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Sleep training? What sleep training?

01/21/2014

Belle

I have at least five drafts on this lurking in WordPress but never get enough baby-free time to complete one. Sigh.

Merry Christmas! One of Sabine's 5 month photos shot by Mama in her "studio." (Studio is our bedroom!)

Merry Christmas! One of Sabine’s 5 month photos shot by Mama in her “studio.” (Studio is our bedroom!)

In mid-December we rented a car and drove from NYC to Alabama for a week, then drove to Lexington for a weekend and then drove back to NYC. It was a long, fun trip. It was also a sleepless trip, as Sabine just did not love all her new cribs. I can somewhat understand – I don’t always enjoy hotel beds myself. We made an agreement with my family that this year we would not be exchanging gifts. This was a great arrangement as it helped everyone out financially and relieved a lot of gift buying stress (seriously, what DO you buy your 60+ year old pack rat parents other than a date with the cast of “Hoarders”?) I guess my brother missed this memo though because he brought us all the gift that keeps giving… a terrible cold.

See that tall guy? Wait... there are lots of tall guys. See that tall guy in the center with the grey t-shirt with a t-rex doing pushups on it? Yeah, that guy brought us the Christmas Cold. Thanks buddy :)

See that tall guy? Wait… there are lots of tall guys. See that tall guy in the center with the grey t-shirt with a t-rex doing pushups on it? Yeah, that guy brought us the Christmas Cold. Thanks buddy ๐Ÿ™‚

The Professor, Sabine and I returned from our journey with terrible congestionย and a baby with a cold is not a baby who needs sleep trained so we gave it a few nights till her nose cleared. Then we dug in.

The first night went pretty well. She was down within about 10 minutes and woke up a few times and was able to self soothe back to sleep within 30 minutes each wakeup. It was hard but I felt that it was going surprisingly well. The second night she went down in two minutes. I proudly logged into Facebook to toot my own horn (MISTAKE). That night she woke up every one to two hours sobbing. But I was committed to the program. I would not rock or nurse her. I WOULD find sleep success. The next morning I picked her up at 4 a.m. when I smelled poop and found she was burning up. When I opened her diaper I was met with The Poop Of Doom.

If you sleep train me, I will shit all over the place... and then infect you with the worst stomach flu ever!

If you sleep train me, I will shit all over the place… and then infect you with the worst stomach flu ever!

Turns out Sabine had norovirus and I had let her cry all night despite her feeling terrible. In my defense, I checked her each time she cried and she never felt unusually warm till the 4 a.m. change, but still. Who the hell sleep trains tortures their sick child? So all sleep training was off then and my sweet little girl spent the next 36 hours pooping her brains out.

I am a first time parent with a rockstar (re: overactive) immune system. We joke that the upside to my insanely overly active immune system that attacks my own body from time to time is that I never get sick. I have had a true stomach flu once in my adult life. I get my annual cold, but almost never get a sickness that knocks me on my ass. Because of this I am not vigilant with hand washing when it comes to changing a diaper (don’t judge). Instead of racing for the hand sanitizer or antibacterial soap, I just take a clean wipe after the change and clean my hands that way. It is less drying to my skin and faster for Sabine.

Honestly, it never occurred to me that whatever was happening in my child’s digestive tract could not be cleaned off of my hands with a baby wipe. Never. Two days after Sabine had shat herself silly I woke up and proceeded to vomit for 6 hours straight. By the end of my six hour shift I was just barfing up stomach acid. My colon decided to join the party next and proceeded to empty itself as well. It was a horrible, horrible illness.

Mommy's hoodie 1

I feel better! (Sabine is wearing my first hoodie from 33 years ago! She looks so pretty in yellow!

And then the Professor got it. In one week time we blew through ROLLS of toilet paper and flushed more vomit than any frat party has ever produced. It was epic. I was so sick that my milk supply absolutely tanked. My tiny milk makers were deflated, sad and nothing would pump out of them. Sabine was hungry and grumpy, my nipples were sore from all her “dry humping” and I was starting to lose my mind. I sent the husband out for MotherLove “More Milk Plus” and fenugreek and have smelled like a maple syrup factory ever since.

So sleep training was completely derailed. By the time we were all starting to feel better and I was about ready to hop back on the sleep training horse Sabine decided it was high time she enter the dreaded six month sleep regression and started waking up four to five times a night. AND THEN, in case all of this was not enough, we went for a doctors appointment and found she had dropped from the 15th percentile to the 3rd percentile in weight. No Good. So now I am back to nursing every time she wakes at night to try and get her weight back up.

headband and toy

Toes & Toys – It’s what’s for dinner when Mama’s milk makers are on strike.

So sleep training has not happened. After two weeks and lots of herbs, calories and fluids my supply has recovered (thank heavens) and the three of us have recovered from what is now known as the Poop/Puke Plague. Sabine is looking chunkier (next weight check is Monday) and the apartment finally feels de-germed. Sabine is still sleep regressing, though, and I feel it is ย not a great time to try and sleep train. Five wake ups a night clearly mean something is up. So I’m striving to put her down awake and let her soothe herself to sleep and nap. The rest of the wake ups, though, I go in and rock/nurse her. Some days it works great while others it fails. Yesterday was a fail and I spent a good chunk of my day sitting on the couch holding her so she would nap. I also nursed her completely to sleep last night because I just could not handle listening to more crying.

My kid may not sleep but damn is she strong :) It makes me a proud Mama!

My kid may not sleep but damn is she strong ๐Ÿ™‚ It makes me a proud Mama!

I’m incredibly frustrated by everything. Sabine is such a great baby – happy, adorable, and ridiculously strong (look at that plank!) but holy hell she is a horrible sleeper. So many of my mommy friends have these rockstar sleepers and I just feel so… lost. Sabine’s good nights are when she only wakes twice, and those are so few and far between. I also fear that we are almost past the window of sleep training opportunity. Sabine is going to be crawling and standing soon, which means the sleep suit might no longer keep her pinned down. How on earth do you sleep train a kid that is standing in her crib and crying? I mean really… how do you do that??

Ugh, anyways, that is where Belle and her crew have been. Sleepless in NYC. It does not have the same ring as Sleepless in Seattle, does it? Nor is it very romantic (we won’t even get into how much this sleeplessness has KILLED my desire to ever again have sex.)

How are all of you? I am really behind in blog reading, but from skimming it looks like we have some long awaited pregnancies cooking nicely and some cycles that are looking promising. It also looks like many of you are on to round two of treatment, which is SO HARD to believe! I’m shocked that Sabine is still sleeping this morning. I’m going to hastily run spell check now and maybe even add a few Sabine photos. Leave me some sleep encouragement, please, or if you are also exhausted and frustrated, come commiserate with me. Misery does love her some company!

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35 Comments

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  1. January 21, 2014

    So, we never sleep trained. He was a bit of a crappy sleeper for some time. And he’s still hard to get to sleep. But at 17 months, when he’s down, he’s down. That’s it. For 11 hours. I fed to sleep ALL the time, he was a hopeless 45 min napper ( though in bed, not on me), we rock we pat to sleep. I’ve only just changes to settling in the cot. I remember the worst period was around crawling. From when he started trying to crawl to when he was really good at crawling, it was like his whole brain has to rearrange at night to do this new stuff.

  2. January 21, 2014

    So break all the rules…the rules are rubbish. Do what you need to do to get sleeping happening. They don’t get in “bad habits” because everything totally changes at each new stage anyway. And bad nights? Straight into bed between you, just ensure no quilts or pillows. Put all the rules aside and listen to sabine’s needs, and you’ll find a way to jiggle her natural rhythms to accommodate what you need. The struggle and battle ends when you just stop and listen. I just felt the biggest sense of relief once i let go of the sleep “rules”.

    • January 21, 2014

      Oh man, I WISH Sabine would sleep in our bed! She does not sleep at all in it, though. She is under the impression that when in bed with Mom and Dad it is either play time or nurse non stop time. My tiny boobies are not such that it is possible to sleep while one is in her mouth, either. As for breaking all the other rules, though, I do agree. She will eventually sleep. The trouble is that I need to sleep. I started school this weekend and need rest and study time. I also have to keep myself rested to keep my eye disease from flaring. It’s a delicate balance. Alas, these days are relatively few in the time Sabine and I will have together. I try to remember that VERY few kids are five and still wake constantly. Thanks for the encouragement!

      • January 21, 2014

        B won’t sleep with us anymore either, which is beyond sad. Won’t nap with m and me, won’t sleep with big b and me. Just wants to PLAY!

        I spent 6 hours in the rocker the other night with him. He was so stuffy and miserable and I just camped out with him. Rules are just guidelines.

        I understand your sentiments here. She WILL sleep, but you need sleep too. There is nothing wrong with saying that, and trying to make it happen.

  3. January 21, 2014

    Oh Belle! That norovieus sounds awful! I’m so, so sorry you all went through that!

    I won’t tell you how are sleep stuff is going because it will just piss you off but I will say that you can still sleep train your daughter if you want to. While some ages are not great for sleep training (because of developmental stages) they really never get too old. Of course it does get harder. We slept trained my daughter and it was great but we had to retrain her a few times over the years. I have a book that has recommendations for when to sleep train. I’ll find it after I’m done pumping and let you know when the best windows are.

    Good luck mama. Whatever you decide to do, YOU CAN DO IT!

    • January 21, 2014

      AH, I hope you are having great sleep success! And do tell me what you learn about the best times/worst times to sleep train are. I feel that a sleep regression/massive physical leap is not the time, you know? Her little brain and body are working overtime to crawl so I’ll give her all the cuddles and extra milk I can.

  4. January 21, 2014

    My comment is probably going to be unpopular, but I have to echo what ozifrog has said because I just don’t buy this theory that it’s “wrong” to rock your child to sleep or feed them to sleep. If you think about it, these rules and theories are all very recent in the context of human history. What did mothers do before then? They kept their babies close at all times, even during sleep. Biologically it makes no sense to allow a baby to cry itself to sleep; early human babies would have gotten their whole family unit eaten by predators if they’d been sleep trained.

    I have never sleep trained Seamus, though we have had some pretty damn miserable runs of waking up a gazillion times a night. I came very close to thinking I needed sleep training for him because it was getting so hard to function. But I started reading The Baby Sleep Book by the Searses and it helped me feel better about not wanting to give in to sleep training. One thing that really helped me put it in perspective was being reminded that this isn’t going to last forever. Yes, it’s hell while you’re going through it, but eventually your child WILL sleep. And if you have to catch up on your sleep by napping with the baby, do it. So, I still hold him and rock him to sleep. Sometimes he falls asleep with a bottle. Some nights he sleeps ok (five hour stretches), some nights are crap. But he’s a happy, thriving baby (except for the damn teething!), and I don’t feel that I’m ruining him in any way. I get a lot of confirmation of this by strangers who comment on what a calm and content little guy he is.

    I’ll try to wrap this up before it turns into a book…

    Bottom line, I don’t think people who sleep train their babies are horrible parents. Not at all. We’re all just doing the best we can. But I think a lot of us are made to feel like terrible parents if we DON’T sleep train and that we MUST sleep train or we’ll end up raising maladjusted children who will never sleep. So, maybe check out the Sears book. Although they are advocates of bed-sharing, they don’t make you feel that you have to, and I don’t. I’m not totally comfortable with it and it would just never work for us because of our own messed up sleep issues. I pick and choose the suggestions that I feel work best for us and so far things have been getting better (knock wood).

    Good luck!

  5. Mo #
    January 21, 2014

    I’m with ozifrog on this! Bunny sucks at napping and I drove myself crazy trying to get her on a nap schedule or at least extend the naps for two weeks before I realized it was a lost cause, and being a catnapper is just her nature! Things have been a lot calmer since then, and nothing has changed except I let go a bit and started ignoring the “rules”.
    My one piece of feedback is – have you tried “tanking up” for the night? Formula tends to take longer to digest, or you can use a bottle and mix your pumped milk with porridge (I think that’s the term in the US?) to keep her fuller during the night. She’s definitely old enough where you can supplement like that. Just a thought, not sure if you’ve tried it yet…

    • January 21, 2014

      We have tried tanking her up as much as possible. Adding to our challenges is that this girl will NOT take a bottle. She also rejects solids and continues to be 100% breastfed, which is wonderful and beautiful and I’m soooo thankful for and not complaining. But DAMN baby girl, I am in school from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. on Saturdays and your hunger strikes are going to wear me out ๐Ÿ™‚ I should write about the bottle struggles soon, as I’m sure I’m not the only one to deal with this. Just caught up on you and Bunny. Childcare is rough. Have you looked into an in-home nanny? It’s weird having them there while you are but it is a big help.

      • Mo #
        January 22, 2014

        Urgh sounds so frustrating? I’m sorry things are hard ;-(
        One of my issues was the opposite as you may remember- bunny got so used ton the bottle that the boob was just no longer an option. Things get so collocates sometimes!
        I feel ok with the day care place. At this point I really think it’s just a matter of getting used to it. Sigh.

        Xoxo

  6. January 21, 2014

    We sleep trained Matthew at 9.5 months when he was pulling himself up in the crib. That was hard ) but doable. Took 14 nights.

    After two weekend trips over the last 4 weeks, and another this weekend, Bryson’s sleep is not great. Not terrible, but not great. We are starting over next week and I’ve told B no overnights AT ALL for at least a month. I’m done starting over and over again. B will hate this, but its not him getting up with our screaming kids (m is now having random bad dreams and wants mommy. GEEZUS!).

    Your sicknesses sound awful. I’m so sorry.

    • January 21, 2014

      I do want to add that you need to do what is best for YOU. There is a lot of judgment in many of these comments, passed off as advice or “my experience.”. The ONLY experience that matters is YOURS. Yes, cavemen didn’t let their babies cry, but they also only ate fruit, veggies, and meat (no grains at all). We’ve come a long way as human beings. Cavemen also didn’t do IVF, or IUI. If we’re going to do as our ancestors did, then many of our children shouldn’t be here. I choose to feed my child paleo only, because I believe it’s what our bodies are meant to eat, but I would NEVER use that as a reason to lobby against what YOU feed YOUR child.

      All of this to say that you do what’s best for Sabine, the Prof, and you. I also want to note that one commenter said that if you sleep train, you’re not “horrible parents”. What she should have said is if you sleep train, you’re just as great a parent as she is, just different. Let’s please stop with the passive aggressive parenting statements like that!

      • January 21, 2014

        I’m sorry. That wasn’t really my intent. I just know that there’s a lot of judgement about baby sleep on both sides. I was trying to say that neither choice makes you a horrible parent (which I’ve been made to feel as a non-sleep trainer). I’m not proclaiming I’m a great parent either. Just trying to do the best I can – like everyone else.

        • January 21, 2014

          Sleeping and CIO and training are hot button issues for sure. I know that all babies are different. I believe that Sabine is leading the way, too. That said, me getting rest is REALLY important. I fear my autoimmune disease will flare if I get too run down, not to mention that I’m a raging bitch 80% of the time to my husband because I’m so tired! We will find our way eventually, be it CIO or other methods.

        • January 21, 2014

          I know what you mean. And I understand. But let me be the one to say it, Jenny, since you won’t. YOU are a GREAT parent. All of us who worry about things like this are effing GREAT parents. We’re all just different, which is actually a good thing.

  7. January 21, 2014

    It’ll happen, Belle. We had to sleep train a kid who was standing there crying, because, well, that’s where she was. It can be done! Here’s encouragement: Abby’s been getting 10-12 hours every night (plus a nap!) for over a year now. The time WILL come. Right now, take it where you can get it. We had two months when her only sleep was first nap, 8-10 am.

    • January 21, 2014

      Thank you for the encouragement! Abby is such a cutie, it gives me hope knowing that she found sleep!

  8. January 21, 2014

    Try not to feel too badly about making her CIO during illness, we tried CIO with one of the twins once and guess what? It was also during an illness….which I also didn’t realize right away. She’s fine now, not traumatized from her one night of neglect, and I’m sure sabine will be too. ๐Ÿ™‚

  9. Rachel #
    January 21, 2014

    Hi!
    Our one year old still doesn’t sleep through the night. She usually gets up twice to eat in addition to a few mini “social calls”… but we have some eating issues as well so I never felt it was the right time to sleep train her. When/if we ever get these eating issues under control my plan is to start Tracy Hogg’s “pick up/put down method”. No CIO at all, works for a kid who stands in crib… and you can feed them during the night.

    Also, you might read this. I think sleeping through the night isn’t as common as it might seem. Not sure if it’s reassuring or horrifying to read that “Disrupted sleep is not just an infancy issue: 70 percent of KIDS go through at least one period of waking one or more times every night during their first five years.”
    http://www.babyzone.com/baby/sleep/sleep-need-worry_66052

  10. January 21, 2014

    Our 6 month sleep regression didn’t end until we did sleep training. 6 weeks of waking every 45min all night long and that is when I called in the specialist. But you know Sabine and if she isn’t ready right now then that’s totally fine. But I’m saying, for us, this regression stuck around and just became the norm until we fixed it.

    Also, even if you do sleep train her before she is standing, you will have to go through it again when she can sit/stand in the crib. (Although if you’ve already done sleep training, apparently it is easier the second time around) When Apple first started sitting up in the crib he would sit there so sadly, and even if I went and laid him down he would pop back up. I spent a lot of time during the day teaching him to get back into lying down from sitting/standing, and after a couple of days he remembered how to do it in the crib and was able to put himself back to sleep. The two times Banana has sat up in the crib, she ended up falling asleep sitting straight up, we didn’t even notice because she was so quiet (though when we saw her on the monitor we went in to lay her back down!)

    • January 21, 2014

      As soon as we recover financially from the holidays I will be calling your specialist ๐Ÿ™‚

  11. January 21, 2014

    I too am with ozifrog and even more so with Jenny. I too went through a stage with Paxlet (I don’t think as bad as Sabine) where I felt very sleep deprived and about to lose it and thought we needed to do sleep training. It wasn’t recommended for another month or two, so I waited. But during that time Paxlet got a bit better in sleeping and more importantly, my mental picture changed. I read somewhere and realized that he is only small once and it won’t last forever. While it helped most times, there were still frustrating times.

    Up until a month (or two at most) ago, he is almost 16months, I boob feed Paxlet asleep. It was what worked for me/us. He now feeds, then brushes teeth and goes potty before snuggling with me for a sec while I sing to him before going to bed.

    I do hope Sabine starts sleeping better for all of your sakes soon. It will happen, of that I am sure!

    Glad to see you post. I was JUST looking at your blog last night to make sure I hadn’t missed anything.

  12. January 21, 2014

    We sleep trained the kid at somewhere between 6 and 9 months (see how much I remember from 5 years ago? Very little…) and it was fine. We had waited past whenever was recommended and we sleep trained again at 13 months when we weaned. That first training cut her back from up every 45 minutes to up once or twice a night. She was a stubborn kid and she still at 5 has a bad time getting herself to sleep. Even if now isn’t the time, things change when they start solids and maybe that will help you out. I don’t believe there really is a right time, the best time to attempt sleep training is when you need to do it. I hope it works whenever you are ready and that you get to sleep soon.

  13. January 21, 2014

    Cute baby yogi! She’s so gorgeous and she looks happy even with lack of sleep!

  14. Shinara #
    January 21, 2014

    You are genius in taking pictures of babies. Chickadee looks absolutely great.

    That virus is making it’s way through Seattle right now. My neighbor had to called 911 for their little son because he caught it and had seizures due to his high temperature. The firemen told them to give him Tylenol for the fever and Gatorade for the diarrhea (they didn’t have Pedialyte). He was completely fine the next day. This is enough to make me think, I am putting my babe in quarantine! (You should have put a pointy Plague hood on your brother to keep him from spreading the love.)

    I am so glad you are back and able to sneak in a post between baby duties and school duties. (Go MOMMA!) I am having a hard time getting work done on my computer, too. Actually, I am supposed to be working right now… OOPs… It’s hard to do normal things, like have a coffee while reading a book. But, Oh Well, I’d rather read to my babe anyway. Babe is getting teeth now, so sleep is really hard. I hit the wall the other night, collapsed in bed crying, while my husband tried to get our little one to sleep. Waking up every two hours is fine for a couple of days, but it adds up and then you’re fried. I keep forgetting that my husband can put him to sleep, too. He’s actually pretty good at it. But that night he took on the entire night to let me sleep,…you should have seen his eyes the next morning! hahahahaaa… He hadn’t done it in a while and babe is no longer a little infant that sleeps as soon as you put him down. Now he wakes every time you let go of him. So, it’s walk, rock, walk, rock…

    So here is my husband’s trick for getting him to remain sleeping when he puts him down in the crib. He walk/rocks him to sleep (while softly chanting “Wind, wind, rain, rain, wind, wind, rain, rain…”, then he holds him out, away from his body to prevent him from getting too warm and cuddly, then when he knows he’s still asleep in this cooler position, he gently puts him to bed in his crib. Voila! zzzzzzzzzz…. He is so proud to have discovered this trick!

    Oh, by the way, my mom always washed her baby’s butt in the sink after poos. and her hands afterwards. I do it, too. POO = Cholera, etc.

  15. jak #
    January 21, 2014

    LOVE the pix! that sucks about the plagueS though ๐Ÿ˜ฆ i am glad everyone is on the mend.

    F$CK baby training programs. just listen to your bean, she’ll tell you what she needs. sounds like that’s exactly what she’s doing.

    oh – and the weight loss – probably a bit of that drastic drop was the virus and all the poop. she’s probably still recovering. she’ll get back on track, i’m sure!!

  16. January 21, 2014

    Oh we had that nasty virus too! (and I don’t get sick much either and so like you aren’t crazy about hand washing most of the time myself). Glad everyone is feeling better!

  17. Jen #
    January 21, 2014

    As I was reading this for the first time, Jodie was standing in her crib, crying her face off. We have gone in and laid her back down 10 times and she just. keeps. standing. and crying.

    Sounds like you are hurting for some sleep, big time. Wish I had some words of advice or magic tricks up my sleeve, but I can only tell you you’re doing an amazing job and Sabine is lucky to have such a patient momma! Hang in there!

  18. January 21, 2014

    Oh no belle!!! That sounds like a horrible go! Sick family and sick baby and even less sleep….yuck. We also battled a puking virus over Christmas with 6/9 people in our house puking over the holidays, all at different times, it just kept moving on to the next. As to the cold – I always think I need to tell everyone, BUY the otrovin saline solution for babies that is in the sprayer. Ohmigod it is amazing. It dries up her little nose and she sleeps….and I have not ever needed to use the snot sucker. Even now, 3 months and about 300 colds into daycare and that thing lets her sleep all night every night. Don’t think, just buy before the next cold. As to the weight….I know it is hard not to worry, but if everything else seems fine with her and she is happy and moving (how strong!!!) and learning….some babies were just made to be small. As a child I wasn’t even on the charts, 11 lbs at 11 months and tested for every disease under the sun. But, obviously, all is well. Hopefully the drop is just a fallback of the big ugly virus.
    I hope miss Sabine figures out her sleep stuff soon!
    Ps. – she is too damn cute!

  19. January 21, 2014

    Oh no! It sounds like the worst virus, EVER! Sleep training is not easy, but I do hope you find a way to get some rest one way or another. I will admit. The quads were sleep trained by about 5 months, but naps are really hard, and still are at 18 months! We have naptime, but it doesn’t always go well. Good luck!

  20. January 21, 2014

    Check out the book Bedtiming. It theorizes that whatever method you choose to use to sleep train (we used CIO) is less important than when you do it. I’ll check my book tomorrow and get back to you, but I seem to recall that the window of 5.5 months to 7.5 months was the ideal time to implement whatever method you plan on doing. The book is written by psychologists and explains the reasoning but, as I recall, it has to do with like you mentioned, leaps and developmental milestones. That being said, we sleep trained our son at 5.5 months because oh lord the nights of 5 wakeups taking an hour to get back to sleep were draining this twin momma beyond belief. Nights took about a week and naps took forever, but it was worth it, 100%. I do not regret anything about how we handled the situation. It will get better, I promise. ๐Ÿ™‚

  21. Jamie #
    January 21, 2014

    It will get better. I promise you. The good thing about light sleepers like baby Sabine (and like my daughter who is now 3 and was a very similar sleeper) is that they often potty train easier than those rock star sleepers who potty and sleep right through it ๐Ÿ˜‰ … There is always a silver lining! Stay strong mama!! I’m glad your milk makers are back to producing and your family is healthy again – norovirus sucks!!!

  22. nonsequiturchica #
    January 23, 2014

    Ugh that virus sounds awful!!

    I’m no help on the sleep stuff. Izzy is two months old and is doing a pretty good job of sleeping but I know that will change with time, regressions, teething, etc.

  23. January 23, 2014

    jackson is the suckiest sleeper. i’m over here commiserating sister. i nurse him to sleep because it’s about all i can do to get him to sleep. god help us all!

  24. Jessy Madsen #
    January 27, 2014

    I’m a new reader here. I found your blog when googling ovary pain from egg retrieval and I’ve read almost every post! LOVE IT! I have two babies, both from multiple rounds of IVF. I honestly think, for me, that as IVF parents, we feel this need to cater to our children’s every need since we worked so DANG hard to get them here. That said, we feel guilty letting them cry. But I CANNOT function without sleep, so I felt I was a terrible mother (crying all the time from exhaustion, couldn’t clean, cook, play with my child because I was so tired it hurt) and I think NO ONE benefits from that. So I sleep trained both my babies at around four months and FOR ME that was the way to go because, though it was hard, it was quick (and they are both great sleepers to this day). Some people love sleeping with their babies, don’t need as much sleep, are able to focus on the child versus the lack of sleep, so they don’t feel they need to sleep train. But I can tell you’re desperate, so while it’s important to listen to your darling baby, it’s also important to listen to you and your own body and say, “What’s going to make me a better mom?” You must read, “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child”. It is my bible. Okay. These are just my opinions. Do what you want, but those are my thoughts. I think you are darling and I love your blog and am happy to have found it. Also, I have a lot of really good IVF drugs that I want to give away to someone who really needs them, so if you know of anyone, please let me know–I don’t, personally know of anyone and my clinic won’t take them back!

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