Have you seen the commercial where the teen girl lies about her period starting? All the cool girls are getting theirs so she lies and her mother catches her in the act. I saw it for the first time yesterday whlie reading an NPR article on the commercial. What struck me was not how weird it is to sell a period starter kit. Nor how off the mother-daughter dynamic was. Or even how freaking hilarious a vagina cake is (although now I find it rather amusing).
Nope. What struck me was my nodding head as I watched this girl lie about her period to fit in. Yep. Me. a 33 year old woman nodding her head in solidarity with the girl who painted fake period blood into a pad with nail polish. Teen girl, I feel ya. I desperately want Aunt Flo to visit me, too. Although I won’t go so far as to lie about it!
Sabine will turn one on Tuesday. One. My sweet little girl is already one! All my mommy friends, those nursing and not, have unceremoniously welcomed back their Aunt Flo. All the familiar gripes have come with their Flo, too. Such an unwelcome visitor, bringing cramps, bunchy pads or unsettled tampons, and granny panties with her each time.
Meanwhile, infertile Belle is still period-free, her period panties unused but not forgotten in the back of her underwear drawer.
While my fellow IFers begin symptom spotting in hopes of the miracle pregnancy, I continue to period spot. Any inkling of moisture sends me racing to the bathroom, eagerly awaiting a streak of red, yet always feeling defeated when I realize that no it was a just a little pee from laughing/coughing/sneezing too hard.
I don’t know if my period will ever come back. It has not been around for years anyways, why would pregnancy make any difference? I do know that when October 1 rolls around, which will mark 2 years since my last chemically induced period, I will call a doctor. I have a recommendation for an RE in New York who is supposed to be the best of the best of the best. He is known for his willingness to actually LOOK For what is wrong, not just say that IVF can get you pregnant and send you down the rabbit hole. Part of me prays that with a period would come hope for another child. The other part, though, prays that I can just feel like a normal woman. My family is complete. Is it too much to ask that my body be complete, too?
When did your period return postpartum? Were you nursing? Have you ever had a doctor actually try to find the reason you are infertile, or did they all simply say “IVF can help” and push you to sign up?