel is in her best interest and trust your gut.

  17. December 10, 2013

    It sucks…big time. I just Ferbered Avery. Same age..and it was two days of night crying. Then out of no where….sleep…
    Best of luck. We’re all here for you to vent.

  18. December 10, 2013

    I’m so sorry belle. Sleep deprivation is definitely torture and five months….no words. But you are definitely not the only one. You do what you have to do, and don’t do what you can’t do. But definitely make use of that husband of yours and catch some sleep where possible. No need to nurse on every wake. Make the professor take the baby for a long walk while you sleep, or get up with her every time she gets up in less than so many hours. You’ve done it for 5 months, he can survive off a couple bad nights.
    Good luck! It WILL pass. She will get sick of it too one day.

  19. December 11, 2013

    Lack of sleep is pure hell. And it takes away so much of the joy you want to have being around your baby.

    My only advice is to do what you feel in your gut is best for you and Sabine. Although I’m completely against CIO for me and Seamus, I know that for some parents it’s the only thing that worked for them. No two situations are the same, so it’s hard to say with any certainty that Thing A or Thing B is going to be what works for you.

    Good luck. I hope you can both get some rest soon!

  20. December 11, 2013

    ❀ ❀ It is hard to do anything with that kind of lack of sleep! Good luck!!!!

  21. December 12, 2013

    I use magnesium salts which I get from http://www.therific.co.za. They have a product called Kiddy calm which is scented salts you throw in baby’s bath water and it works brilliantly for teething as well as sleeping. If you can’t get any there check your local health shops for magnesium or epson salts.

  22. December 19, 2013

    Archie went through a really rough patch for almost 6 weeks and it got a little better around 6 months. Only I finally gave up on having him sleep in his bassinet and just pulled him in bed we all did a lot better. 14 months now and he’s still in bed with us. It’s not what I wanted initially but it works. He still nurses a couple times a night but I mostly sleep through them. Some kids just need a little more comfort then others and want their parents close. Nap when you can mama, it will eventually get better :-/ xoxo

  23. Infertility Can Suck It #
    January 13, 2014

    Hope you all had great results and are coming out on the other end unscathed. Our little man is going through separation anxiety, so we’re up every 2 hours. ARGH!!!! Just keep reminding myself….this too shall pass πŸ™‚ Hope you’re getting lots of great sleep!!

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