I am sorry. So. So. So sorry.
I didn’t know. Really. I did not know.
Sabine is a VERY late teether. She cut her first tooth two weeks ago and it has been slowly and agonizingly descending. Other teeth are starting to make the journey into the world, too, turning my sweet child into a hot teething mess. She will be gleefully playing with her crayons and then suddenly turn into a shrieking, flailing, head pounding monster.
She is like a rabid beast – all drooling and crazed. She wakes at night crying and when I look at the monitor I see her with all ten fingers and lovie shoved in her mouth, trying desperately to quell the pain. We need to buy stock in Baby Motrin. I buy baby carrots in bulk (her favorite teether). Her lovie is reaching a new level of gross as it sops up the buckets of drool.
For the past 16 months I have listened to mamas past and present share woeful tales of teething doom and I thought, “Surely they exaggerate… It can’t be that bad… They are weak and dramatic… The human species would have evolved to make teething a more seamless process if it were really that bad.”
Turns out Mother Nature is a gigantic bitch. Not only does she bestow infertility on 1 in 8 of us, she also makes our precious miracle children teethe for like 800,674,369 days. In the most dramatic fashion.
I am sorry to you all. And now I am going to go eat another brimming bowl of words and mop up some drool. xoxo