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Mouthwash

06/15/2015

Belle

Source.  This is how I feel about this mouthwash.

Source.
This is how I feel about mouthwash.

About two months ago I went to the dentist for what I hoped would be a cleaning, but suspected would end up an appointment to come back for gum work. Unfortunately it was the later.

The dentist took a few x-rays, poked around my mouth for two minutes and announced he would need to get insurance approval to do some deep cleaning on my gums and repair some bondings. Pregnancy, he said, did a number on my gums and I really need to get them in shape before things get out of hand (confession: this is only my second postpartum dental appointment).

He sent me out with a prescription for some god-awful mouthwash and the promise to call me after the approval came in. FIVE WEEKS LATER I finally got a call. By this point I was starting to think he was scamming me.

“I bet he charged the insurance for that ‘consultation’ and then took his sweet time getting back with me,'” I said to the Professor. “He just wrote the prescription for this nasty mouthwash to make it FEEL like we did something during the first appointment. I am not going to use it. He will never know.”

I put the gross mouth wash under the sink and went about my life.

The morning of my appointment rolled around and I prepared by showering, doing my hair (because you know, you totally should spend time fluffing your hair just to go lay on it for an hour and squish it all down), brushing AND flossing.

“I’ll show him,” I thought. “I bet this one-time flossing will be enough to mitigate all the gum problems from my now distant pregnancy!”

When I got to the dentist he was super apologetic about the long wait on approvals. He explained that Cig.na Dental is notoriously slow at approvals and that his other patients often called and pestered every few days to check on them. He appreciated my patience. Oops.

Then he settled in with his tray of torture devices and started to work on my lower teeth. The suction sucked, the spray sprayed, the evil scrappy device scraped. And scraped. And scraped. And scraped. After a few minutes he set down the scrapper and asked,” Did you use your mouth wash?”

I stared at him, open-mouthed (because it was full of pain and embarrassment) and stammered, “Um, no…. Well, I mean, I used it for about a day. It tastes really horrible.”

“I thought so. You really need to use it. There is a reason I prescribed it. We are going to have to rebook this appointment so you use the mouthwash for a week beforehand.”

BAM.

I was scolded by my dentist.

At the ripe-old age of 34.

And sent home to basically think about my actions.

So let this be warning to all you formerly prego ladies who might also have long-term gum complications. That nasty mouthwash? It actually does something. And the dentist will know if you don’t use it!

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8 Comments

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  1. Geochick #
    June 15, 2015

    Oh man! There’s something about getting scolded by a doctor that makes us fee like little kids, isn’t there?

  2. jak #
    June 15, 2015

    totally have to comment on this.

    i am an oral hygiene jedi master. my dentist has actually said to me, “some people don’t really need a dentist, and you’re one of them.” here’s my routine:

    1. floss first
    2. brush
    3. rinse with peroxide (straight out of the brown bottle). it will stink and make your mouth taste like mushrooms for the first week or so, but that is because the H2O2 is oxidizing all the nasty crap that you’ve let live in your mouth by not using mouthwash or peroxide regularly. once the funk has mostly died down, you know you’ve reduced the resident population of bugs to a reasonable level.
    4. once you’ve graduated from a week of peroxide, you can being swapping peroxide for listerine (the strong stuff that is yellow colored, nothing less will do) every few days.

    this seriously works. you only get one set of teeth… take care of them:)

  3. Jos #
    June 15, 2015

    Um, I feel like I need to take Jak’s advice PRONTO. I’m like you…. I have great teeth, but my gums leave something to be desired, and I TOTALLY got wrecked by pregnancy on that front. It really is important and makes a difference. Okay…*sigh*…off to brush and floss (and rinse with peroxide? UGH!)

  4. Jay #
    June 16, 2015

    what is far better than nasty mouthwash is oil: coconut oil actually makes for a FABULOUS mouthwash, and really removes plaque and debris and is antimicrobial. I was pretty skeptic about this (it is an ancient ayurveda technique), but then I read up on it and modern medicine also agrees that it is pretty darned effective as a mouthwash.

  5. June 17, 2015

    Hahaha I have to laugh because I got scolded pretty well by my dentist last year.

  6. June 17, 2015

    I know the mouthwash.. I had it after my funky root canal. It does taste horrible! But, it does a good job! I just tossed mine because it was expired.

    Good luck!

  7. Lisa #
    June 17, 2015

    My father is a dentist and this just made me laugh so much that coffee came out of my nose. Good luck on your next visit!

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